I would NEVER choose to be with someone at the expense of my parents happiness
if they aint happy with me then I aint happy either
It aint about romance. Its about them trusting you to make a decision.
—
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Submitted by Seraphim on 14 November, 2005 - 23:28 #33
"Constantine" wrote:
"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:
There's too many romantics on this forum :roll:
I would NEVER choose to be with someone at the expense of my parents happiness
if they aint happy with me then I aint happy either
Fall in love some time - deeply
You find yourself doing all kinds of incomprehensibly unbalanced things.
Her position is a lot more painful than you might imagine
That im afraid is all too true.
love is both beautiful and painful. They both come hand in hand.
As the pain is alot more devastating when caused by a loved one.
—
Back in BLACK
Submitted by Amber on 14 November, 2005 - 23:29 #34
"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:
ters, then ur FINISHED!, take a year
2-You dark horse
As an asian u should know that no guy wants a girl who is darker then the average cup of chai. So visit the tanning salon, wear gold to make u look darker :twisted: and put on weight
if ur not "slim and white" then no one will want to marry u
This ones my fav, I think alot of people in the asian society are biased about the skin colour, you know when they say "oh shes so beautiful and white" Hello what about "shes so beautiful and black"
—
THROUGH LOVE all that is bitter will be sweet.
Through Love all that is copper will be gold.
Through Love all dregs will turn to purest wine.
Through Love all pain will turn to medicine.
Through Love the king will turn into a slave!
It aint about romance. Its about them trusting you to make a decision.
say u make a wrong decision
who u gonna go crying back to?
hey, atleast it was you who made the mistake. Atleast you will not suffer for someone elses mistake.
—
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Submitted by Medarris on 14 November, 2005 - 23:31 #38
Constantine, I didn't, I was responding to Yashmaki's stomach-churning advice.
It was less advice, more a series of questions ramz would have to answer truthfully to herself.
—
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
TEN HOT TIPS ON HOW TO GET OUT OF AN ARRANGED MARRAIGE
1-Uni Bum
staying on in higher Education is very succesful in avoiding an arranged marraige all u have to do is get into Uni (thats easy-just choose sociology :twisted: )
Work hard in ur first year, take a year out to travel, complete sec year, take another year out to travel, finish ur last year, mess up ur last semester (just tell ur teachers that ur emotionally traumatised by ur parents trying to force u into marraige :twisted: )
take a year our to travel, do ur masters, then ur FINISHED!, take a year out again, spend some time "struggling" to establish urself
by this time u shoud be 29 or 30 well past the sell by date-ur parents will be so desperate to get rid of u they will wed u to whoever u want
2-You dark horse
As an asian u should know that no guy wants a girl who is darker then the average cup of chai. So visit the tanning salon, wear gold to make u look darker :twisted: and put on weight
if ur not "slim and white" then no one will want to marry u
3-Holy Moly
No one wants to marry a religious extremist. Sprout views of terrorism and everyone will run away frm u
4-Be A bum
If ur a guy-get a crap job. No dad will give u his daughter. And if ur a girl do NOT learn how to cook and clean and make ur extreme radical feminist views clear. No guy will want you
5-BE HEARTLESS
just tell the guy/girl that ur parents are trying to set u up with that u NOT INTRESTED. do everything under the sun to make them go off u
6-Big up single life
tell ur parents that remaining unmarried is good for u as an evil son/daughter in law will just "take u away from ur darling parents"
7-Commit suicide
this is a great cry for help. It gets ur point across and parents realise how serious u are. There's one draw back though.
Your dead.
8-Dress Down
If u a guy dress either like a freshi or a black guy. If your a girl dress like a tart-whilst guys do like to bog at such woman-no guy will make u his wife
9-Insult the potential mother in law
Nuf said.
10-Just say NO!!!
if ur a girl and ur parents are strict then just call up someone-either a scholar or an organisation that will help u out of this mess
if ur a guy, just be a MAN and put ur foot down. After all what can they really do?
But just remember after u have said no NEVER take a holiday back home. unless ur really stupid and cant see whats being plotted.
