Salaam, what is your opinion on getting married in order to stay away from haram actions?
I am a religious 18 year old muslim, i pray 5 times a day. the only thing that is damaging my imaan is the fitnah of women. I see women half naked outside on the streets and on tv everyday and its very hard to keep practising with so many distractions. My mum would let me get married to a gal in pakistan but my dad says that i shud do my degree first. What do u think?? jazaakallah
Im also worried about what my mates wud think if i ever got a wife
i understand what you mean bro
but you get great sawaab for fighting temtations, especially considering the state of todays society
i for one have give up watching tv's and movies....there simply isnt half an hour of clean content....besides news and football
it happens to a lot of young guys trying to stay on the straight path, theres that urge to satisfy your temptations/needs....you know what i mean :roll:
getting married young isnt neccasirly a bad thing, whether you have completed your degree or not, it depends on whether your READY and you can take on married life.....dont ask me about that tho!!
i wouldnt care what my mates thought if i had a wife!! its something to be happy be about. i cant understand people i know who hide the fact they are married or are embarrased. its can be a blessing!
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
personally i wouldnt say no in a few years time
..unfortunately theres two ahead of me :roll: ......
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
A beautiful topic indeed.
Brother may I suggest two solutions. If you can marry and support yourself and your wife then marry immediately. Depending on your level of control it might be better to marry a person here; this way both you and your wife can conitnue studying and perhaps even she can remain at her parental home until you can afford to bring her to your home. You can meet her during the week or atleast at weekends.
If you wish to marry from abroad then you need to consider how you will be able to show to home office that you can bring a wife over here and support her. If you wish to marry from abroad I refer you to the Immigration Advisory Service. Even if you are not working but are studying and can show u have enough room to accomodate your wife and also that your parents or relatives have sufficient money to support your wife whilst you are studying then you should be able to bring a wife over easily.
If marriage is not really practical then your alternative, your ONLY alternatvie as a mature young man, is to fast. Either a young man or woman is married or he is fasting. It is not good that young bachelors or virgin girls remain unmarried and also not fasting because this opens the door to fitnah.
Hence I strongly advise you marry or fast. Do NOT remain unmarried and also unfasting, this is a path to destruction.
Personally I think the younger people marry the better. I am unmarried but believe young marriages are most beneficial and have remained in our islamic tradition for centuries, it is only in recent times that people in muslim society have delayed marriage and this has been to our detriment.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
Getting married young...
The only problem i have with that you should be in a position to support yourself aswell as your partner (this is to the guys) and not have to rely on handouts from parents, not that you wont get any but that its a matter of principle.
Girls, simply be mature about it and realise that what you do now not only affects you but also your partner. A woman can either make a home... or break it. I admit the man plays his part aswell but he can change them to what the wife wants.
So if both the above is tru of yourselves then i'd say you have a fighting chance.
Back in BLACK
yeh definatly get married young.
i dont believe in being able to support urself business. after all its allah swt who provides.
even if u get married, and break ur neck tomorrow, who gna provide then?
if u feel the need of a woman, get married. I wish Id got married when i was 18.
[b][i]Round and round the Ka'bah,
Like a good Sahabah,
One step, Two step,
All the way to jannah[/i][/b]
person should get maried when THEY want-
be they young or old
its funny how in our time girls get married younger then guys normally do
even tho its the guys who need to get married ASAP :roll:
the problem is that i dont even kno whether im ready to be a husband or whether i can take care of my wife, im not workin and will study pharmacy in uni this month. I only i wanna get married to get rid of temptations and be able to practise islam properly..is that a legit reason?
Fasting is prob your only practical option.
And lower your gaze, don't watch TV so much, don't get drawn into dirty convos with your mates about girls.
it is
but if you cant support (even tho Allah SWT will help u there) , or feel u arent reeady....dont go diving in
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
i dont know whether ur reason is legit or not
but generally speaking here-parents dont usually give their daughter to a guy who aint working and is unemployed
back home is a diff issue
...and as Dawud would say, Cold showers
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
Muslim Brother.
If your parents are willing to support you for 4 years (that is the duration of MPharm i think) then you should marry immediately, again IF they are willing to support you. This is if your wife is going to be from back home. The reason for parental support is because you will need them to help with your wifes visa application aswell as showing that you can fulfill the financial responsibilites while you study.
