I suppose you do end up crying on your wedding day

Automatically whether you say to yourself I won't, and the next thing you know you are crying! :shock:

Rice throwing and Petal throwing is BIDDAH. :twisted:

i dunno about biddah but isn't it highly disrespectful to stand on food, and waste it like that. My mother would slap me silly if i didn't clean my plate of every single rice grain, and my husband watches me like a hawk. So throwing rice i think it's a tradition that needs to go. I don't think God would be pleased with such disregard for food, especially when so many ppl are dying from a lack of it.

the rice throwing is just sooo wrong - any1 in their right mind can see that...some of these traditions really dont make sense at all :roll:

nothing wrong with throwing petals though

"muslim_kuri" wrote:

the rice throwing is just sooo wrong - any1 in their right mind can see that...some of these traditions really dont make sense at all :roll:

nothing wrong with throwing petals though

exactly-or confetti

some people like to throw coins- :?

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

some people like to throw coins- :?

thats a safety hazard that :roll:

Isn't throwing rice come from hindus weddings!

"Mez" wrote:

Isn't throwing rice come from hindus weddings!

dont know but where ever its come from its stupid (couldnt think of a better word)

cuz I remember in some films they do that when they show hindu weddings!

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

some people like to throw coins- :?

lol yeh I remember dat. One of my cousins weddings and when they were bringing his bride out of her parents home he gave his younger brothers bags of 20p coins and they were chucking em around. Shudda seen all the lil kids running to get their hands on what ever they cud . . .me included.

But what was really funny was watching the aunties who had nothing to do with the wedding, standing out in their front gardens telling their hordes of kids to go and get some rich pickings.

childhood is so nice.

havent really come across coin throwing....but i do know in pakistan they have the paki notes that they throw around and the kids jump to get them..

i find that rather funny..

i dnt care abt pakistan and what they do in their weddings.

"naj" wrote:

but i do know in pakistan they have the paki notes that they throw around and the kids jump to get them..

that just reminded me off when the groom sits and all the relatives go crazy with throwing money on him - i mean chill the heck out ppl we know u have money :roll:

erm talking about money...in benga weddings as the groom enters the brides house for the first time on wedding day there's a ribbon band blocking his way along with dozens of kids and also besharam adults women and men. They demand money they call it gate money. you must pay the gate or you can't pass the gate looooooool stupid. Anyways groom ends up pulling out money starting from a 100 quid and up. Then the kids are supposed to get to keep it, but crafty elders sometimes pocket it for themselves :roll:

duno what bengalis throw in weddings over here it's usually fresh petals, confetti, rose water...don't ask why..maybe the groom stinks, and immature kids pull out silly string :roll: They should try fish sticks everyone would dive for them don't you reckon.

"yashmaki" wrote:

erm talking about money...in benga weddings as the groom enters the brides house for the first time on wedding day there's a ribbon band blocking his way along with dozens of kids and also besharam adults women and men. They demand money they call it gate money. you must pay the gate or you can't pass the gate looooooool stupid. Anyways groom ends up pulling out money starting from a 100 quid and up. Then the kids are supposed to get to keep it, but crafty elders sometimes pocket it for themselves :roll:

duno what bengalis throw in weddings over here it's usually fresh petals, confetti, rose water...don't ask why..maybe the groom stinks, and immature kids pull out silly string :roll: They should try fish sticks everyone would dive for them don't you reckon.

LOL bout da fish wel i personally think weddinz r a loada crap i mean y cnt da guy n gal jus say yea n head 4 der wateva u wna call it i mean dats wat dey want init 2 b alone
so peepz shud jus lget it ova wid n let them b
n as for the rice, water,petals o wateva dey throw its hinduz tradition n no weddin dat iv been 2 has eva ad dat as far as i kno

"RuBz" wrote:

no weddin dat iv been 2 has eva ad dat as far as i kno

I totally agree, I have never seen that happen at any wedding accept in hindi movies!

"MuslimSister" wrote:

Rice I can understand is obviously wrong. However, whats wrong with the petals or the confetti thing?

I don't know the orgins of it..but I always thought it adds to the festivities.

I have seen confetti and petals thrown but not rice!

"RuBz" wrote:

wel i personally think weddinz r a loada crap i mean y cnt da guy n gal jus say yea n head 4 der wateva u wna call it i mean dats wat dey want init 2 b alone
so peepz shud jus lget it ova wid n let them b

then they should just elope and pay for their pwn wedding if they dont want involvment from others

"RuBz" wrote:

LOL bout da fish wel i personally think weddinz r a loada crap i mean y cnt da guy n gal jus say yea n head 4 der wateva u wna call it i mean dats wat dey want init 2 b alone
so peepz shud jus lget it ova wid n let them b

Aw come on now Every girl would want a perfect wedding.

