[color=green]Me[/color]: Did you see that an elderly couple from Dubai were treated really badly when they were in Britain on holiday, and refused entry when they tried to go on the London Eye, because apparantly they'd been speaking Arabic with each other.
[color=red]Girl at Work (Chav)[/color]: It was there own fault for not speaking English!
[color=green]Me[/color]: You've been on holiday to Dubai, right?
[color=red]Chav[/color]: Yeah.
[color=green]Me[/color]: And did you speak English or Arabic?
[color=red]Chav[/color]: English, of course.
[color=green]Me[/color]: So whats the difference?
[color=red]Chav[/color]: Well I didn't go there to blow them up!

Guybrush Threepwood: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Pirate: If a woodchuck could chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?
Guybrush Threepwood: If a woodchuck could chuck wood, and if a woodchuck should chuck wood, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck?
Pirate: If a woodchuck could chuck wood, and if a woodchuck should chuck wood, would a woodchuck chuck wood?
Guybrush Threepwood: If a woodchuck could chuck wood, and if a woodchuck should chuck wood, and if a woodchuck would chuck wood, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck?
Pirate: Shut up.

-Monkey Island II: Le Chuck's Revenge
http://www.scummbar.com/imageviewer/imageviewer.php?useimage=/games/medi...

Me teaching the English translation of Surah Iklas to small children

Me: “And there is no one like Him (swt)”

Child “Miss, why doesn’t no one like Him (swt)?”

Me “No sweety, this verse means that He is unique and special and nothing is comparable to Him (swt)”

Child “what does unique and comparable mean?

Me “It means that He is special and there is no one like Him (swt)”

Child “Miss, why doesn’t no one like Him (swt)?

Neighbour (84 year old lady) strolls in the back conservatory door without knocking in her fluffly black feathery slippers and says is anybody in?
Mum is in the kitchen and there are 4 other ppl in the living room :?

me:How are you?
neighbour: im ok
neghbour: so which one are you? the one that works at the hospis?
me: no thats my sister
neighbour : ok so you must be the one that works in asda
me: no thats my other sister
neighbour: so are you the one that goes to school and gets off the bus?
me: no thats my other sister
neighbour: so which one are you? i have never seen you before?
me: im the one that works in the retail park and you have seen me before
neighbour: no i havent
me: yes you have
neighbour: no you havent

this goes on for a good 10 mins....finally
me: ok you havent then

^^That happens with me and my sister a lot. Most of the time on the phone, as people cant usually tell us apart.

And on most days - when it isnt someone really important on the phone, we usually talk on each others behalf and cant be bothered to clear up the mistake.

"MuslimSister" wrote:

^^That happens with me and my sister a lot. Most of the time on the phone, as people cant usually tell us apart.

And on most days - when it isnt someone really important on the phone, we usually talk on each others behalf and cant be bothered to clear up the mistake.

lol
but we dont even look the same, were all different shapes and vary from milkybar white to nesquik brown coco pops in colour
I think its just old ppl in general that get confused.

You only see the similarities when viewed from a far (not physical distance... but not knowing the people).

If you know the people, you notice the differences. If you don't, you see the similarities.

It like they say "All [i][enter whatever race you do not have much contact with][/i] look the same".

"MuslimSister" wrote:

when it isnt someone really important on the phone, we usually talk on each others behalf and cant be bothered to clear up the mistake.

theres a swedish guy at work, and I can do a [i]pretty[/i] good impression of him. sometimes when i answer the phone in my office i'll put on his voice. I've noticed people are a LOT ruder when they think its him than they are to me.

does anyone know if pretending to be someone else is haram?

"Ya'qub" wrote:

does anyone know if pretending to be someone else is haram?

hope not because im always doing it over the phone when i ring or someone else does. In the past when ive phoned up i always tell them im speaking on my mums behalf (because she doesnt understand or speak english) and that she has given me permission. And the answer i get in return is:

person on phone :i still need to speak to your mum to ask her some security questions.
me: :? she doesnt speak or understand english and she has given me permission to speak on her behalf
person on phone: but i still need to speak with her
me: didnt you hear me i said she doesnt understand or speak english
person on phone: i still need to speak to her.
me: (slow mo) she does not speak or understand english
person on phone: can you put your mum on the phone
me: :evil: slams the phone down.
5 minutes later
me: dials number hello this is Mrs (state mums name)
person on phone: ok just need to ask you a couple of security questions

result!

The children in my class like my 'Hat'.

Despite the fact that I tell them on a daily basis that I'm not wearing a hat, they still like my hat.

