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I used to think 'in the pants' was a hilarous retort to anything people said to me.
Friend: Dude thats retarded.
Me: No, you're retarded... in the pants!
Friend: Wat? That doesnt even make any sense!
Me: (imitates friend) Wat? That doesnt even make any sense... in the pants!
Friend: :roll:
im 2 years old and go to "play" in my aunty and uncles room - i mess the room up; throw stuff around etc etc. aunty walks in.
aunty: what are u doing? (probably shouted at me rather than asked)
me: nothing
i go downstairs...
me: granddad aunty hit me!
granddad: where?
me: i don't know...
------
walk out of exam
me: what on earth is the formula for Nitric acid??
friends: i dunno!
me: i wrote NO2 :S
friend 1: me too
freind 2: i wrote "EN OH"...this was my though process - do i know the answer? NO so i wrote "NO"
-----
my aunty has leg pains and was having dificulty wlaking up the stairs
2 year old cousin: mum why are u walking like that?
aunty: i've gone old!
cousin: shall i tell dad to get married again, then, if ur old?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Why would you write the formula for nitrogen dioxide?? this joke makes no sense!
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
ermm that part's not supposed to be funny and its not a joke either
nvm.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
oh i thought it was meant to be funny! my bad! HNO3 btw!
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
(this was supposed to be the funny bit)
and tnx for the formula but my science teacher told us
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Me: Have you seen Avatar?
Friend: Yeah, it was good, wasnt it?
Me: yeah it was. Especially the 3D effects
Friend: I wish real life could be 3D
Me:
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
So when i first started wearingg my hijaab, i had some of the wierdest conversations,
A lad i've known since nursery, who is also muslim
him: is your head okay?
Me: yeah it's fine why?
Him: Oh because your wearing a hijaab innit,
Me: yes, shamraiz i am muslim
Him: But you have hair,
Me: Yes, Yes i do,
Him: STOP LYING TO ME< You've gone BALD HAVENT YOU?!?
Me: no, i haven;t
Him: Cum on eS you've known me since we were 3 you can tell me,
Me: I AM NOT BALD.,
Him: it's okay you know, like bieng Bald and that
Me: SHUT UP I'M NOT BALD,
Him: prove it,
Me: have the past 15 years of my life not been long enough?
HiM: wait you've bin alive 15 years?
me: erm......
had to LOL.
Some of the stuff people at work have come out with:
S: Which countrys Algeria from?
R: Are the conservatorys going to win the election?
C: Is there a Good Friday at Easter, like there is at Christmas?
S: What times my lunch?
C: well what does it say on the calender?
S: 1pm.
C: Right then.
S: so am i going at 1pm?
Back in BLACK
ME: *overhears Her complaining of hunger* you're fasting??
Her: yeah!
Me: YOUR MUSLIM!??!!
Her: yeah man! what do you think man?! im muslim man!
Me: ohh..
Her: what did you think i was man?
Me: euh..dunno...just didnt know you were hmm...muslim... >.>
Her: *turns to her friend* HEY!!! SHE DIDNT KNOW I WAS MUSLIM!! can you believe it!!
Both turns to me: what did you think she/I was??
That's about what happen every Ramadan...
How can i be so blind!!? i mean! the tight. see through top! the open, straighten hair! the tight trousers! She's OBVIOUSLY muslim, how could i even question this!??
Silly, Silly Lilly.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
But she's fasting. You're well judgemental.
LOL, my [adult] cousin once said "a giraffe is an elephant isn't it?"
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Damn right she was! Hence...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Not really, you only said that after trashing her.
Yep maybe i did trash her. But this WAS the way she was dressed
and i got humiliated in front of all for not straight away knowing she was muslim.
Why should i have been the one embarrased? I really dont get those role reversal...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
You didn't have top be embarassed! But you're pissed off that while you're devout and make all this effort she has some chutzpah, and that tension makes it a "funny and crazy" big deal for you, which it isn't.
Going off on then opposite in one of the places I worked, there was this non-Muslim guy who I thought was a Muslim - his friends were mostly Muslims, I have heard him discussing "Muslim" issues (can't remember what exactly) and he generally knew a lot about Islam.
Around one of the Eids I asked if he had managed to get the holidays booked off and that was when I found out. Made a stupid excuse of "oh, I KNEW you weren't Muslim but thought you may have just wanted the day off..." totally opaque and slimy of me.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
And these are all lawyers?
Scary.
You think she's non-muslim.
She thinks you're a man.
How did you come to the solution that you were opaque and slimey?
Whoah, I hope you two know each other!
i was gonna say that!!
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
S: Which countrys Algeria from?
Numidia
R: Are the conservatorys going to win the election?
I wouldn't want to prejudice the outcome
C: Is there a Good Friday at Easter, like there is at Christmas?
No
S: What times my lunch?
C: well what does it say on the calender?
S: 1pm.
C: Right then.
S: so am i going at 1pm?
No, leave as soon as you like, and take the rest of the week off.
Any more for any more?
took me a while to get that. Good one tho!
Don't just do something! Stand there.
My ex once asked me if a chicken counted as a mammal hahaha!
She clocked on strait away but its possibly still the dumbest question i've ever heard.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
from tribune:
00:52:34 ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE 00:51:55 i will bug u, i like doing so
00:54:14 Funzo 00:52:34 You will be disappointed to know that im not bothered by weirdos haha
00:55:36 ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE 00:54:14 cuz we understand each other right? its like weirdo-to-weirdo!
00:55:59 s.b.f 00:55:36 oh dear.
00:57:00 Funzo 00:55:36 whatever floats your boat! haha
00:57:32 ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE HAHA
00:58:36 s.b.f you two are scaring me.
00:59:04 ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE 00:58:36 weirdo's aren't harmful!
01:00:15 Funzo 00:59:04 really we arent!
01:00:33 Funzo is this what you call cyber bullying? if so i dont understand what the fuss is about!
01:01:05 ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE 01:00:33 LOL i know yeah!
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
lol no. All those gaffs were made by the admin people.
Please don't be offended anyone, my friends can be very immature. You probably won't find this funny, but i did xD
Me: It's really weird that say like Bosnian or Palestinian people right, can have really white people features, like fair hair, fair skin, light eyes, like in general and yet, there's something about them, that makes you certain that they're not white, they're something else. What is that something?
Ethan: *sniggers* the outstretched hand?
Mike: Shut up you racist *bad word* As if there are no poor white people
Ethan: yeah they don't beg though do they
Mike (who is white btw) : No coz then they'd have to get out of their armchairs, why beg when you can go on the dole
Ethan: Shut up, it's not just white people on the dole
Mike: Uhh, it mostly is?
Ethan: only coz there's more white people!
(Joe enters) Joe: hey guys, what's goin' on?
Mike: Oh this racist *badword* thinks that all Bosnians do is beg *rolls eyes*
Joe: Oh... I didn't know you were Bosnian Mike.
#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
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