"MuslimSister" wrote:

"RuBz" wrote:

i mean y cnt da guy n gal jus say yea n head 4 der wateva u wna call it i mean dats wat dey want init 2 b alone
so peepz shud jus lget it ova wid n let them b

Lol-Don't you think weddings are a family thing? Isnt it important to have loved ones at ones wedding?

yeah i know but like whats the deal in a girl gettin dolled up and sitting there for hers when all she has to do is say yes
ok i know it's nice to have family on a day like that but thats it i guess.

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

"RuBz" wrote:

wel i personally think weddinz r a loada crap i mean y cnt da guy n gal jus say yea n head 4 der wateva u wna call it i mean dats wat dey want init 2 b alone
so peepz shud jus lget it ova wid n let them b

then they should just elope and pay for their pwn wedding if they dont want involvment from others

wel i didn't mean it like that i'm just saying that it dont need to be so long and of course no one in their right minds would want such a beautiful thing to be done all alone of course they want to share it

"RuBz" wrote:

wel i didn't mean it like that i'm just saying that it dont need to be so long and of course no one in their right minds would want such a beautiful thing to be done all alone of course they want to share it

it may b worth mentioning here that Rubz has actually tapped into an Islamic point... the Nikah is literally the wedding contract, ideally it should be done with the girl, guy, their parents in a masjid along with the Shaykh/Qadi.

but culture has made this into a 'ceremony' of its own. nowadays the Nikah is done on a mic in a reception hall with 200 ppl chatting away, some half-listening, some not bothered...

in my opinion, this takes away the sanctity of the moment.

Islamically, the Walimah is a reception in which the entire extended family and friends can be invited to celebrate the taking place of the Nikah. and obviously it is funded wholly by the grooms side. but due to this cultural 'innovation' (dont particularly like the word but cant think of another at the mo) the bride's family ends up putting loads of money into their own 'Nikah reception'.

IMO if the bride's family wants to buy her nice clothes and jewellery for the Walimah, thats fine, or good in fact. but if they feel pressure to fund a reception for the Nikah itself, this has no basis in Islam and should not be encouraged.

"Aasiyah" wrote:

"RuBz" wrote:

wel i didn't mean it like that i'm just saying that it dont need to be so long and of course no one in their right minds would want such a beautiful thing to be done all alone of course they want to share it

it may b worth mentioning here that Rubz has actually tapped into an Islamic point... the Nikah is literally the wedding contract, ideally it should be done with the girl, guy, their parents in a masjid along with the Shaykh/Qadi.

but culture has made this into a 'ceremony' of its own. nowadays the Nikah is done on a mic in a reception hall with 200 ppl chatting away, some half-listening, some not bothered...

in my opinion, this takes away the sanctity of the moment.

Islamically, the Walimah is a reception in which the entire extended family and friends can be invited to celebrate the taking place of the Nikah. and obviously it is funded wholly by the grooms side. but due to this cultural 'innovation' (dont particularly like the word but cant think of another at the mo) the bride's family ends up putting loads of money into their own 'Nikah reception'.

IMO if the bride's family wants to buy her nice clothes and jewellery for the Walimah, thats fine, or good in fact. but if they feel pressure to fund a reception for the Nikah itself, this has no basis in Islam and should not be encouraged.

Thank you, you made my point clear but i just can't put things in islamic terms thats all

And yes tha walima is of course for everyone to attend and make a big deal of the whole new relationship

also, one point i forgot to make is that islamically, the Walimah reception must be done within 2 days after the Nikah. anything after that is just a 'reception' but not counted as a Walimah (tho ppl often do tht - have it like a week after and call it the Walimah).

"Aasiyah" wrote:

[u]also, one point i forgot to make is that islamically, the Walimah reception must be done within 2 days after the Nikah[/u]. anything after that is just a 'reception' but not counted as a Walimah (tho ppl often do tht - have it like a week after and call it the Walimah).

i did not know that...are you sure? is it mentioned anywhere.

"naj" wrote:

"Aasiyah" wrote:

[u]also, one point i forgot to make is that islamically, the Walimah reception must be done within 2 days after the Nikah[/u]. anything after that is just a 'reception' but not counted as a Walimah (tho ppl often do tht - have it like a week after and call it the Walimah).

i did not know that...are you sure? is it mentioned anywhere.

Quote:

[b]How many days?[/b]

The Hanafi jurists (fuqaha) are of the opinion that, a banquet up to two days will be considered to be a Walima, after which it will no longer be considered a Walima.

It is stated in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:

“There is nothing wrong in inviting people the next day after consummation or the day after. After that, marriage and Walima celebrations will come to an end.” (5/343)

from: 'The Fiqh of Walimas":
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=2792&CATE=10

i think its up to the couple

some opt for some big do's for the nikkah

some do it in the msoque with only few people

some do it in their home

once again-its a persons own choice