Other children think that I've joined the Size Zero debate, cos I've stopped eating and reg try to talk me out of it.

"MuslimSister" wrote:

The children in my class like my 'Hat'.

Despite the fact that I tell them on a daily basis that I'm not wearing a hat, they still like my hat.

Other children think that I've joined the Size Zero debate, cos I've stopped eating and reg try to talk me out of it.

lol thats reminds of this kid that once came to my till and asks "what is that black thing on your head?" (He was referring to my headscarf).He were only little and i had a massive queue. If i had told him why i was weraing it (from a religious point of view) he probs wouldnt have understood or it would have been 101 questions (coz thats what kids are like). So i said instead that my ears get cold and i wear the scarf to keep my ears warm.

"Naz" wrote:

So i said instead that my ears get cold and i wear the scarf to keep my ears warm.

"MuslimBro" wrote:

"Naz" wrote:

So i said instead that my ears get cold and i wear the scarf to keep my ears warm.

He'll wonder why you wear the scarf in summer

to keep you cool from the sunshine!

Random guy at bustop: You Muslim?
Me: You what?
Random dude: You Muslim?
Me: Er Yeah...
Random dude: You fasting?
Me: Errr Yeah...
Random dude: Allhmadulilah, Allahmdulilah

i was like, helloo! i'm wearing a jilbab/hijab, aint it obvious?! what other faith apart from islam requires a woman to dress like that?! Silly guy.

"Noor" wrote:

what other faith apart from islam requires a woman to dress like that?!

a full on hijaab and jilbab? i dont think so!

edit: maybe christianity does, in sister act the women were covered head to toe. but anywaay, he cud clearly tell i was a Muslimah, i had my tasbeeh rolling for pete sake!

"Noor" wrote:

Random guy at bustop: You Muslim?
Me: You what?
Random dude: You Muslim?
Me: Er Yeah...
Random dude: You fasting?
Me: Errr Yeah...
Random dude: Allhmadulilah, Allahmdulilah

i was like, helloo! i'm wearing a jilbab/hijab, aint it obvious?! what other faith apart from islam requires a woman to dress like that?! Silly guy.

now now Noor calm down its our job to educate the ignorant. If we start kicking off everytime a non believer asks us whether we are Muslims then what kind of impression of Islam would we be sending out.
While i was Egpyt the same thing happended to me. I would be walking down the street and the ppl (muslims) would ask are you Muslim. At first i did find it insulting as i thought it were pretty obvious but then i asked them one day why they ask. They said its coz the chrisitans also wear the headscarf.

"Ya'qub" wrote:

to keep you cool from the sunshine!

"Noor" wrote:

i was like, helloo! i'm wearing a jilbab/hijab, aint it obvious?! what other faith apart from islam requires a woman to dress like that?! Silly guy.

i dint actually say that. anway, he knew i was a muslim, i guess he was just trying to make convo!

At least he did not start with "so what is the weather like?"

me: doing work on my laptop in bed
mum: comes into the room "what are you doing, why have you got the light on soo late?" you better not be on the revival.
me: :? its only 10.30pm and im doing work and no im not on the revival, why do you always think that?
mum: "why dont you put your lamp on? Your disturbing your sister (who was pretending to sleep coz she burst into fits of laughter when my mum was teling me off) who has work in the morning"
me: coz it puts too much pressure on my eyes and plus i got work in the morning too .
mum: puts the lamp on. "hurry up and pack your stuff away"
me: but im trying to do my work!
mum: as she works out of the room "i better not see you on that revival forum".
me: yes mother

"Naz" wrote:

me: doing work on my laptop in bed
mum: comes into the room "what are you doing, why have you got the light on soo late?" you better not be on the revival.
me: :? its only 10.30pm and im doing work and no im not on the revival, why do you always think that?
mum: "why dont you put your lamp on? Your disturbing your sister (who was pretending to sleep coz she burst into fits of laughter when my mum was teling me off) who has work in the morning"
me: coz it puts too much pressure on my eyes and plus i got work in the morning too .
mum: puts the lamp on. "hurry up and pack your stuff away"
me: but im trying to do my work!
mum: as she works out of the room "i better not see you on that revival forum".
me: yes mother

huh? i thought u were married?

"Seraphim" wrote:

"Ya'qub" wrote:

huh? i thought u were married?

What a married woman cant go back to her parents house?

[size=7]Give the guy a break from all the nagging[/size]

i meant more along the lines of sharing a room with her sister

"Ya'qub" wrote:

huh? i thought u were married?

lol where you get that idea?

@Seraphim if you men did what you were suppose to do the first time then us women wouldnt have to tell you off