If you get married from here, your parents do not need to be prepared to support you provided you make an agreement with your wife and fatherinlaw that she will remain at her parental home until you call her. In this case you can marry freely and easily; financial issues rarely will come up if your inlaws agree to let you meet your wife whilst you are married. Your young age indicates the girl will also probably study or prefer to stay at her parents home for a few more years.
As you are doing MPharm it is highly likely that your visa application will be accepted and not rejected. Degrees such as MPharm, BDS, MBBS etc are viewed highly positiviely and it is likely that you will not experiecne any undue difficulty.
I advise you discuss with your parents your need to marry and arrange a time to go back home. In the meantime fast and establish yourself in deen, university is the devils playhouse and one must be guarded in their. Further marriage at such a young age will be beneficial for you and will help you concentrate on your studies aswell as giving you tranquility in mind.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
oh how true!!!
its good on your on your guard b4 u go, Inshallah im lookin forward to facing the challenges better this year
Wish me luck!
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
Good luck Haydar.
Stay away from the ladies and everything will be okay.
And drugs.
...
and alcohol, parties, credit card solicitations, drunk drivers, food poisoning, muggers, vengeful professors, cute professors, laziness, and bacteria in the showers.
hehehhehe.........fear not Big Dave, im gona put everything right and put ever1 in place :twisted:
....and if any1 dares giv me a flyer for free drinks on cheap nights at clubs.....im gonna let loose.... :evil: :evil:
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
lol
Fire and brimstone it.
"OHHH YE SHALT BURN ETERNALLY IN THE STEW THAT THOU HAST STIRRED FOR THINESELF, OH GOD LET THEM SEE THE WICKEDNESS OF THEIR WAYS LONG ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THY RIGHTEOUS PUNISHMENT THOU HAST BESTOWED UPON THEM - LET THINE WRATH BE THEIR PORTION!"
Yea Verily.
AMEN!!!
PREACH BROTHER!
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
lol there was literally a point last year when I was standing at a party holding a beer listening to this mindless twit of a freshman girl lecture me about how "cool" college is whilst all my friends ran off thinking this "hookup" is gonna work. (Long story there.. they don't like my girlfriend and are trying to get rid of her).
When I realized.
1. This is boring
2. Beer tastes really disgusting... and I feel sick
3. This girl's voice is the most grating high pitched shreek i've ever heard.
and 4. If my friends were to drown suddenly... humanity would not really be negatively effected.
Parties are pretty much a waste of time. There really are only two reasons to go to them, - to hook up and get drunk. When you don't really like the sensation that you are about to throw up at any moment, and you have enough integrity to not cheat on your girlfriend, they make pretty poor ways of spending your time.
That girl eventually threw up on my shoes.
Haven't gone to a party since then. I think that's just me growing up... one minute you're a stupid kid, the next you are a decently intelligent adult.
yes uni has its bad stuff, but alot of ppl turn to islam at uni aswell...so no, uni is not the devils playhouse!
about marrying young...
let me ask a question:
[b]a guy whos 17/18, like most hes immature, naieve etc...he cant think about nothing but girls and sex, lets say he gets married..is that going to stop him from not looking at girls, is that going to stop him not looking at nude magazines, is that going to stop him from chatting girls up, is that going to stop him from zina?[/b]
i wish i could say yes, but unfortunately the answer alot of the time is No...
I disagree with Ed here.
As long as he wants to get married Marriage should help him avoid the bad stuff.
Its not a guarantee. It may not stop him, but it will help.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Nah, about the only thing that is going to prevent guys at that age from not getting into girls alcohol and "fun" is to make it as little accessable to them as possible.
Parents have to keep a tighter watch over em - that's all that really can be done about it as far as I can see.
I don't think marrying em off is gonna accomplish much, if they can't follow God's laws before marriage, why would they follow em after.
Premarital sex is adultery same as having sex with somebody else after you are married right?
premarital = fornication.
extramarital = adultery.
Will it not help if he is married to someone?
I did say if he chooses to be married, and its his choice.
If its not obviously it will not make any difference.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Editor this is one of your posts which infuriates me!