GOOD LUCK
Naj this should put a smile on ur face
I cant answer ramz dilemna but what i do know is-there are ways to get out of forced marraiges
Admin, ramz was looking for help, not "a series of questions ramz would have to answer truthfully to herself".
Submitted by Amber on 14 November, 2005 - 23:37 #45
advice can come in the form of questions aswell, she doesn't want anyone telling her what to do, but to give her a guide line
—
THROUGH LOVE all that is bitter will be sweet.
Through Love all that is copper will be gold.
Through Love all dregs will turn to purest wine.
Through Love all pain will turn to medicine.
Through Love the king will turn into a slave!
Admin, ramz was looking for help, not "a series of questions ramz would have to answer truthfully to herself".
At the end of the day, it is her who has to decide.
So she must be sure about her position on ALL of it and all possible fall out.
—
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Submitted by star on 14 November, 2005 - 23:42 #49
"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:
Naj this should put a smile on ur face
I cant answer ramz dilemna but what i do know is-there are ways to get out of forced marraiges
there is some truth in the jokes above
thanx alot lilsis....but cnt get out of it i know so.
NOT that im forced....asked having agreed den changing my mind when things gone to far...
She can make her offers. If she offers her boyfriend love, in a Muslim marriage, and offers her parents love, let everyone say what they will say and that will be that, no problem, but it is scary, and those that won't, won't. Adding to the pressure by crunching that equaion over, with advice contrary to what ramz intends, is very upsetting for me to read. I respect her, in her position, and I was bluntly realistic, and I really cannot respect Yashmaki's advice, and I advocate that ramz lives a free and fulfilling life of her choosing and agreement in line with her plea for help. That is how not to have to marry against her wishes, which was the question.
Submitted by Dave on 15 November, 2005 - 00:00 #51
We all did dedicate a very large amount of our time to correcting each others idiotic beliefs.
It seems more like her problem was a catalyst for our discussion about who is more right rather than a problem we are trying to solve...
when you ask for advice, you have o be willing to get a reply that you may not like.
After all if you had an answer, you would not be asking.
Fair to say, you do not agree with Yashmaki. Fair enough. You do not have to.
Any objection raised to yourself was at the 'Zzzzz!', not you not liking her advice.
—
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Submitted by Dave on 15 November, 2005 - 00:04 #55
I really wasn't talking about anyone in particular - i meant in general.
When you click on this page the first thing you see is
"loooooooooooooooooooooooooooool" and a congratulatory remark from med to lilsis about how right she is.
followed by discussions about whos right whos not why they are right who is being stupid and a quick comment from naj that implies shes in the same situation.
That's not about solving Ramz's problem... that's just another discussion
truthfully I cannot see parents never understanding... they will understand, and accept. It may take time, but it'll happen.
But it may be because of the people I know.
—
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Submitted by Dave on 15 November, 2005 - 00:09 #58
Ramz what's your relationship like with your parents? Are they distant but controlling or do you have a solid relationship?
Submitted by Medarris on 15 November, 2005 - 00:11 #59
"Admin" wrote:
back to topic everyone.
truthfully I cannot see parents never understanding... they will understand, and accept. It may take time, but it'll happen.
But it may be because of the people I know.
yeh they may understand and accept.
But personally, the relationship between parents and child wont EVER be the same again. Why risk that pure relationship for a husband/wife innit?
Like I said before, it might mean the child having to give up a lot, perhaps having to give up the best thing ever for them , perhaps having to give up that thing which seemed so perfect for them, but cant that be done for your parents?
Maybe, ALLAH will reward the child so well that he wishes he could make that sacrifice again for his parents?
Who knows? Im just chatting it, ignore me. dunno what im on abt , lol
And it will not be the same if they force you to change either.
You will not havbe the same level of trust in them.
—
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Fall in love some time - deeply
You find yourself doing all kinds of incomprehensibly unbalanced things.
Her position is a lot more painful than you might imagine
It aint about romance. Its about them trusting you to make a decision.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
That im afraid is all too true.
love is both beautiful and painful. They both come hand in hand.
As the pain is alot more devastating when caused by a loved one.
