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I think as principle people should remember: To understand is not to justify.
Do I think his mother did wrong? Yes
Do I think she had an excuse? No, there are things that there are no excuses for.
What I thought was, she somehow got 'cracks' and eventually the cracks joined up and brought 'the house' down.
So why did I feel sorry for her? In the end it was probably because Dave felt sorry for her.
The one thing Dave wanted more than changing his past, more than happiness, more than escaping this pain was to know WHY? To try and understand, and in the end he understood that whilst he was definately a victim, his mother was also some sort of victim partially a victim to herself. It was from his humanity that he pitied a person in pain.
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
I haven't read the book but I agree with what Dawud is saying. You can feel sorry for a wrongdoer without diminishing their responsibility. Responsibility is part of the mechanism whereby we train ourselves and one another to do what's best. We all know it isn't easy.
[size=10]The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.[/size]
[size=9]Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)[/size]
Sorry, i missed all that London thing back there.. But the INNER London (the City) atmosphere is different from OUTER London.. places to go, people to see.. £££
May Allah shine sweet faith upon you this day and times beyond. May your heart be enriched with peace, and may your home be blessed always. Ameen.
Even within inner London you get two types of areas....the deprived, run down areas (which is where all the asians live) and the posh, rich places.
There's a lot of money in inner city....however, its really difficult to work in the deprived areas and its not worth whatever they may pay you.
I just found it too draining... London is the City of all Cities... its the UK version of New York... its the Paris of England. But Inner City london is yyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... i dont know how to put that in words..... it just makes you really tired... and leaves you feeling a slight dislike for the modern world and technology... thats the best i can explain it.
Back in BLACK
I like central London, when i was little i used to go and spend some weekends or holidays with my aunty and uncle who lived there and my aunt would take me to the British History Museum, Hyde park and places like that. lots of fun.
however, we traveled on the tube!
travelling by car in London nowadays takes the mick. it takes hours to cover short distances because of the traffic, there's no barakah in time.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
Actually my mom had a much different upbringing, her mom was a lot like my wife or my mother in law, very nurturing and goodnatured, patient - motherly.
And I don't have a son... twin daughters, remember?
lol I loved doing all those things as a kid too., except in Charleston and Boston.. there's something to be said for enjoying all the convenient intrigues of a big city.
So I'm going to expand this question to what have I learned over my vacation (which I am still on).
I've really learned what a good healthy family lfeels like and it's the best thing in the world. Honestly when I learned annette's mother and father were coming I was afraid it would betray the more intimate things I had planned for just annette and me, and would kind of take away from the character of my first family trip as "the Dad." You know - making sure my daughters get to hug all the characters and planning all the little details to make them happy and enjoy this... just making it memorable.
BUT. Quite surprisingly, it's so much enhanced by their presence. My in laws actually stayed back at the hotel and watched our little girls while we went out just by ourselves a couple nights to enjoy some of the couples activities in Disney, and it is a thousand times more enjoyable being out alone knowing it is their grandparents and not some kind of employee looking over your kids.
The really interesting thing was that we are doing things together and it feels comfortable... like one night we all got back from an exhausting round at the Magic Kingdom and decided we just wanted to watch a movie for the evening - The Little Mermaid (really cute story btw), so here we are me and Annette curled up on the floor with isabella, my in laws on the couch with Olivia all watching this movie and it just felt right.
I'll tell you what, people complain about in-laws alot, but from my experience they are nothing but a blessing. This would be so much more difficult if I didn't have their parenting experience and interest in our kids lives that they provide... parenting mentors so to speak. This is pretty damn great
[b][color=indigo]Lol. You joker! They're talking about a book not you.[/color][/b]
i've learned that you shouldn't have cowboys applying the shariah especially when they fail to be fair in their judgements. Under Islam even illegitimate children have rights, they have a right to life. They have a right to be cared for emotionally and financially. Not however in Sudan did any of you hear this report it pulled my heart strings, it;s disgusting what's happening there. I'm aware of the punishments for adultery but i wasn't aware that you could punish innocent children coz of the mistakes of their parents? Even children of rape have rights in Islam, this is criminal!
here's the link if you missed it:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour/04/2007_09_tue.shtml
[u]"Khartoum Abandoned Babies"[/u]
When I compare what Muslims as a whole do against what tribulations Muslims as a whole face, I come to the conclusion we deserve everything we get and more.
Alot of Muslims do alot of disgusting things.
If we try to face the tribulations as a whole, we must also confront this ugliness as a whole.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I've learnt...
-I have to 'study' to get along with boys....I wanted to get along better with the boys in my class and had to learn about cars/football teams/playstation games and bikes.
-Sometimes you need to stand back to see the bigger picture.
-OCD can be genetic...but some people have a predesposition to it...also, it cant be fully treated without therapy.
-Ones needs, wants, priorities, ambitions etc change on a regularly basis.
Today I learned that professors do not like it if you take two weeks out of their classes without telling you them you are going to do so.
I also found out they can be massive twirps about the whole affair.
I also learned that alumni donations give you a lot of leverage to slap some reality back into said twirps.
Interesting...
Ya know I always noticed my mom has this thing about perfect right angles - she never says anything but she quietly likes to go around and stack things in perfect cubes...
I wonder...
So anyway - about that last bit, are you saying there is actually some kind of therapy that'l fix OCD?? What is it?! I took Lexapro for a while to get me around the germ thing but that's just the tip of the ice berg - I'm really driving people crazy with all my demands for symmetry, right angles and uber cleanliness, it would be kinda nice to get past all that...