Nikah is a sunnah, it is a protection against sin. Your problems with young men marrying is really totally unbelievable to me. Yes I do think nikah will help a great deal in preventing sin. The western concept of getting married later has poisoned your mind, even as it has poisoned your other thoughts aswell. Let me say I understand that certain islamic concepts are beyond you because you have grown up in the lap of secularism and have hence been trained in an alien way of thinking.
Nikah is a shield and protection. Your view that a 17/18 yr old wont behave even after marriage is a misconception. If he marries willingly then I see no reason for anything other than a happy home. Your view are indeed a grave sign of unclear thinking, I pray ALLAH illuminates the hearts. ameen
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
accusation after accusation, slander after slander, defamation of character after defamation of character....you madrassa has taught u well!
i simply asked a question!
i am not against people marrying young! I was looking at it from the other side..which alot of you are afraid to do.
i know many people who are married, young and old, and it hasnt stopped them from chatting girls up, flirting, zina and doing other dodgy stuff...
only an islamic minded young person with the right tarbiyyah will inshallah never do the stuff i mentioned after he's married...
young guys who want to get married young...all the best...and i hope marriage gives them all the required desires they are after...and keep sthem away from sin.
also, after marriage it is fardh upon the husband to provide the wife with a roof over her head, provide food, pay for her clothes and needs, pay bills for both of them, an dif she gets pregnant then be a good islamic father and upbring the child..etc and at 17/18 that is difficult..not everyone can turn to their parents....and its not good to say dad can u lend me a fiver so i can give it to my wife
Lol! your blatant attempts to malign me with accusation of slander are unfounded and collapse like a pack of cards.
I have made no slander on you nor an accusation so brother I advise you calm down. Alhamdulillah the madaris do a fantastic job.
Yes you did ''simply ask a question''. But why, may I ask, do you not mention that you ALSO ANSWER your own question. Please dont try spinning things and speak straight and truth.
It is apparent to us that those who wish to marry are doing it to protect themselves and are doing it because they have some islamic inclination. From an initial stance of hostility to the idea you have suddenly started giving your reluctant agreement and recognition. Alhamdulillah this I will take as a sign that my dua has atleast in part been effective and is having an effect. Now all of a sudden you are seeing that it may be a good thing. MashaALLAH I will continue to pray for you brother dearest.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
lol i agree with ed, marrying young is not goin to help a person financially, the Holy Prophet
has said if one has the "means" to get married then they should do so but if an 18 yr old who is still at uni and hasnt got a stable job how can he help his wife and later children? It causes a few probs, so in the meantime till the guy is finacially stable he should fast if he cant keep away from temptation etc.
what a load of cobblers...u accuse me of being polluted by western thoughts and secularism....that mr madrassah is accusations, slander and a lie!
i havent changed my stance sunshine...i know what islam says about it, i was highlighting real issues, real accounts of real people who did marry young but are still in deep sin. i never said one shouldnt marry young, i was highlighting the issues that relate an daffect when one marries young.
what a patronising little joker you are.
Your duaas are having an affect on me????
Mr Madrassah! Lol I like that.
Alhamdulillah it is true that your mind has been polluted with secular thought, your non-acceptance or acceptance of a fact doesnt make the slightest difference to the truth. My statement I am sorry to say was true, not slander or a lie nor an assumption. Your views merely prove my point. Alas.
Oh dear. You are still in denial about the change in your stance. It seems you are inclining back to your previous persona. Never mind my prayers for you shall become ever more fervent and zelous.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
the reality is that anyone who disagrees with you, your madrasah, your beloved TJ..you dont like it and you cant take it.... Your statements are true..
i rest my case...you are the truthful one the rest of us are misguided.
if i am polluted by seculat rhoughts, you are polluted by backward and out of date thoughts, brainwashed by your madrasah and yes BRO, you are damaging Islam..but the sad reality is you dont realise it and think you are fulfilling your duty
i feel sorry for you.
Yes I must be misguided because you say so. sighs
just for the record i am not with tj, as i have mentioned previously.
ed what are we going to do about your hostility?
Its not good to keep so many negative emotions, let them all out. pass your handsfrom your head to your toes and flush away all that negative energy.
you gotta chill dude. isnt that how you magazine is designed? all chilling and cruising and things?
for an ed of a youth magazine you are surprisingly sensitive but more worryingly uptight!
i LOVE this forum
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
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