Back in BLACK
This ones my fav, I think alot of people in the asian society are biased about the skin colour, you know when they say "oh shes so beautiful and white" Hello what about "shes so beautiful and black"
THROUGH LOVE all that is bitter will be sweet.
Through Love all that is copper will be gold.
Through Love all dregs will turn to purest wine.
Through Love all pain will turn to medicine.
Through Love the king will turn into a slave!
say u make a wrong decision
who u gonna go crying back to?
holy smokes..
another hurting topic....
hey, atleast it was you who made the mistake. Atleast you will not suffer for someone elses mistake.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
why is it a hurting topic?
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
coz tiz, U wont know.. btw im impressed on what u wrote on page 1.
easier said then done.
I repeat-who ur gonna go crying to?
ur parents to hear them say "I told u so"? :roll:
It was less advice, more a series of questions ramz would have to answer truthfully to herself.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Naj this should put a smile on ur face
I cant answer ramz dilemna but what i do know is-there are ways to get out of forced marraiges
there is some truth in the jokes above
Admin, ramz was looking for help, not "a series of questions ramz would have to answer truthfully to herself".
advice can come in the form of questions aswell, she doesn't want anyone telling her what to do, but to give her a guide line
THROUGH LOVE all that is bitter will be sweet.
Through Love all that is copper will be gold.
Through Love all dregs will turn to purest wine.
Through Love all pain will turn to medicine.
Through Love the king will turn into a slave!
ramz needs to clear her own head out-be sure of what she's doing before she seeks advice
So, I gave her my advice, and I was honestly sickened by Yashmaki's approach, offense or no offense.
At the end of the day, it is her who has to decide.
So she must be sure about her position on ALL of it and all possible fall out.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
thanx alot lilsis....but cnt get out of it i know so.
NOT that im forced....asked having agreed den changing my mind when things gone to far...
cnt possibly shame my parents can I.
She can make her offers. If she offers her boyfriend love, in a Muslim marriage, and offers her parents love, let everyone say what they will say and that will be that, no problem, but it is scary, and those that won't, won't. Adding to the pressure by crunching that equaion over, with advice contrary to what ramz intends, is very upsetting for me to read. I respect her, in her position, and I was bluntly realistic, and I really cannot respect Yashmaki's advice, and I advocate that ramz lives a free and fulfilling life of her choosing and agreement in line with her plea for help. That is how not to have to marry against her wishes, which was the question.
We all did dedicate a very large amount of our time to correcting each others idiotic beliefs.
It seems more like her problem was a catalyst for our discussion about who is more right rather than a problem we are trying to solve...
I was just saying my piece man.
when you ask for advice, you have o be willing to get a reply that you may not like.
After all if you had an answer, you would not be asking.
Fair to say, you do not agree with Yashmaki. Fair enough. You do not have to.
Any objection raised to yourself was at the 'Zzzzz!', not you not liking her advice.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Yashmaki's ignoring it Admin, get over it.
I really wasn't talking about anyone in particular - i meant in general.
When you click on this page the first thing you see is
"loooooooooooooooooooooooooooool" and a congratulatory remark from med to lilsis about how right she is.
followed by discussions about whos right whos not why they are right who is being stupid and a quick comment from naj that implies shes in the same situation.
That's not about solving Ramz's problem... that's just another discussion
So I'd best point out it's no skin off my back and I don't "know". Respect, Constantine. Yaz very very good.
back to topic everyone.
truthfully I cannot see parents never understanding... they will understand, and accept. It may take time, but it'll happen.
But it may be because of the people I know.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Ramz what's your relationship like with your parents? Are they distant but controlling or do you have a solid relationship?
yeh they may understand and accept.
But personally, the relationship between parents and child wont EVER be the same again. Why risk that pure relationship for a husband/wife innit?
Like I said before, it might mean the child having to give up a lot, perhaps having to give up the best thing ever for them , perhaps having to give up that thing which seemed so perfect for them, but cant that be done for your parents?
Maybe, ALLAH will reward the child so well that he wishes he could make that sacrifice again for his parents?
Who knows? Im just chatting it, ignore me. dunno what im on abt , lol
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
And it will not be the same if they force you to change either.
You will not havbe the same level of trust in them.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
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