Find something else to obssess about?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I tried that once.
I built 72 ships in bottles over the course of one summer, lost something like 20 pounds because I wouldn't eat and I stopped taking showers or leaving the pool house.
...that took a lot of counselling to back out of.
Regarding the genetics thing....I've been looking into this issue a lot, someone I know has OCD...when I found out that it can be genetic it makes sense cos her mum has it too.
Whats intresting is that, her mum has it in regards to OTT hygiene...whilst she has covert OCD.
And regarding therapy....you should really chase this up. Its far more effective than medicine (which'll just make you sleep a lot or make you worse).
Basically, people specialised in this field help you to 'fix' it...or at least live a life of normality with it...
They use a range of strategies...when it comes to OCD in the form of obsession with germs...they use confrontational strategies, you know...make you 'face your fears' - literally.
Basically, they can programme your mind to think that...however, badly you want to 'itch'....fight the feeling and dont give in.
Its very affective here in the UK.
It's funny you mention OCD, I did that in psychology last week.
Did anyone see this programme which was on tv a year or two back where a woman had OCD, she was obsessed with cleanliness and even couldn't eat crisps using her hands.
So she went into therapy where the guy basically did some crazy stuff to show the woman that a few [size=9]million[/size] germs can't do any harm. So he put his hand into a toilet and I think he may have licked his hand. The type of OCD where people are obsessed about cleanliness is all in the mind. So therapy tries to prove the mind wrong......I think.
I can totally understand that eating crisps thing.
THey leave your hands greasy. EI have to wash my hands with soap afterwards.
And if someone uses my PC when eating crisps... probably the only thing that can annoy me these days.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
[b][color=indigo]Eugh, that's disgusting!
My little sister also has OCD, she has to have all the door handles straight, all shoes in a straight light and all the remote controls neatley stacked on top of one another.[/color][/b]
Sort of. It is an exercise in conditioning and reinforcement through coercion and exposure (Rachman et al; Marks et al). Get someone who has a fear of germs to keep a handkerchief in their pocket, because they will have to deal with the fact that it is not always clean. In time they will be more receptive to touching doorknobs and toilet chains.
[size=10]The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.[/size]
[size=9]Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)[/size]
Most of the time I don't wash my hand (even without soap) after eating crisps. I will wipe my fingers with a tissue, on my clothes, lick my fingers or do a combination of the things I have mentioned.
What annoys me with people eating crisps and using my pc is the crumbs more than the grease. It's really annoying when the crumbs just fall into the tiny spaces between the keys on the keyboard.
I like to keep my room tidy so I put things in a straight line and spend time tidying up but because of the fear of me getting OCD I try and be messy sometimes so I haven't hovered my room for more than a week!......I bet someone will come up and say this is nothing, I haven't hovered my room for over a year!
Btw does anyone here walk around their house wearing shoes?.....I don't.
That is exactly why I stopped shaking hands with people - you just never know.
I wear shoes all the time, but our various different places, especially in Kiawah have a lot of marble flooring so it's no big deal, I'll jump into slippers if I'm planning on getting near carpetry.
i remember covering it in psychology too, in the uk they usually use cognitive therapy techniques rather than pills to get rid of the problem, it usually reduces it or completely stamps it out.
I don;t think it was genetic in my case it might have been my mother is crazy about keeping things clean, and i am also. i can spend an entire day cleaning once i get started. I love looking at cleaning products in the supermarkets..my husband always thinks omg move her away from their but how...
haha, you remind me of a friend of mine, she loves cleaning, she even keeps a febreeze in her car! :--D
May Allah shine sweet faith upon you this day and times beyond. May your heart be enriched with peace, and may your home be blessed always. Ameen.
i didnt realise how common OCD is :shock:
but to be honest
i could do benefit with a touch of OCD when it comes to cleaning :twisted:
i dont understand all these different psychotic 'disorders' and conditions etc, where is the line between being normal and abnormal? we are all individuals (i'm not!) and we're all different, so when does someone stop just liking tidiness and cleanliness and start being 'abnormal'?
how do we know that they're not the sane ones, maybe its the majority of us who are crazy?!
please clarify for me
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Aight hang on just a second, OCD is not a "psychotic" disorder. I don't run around knifing people because Harvey the rabbit told me to. There is at least a tentative connection between the behavior and the fear with OCD - unlike psychosis, where there is very often no connection.
OCD:
"I must wash my hands four times every 115 seconds using different bars of soap to keep the germs away."
Psychotic:
"One sunny evening I was eating noise when suddenly I realized something awful would happen in Denmark if I did stop the teletubbies from reaching the Empire State Building."
OCD actually has an anchor in brain physiology, chemical imbalances et cetera, just like a URI (cold) has an anchor in lung physiology. While some people might be really clean that crosses into OCD when you lose the ability to function as a consequence. For example I'm sure you wash your hands, let me rephrase that - I hope you wash your hands - often.
But you probably don't wash your hands until they bleed, or better yet spend a significant portion of your day washing your hands - see that's when people start to wonder if something might be a little bit off.
Symptoms
Obsessions or compulsions that cause significant distress or interfere with everyday life
Obsessions or compulsions are not due to medical illness or drug use
The person usually recognizes that the behavior is excessive or unreasonable.
if u have any of the above
then u have OCD
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