today i met up with friends from college, we hadnt seen each other in a while and it was nice.

then came lunchtime and choosing a place to eat. I didnt want to eat anywhere where they sold alcohol or pork and i let the others know in a one-sentencer.

then we found this pizza place, one of the friends had eaten there and loved it and so we decide to eat there, we're queuing and im looking at the menu and i see they sell pork/unhalaal food, so i tell them that I won't eat there but they can go ahead and order, i'll just pop somewhere else adn get something else. I explained why and just looked apologetic and felt bad in the back of my mind.

(why did i feel bad/apologetic?)

He died in Syria a couple of days ago.

This is an email i received about him, I've also seen his picture around on fb. I guess he's like a modern day hero.

A great man and an elder brother to me, Dr Isa Abdur Rahman, was martyred yesterday while providing humanitarian medical aid to the injured in Syria.

I first met Isa when I was going through a very difficult period but Isa helped me focus on my deen and encouraged me to get more involved in the Isoc. I owe a lot to him but the one thing I owe the most was the dua that he brought to my attention, a dua that not only changed my life for the better and brought me closer to Allah, but gave me a peace I had never experienced before:

ever had that moment, when you just don't wanna do something, something you've been told to do. and im not talking about revising or working or whatever. im talking about something specific. like hoovering the bathroom or baking a cake or something like that. or cleaning your room or go pick up your little sister or load the dishwasher or whatever. someone in authority over you ask you to do something and you just dont wanna FRIKKING DO IT!

and you know, deep down inside that you gotta do it. so then your mind proceeds to play gladiators, exhausting your emotional energy and whatever else and then when a FRIKKING PIN DROPS YOU FEEL LIKE KILLING SOMEBODY.

so i started with googling, opened three links which led to four and here they are:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22634468 a short BBC report, with a short clip of one of the attacker. one thing though, they keep emphasizing how distressing the clip might be etc..but in today's age where we're exposed to this killing and that killing in movies and games.. the reality of the man's red hands and bloodied knife just doesnt sink in.

what would you do if you saw a stranger crying alone, someone at a bus stop for example?

what would you say?

if you were pushed so much that you ended up crying in public alone, would you want someone to say something to you?

May Peace and blessings of Allah be on you dear reader!

ever been browsing the net and scrolling up (or down) and suddenly instead of scrolling your webpage just shrinks (or grows bigger?)

never fear, LtS here in a moment of procastination paused her lecture, went of tribby and this particular scenario described above occured to her for the "once-too-many" time and so she did what anyone of her generation would do.

yes ladies and gentlemen..

I googled it.

in your everyday life, are you more of a dreamer, your feet touching down on reality every once in a while whenever needed but you're mostly up there in the clouds thinking about places to be and things to do?

or are your feets firmly rooted in reality and you know exactly whats going on around you all the time?

whats the opposite of reality? is it dreams?

I think i qualify as a dreamer, theres nothign to qualify for, and ive never been in anyone else's mind so I dont know if there's an opposite or different state of mind to the "dreaming" one I'm in most of the time. so really, the first two queston i asked are not the only category that exists probably. If you know more about state of minds then please do share.

so theres a little thing in my life, that ive blown out of proportion and its really beed bad.

then someone said something abt writing a poem abt it.

i frown and thought:

a poem? i wouldnt waste time writing a poem about THAT?! poem requires energy and focus and attention and ENERGY and thinking about the rhyming and the way you express your ideas and the idea order and all those other things I associate with poem writing.

i just thought, i'm not wasting my time on THAT for THIS!

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then i remembered texting a friend about what to do with destructive energy. i dont know if you've ever had a moment where you just want to destroy something.

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on my road there is a yellow sports car. very funky. very sporty.

then i came home while it was dark outside, and the streetlights were on and the funky yellow sports car looked boring and not so very yellow.

theres a wisdom in this somewhere. not sure where though

– Three People Will Not Enter Paradise

Abdullaah ibn ‘Umar(rA) reported that the Prophet said:

“Three people will not enter paradise, and Allaah will not look to them on the Day of Judgement: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the ad-Dayooth.” (Ahmad)

Ad-Dayooth is the man who permits women for whom he is responsible (eg: mother, wife, sister etc.) to engage in illicit sexual relations, or to display their beauty to strange men, thereby stimulating their sexual desires.