Try the 'I will not apologise' approach.

If it is something for which you will later back down, apologise, then don't.

I have kept my temper under control a few times when thinking 'Am I willing to break total contact with this person forever'.

Will not always work (especially if the person is a total stranger who you will probably never meet again), but it works with principles. It makes you appear strong to yourself. Sticking to your principles (even though that is total hullabaloo).

Ive learnt time doesnt heal all wounds.

"Seraphim" wrote:

Ive learnt time doesnt heal all wounds.

ive got 2 agree with u there, it just simmers down the anger, rather then bury it all together

n oh yeh, i learnt the phrase 'forgive and forget' really means 4 now i will pretend that i have forgiven you, but i will later punish u when u least expect it :evil:

"BabyD" wrote:

"Seraphim" wrote:

Ive learnt time doesnt heal all wounds.

ive got 2 agree with u there, it just simmers down the anger, rather then bury it all together

n oh yeh, i learnt the phrase 'forgive and forget' really means 4 now i will pretend that i have forgiven you, but i will later punish u when u least expect it :evil:

I think it is really down to the person.

For me, holding a grudge takes too much effort.

"Admin" wrote:

"BabyD" wrote:

"Seraphim" wrote:

Ive learnt time doesnt heal all wounds.

ive got 2 agree with u there, it just simmers down the anger, rather then bury it all together

n oh yeh, i learnt the phrase 'forgive and forget' really means 4 now i will pretend that i have forgiven you, but i will later punish u when u least expect it :evil:

I think it is really down to the person.

For me, holding a grudge takes too much effort.

holding a grudge?? 2 much effort???

i guess no1 has really 'knacked' u off

i don't really like to hold grudges....but surely there's a limit 2 how much sum1 will take???

dave how comes ur such a calm person online and such a aggressive person in real life?

u'll end up a very lonely and bitter man if u dont calm urslef down

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

dave how comes ur such a calm person online and such a aggressive person in real life?

u'll end up a very lonely and bitter man if u dont calm urslef down

Not sure... haven't figured that out

Playing football after about 6 months of inactivity can lead to sore limbs.

Playing cricket for the first time in a year or two the very next day is a bad idea.

/tries not to breathe too hard

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

dave how comes ur such a calm person online and such a aggressive person in real life?

u'll end up a very lonely and bitter man if u dont calm urslef down

The backspace button.

Seriously. I used to get seriously annoyed by some comments, start to reply and then think "this is taking to long to type out." If it took the same amount of effort to speak as it does to type, we would have a little more time to cool down.

Worked for me anyhow.

"Don Karnage" wrote:

that in my mind it's telling me that this is appropriate rage and it is different from my usual outbursts and that something terrible will happen if I don't do something.

Which of course is balogne most of the time.

...

thanks!

Been there, as the Sufis say "Self-justification is worse than the original offence."

Get your captain a new mug. Though not for the sake of getting your 4 months reduced. Get it him, even though he could well smash it against the door in revenge. Get him the mug and give it to him. (You can apologise and ask forgiveness or just do it silently, salute and walk away, in the context both are manly options.)

The mug will be an understanding between the two of you. Its up to you though to decide what it symbolises.

As for putting peoples eyes out. My religeon teaches me, if I have to fight, try to avoid the face if I can. Unless you're fighting a giant geometric shape, in which case avoid the corners!

Thank You.

Make sure the mug does not have the following inscription:

"I saw this mug and thought of you"

I would not apologise unless I had to.

I learnt that the majority of law students are habbitual backstabbing line crossers.

My friend told me so and i didnt believe him at the time. But he was right.... not all of them you will get the few who are nice down to earth type of people.

"Seraphim" wrote:

I learnt that the majority of law students are habbitual backstabbing line crossers.

My friend told me so and i didnt believe him at the time. But he was right.... not all of them you will get the few who are nice down to earth type of people.

[b]Hey![/b]

"Don Karnage" wrote:

"Seraphim" wrote:

I learnt that the majority of law students are habbitual backstabbing line crossers.

My friend told me so and i didnt believe him at the time. But he was right.... not all of them you will get the few who are nice down to earth type of people.

[b]Hey![/b]

Wot??

I did say some were okay. Then there are some who are a royal pain the a$$.

When I lead the big student rebellion, Voldemort here will be the first to go.

"Dawud" wrote:

The backspace button.

Seriously. I used to get seriously annoyed by some comments, start to reply and then think "this is taking to long to type out." If it took the same amount of effort to speak as it does to type, we would have a little more time to cool down.

Worked for me anyhow.

lol, you have no idea how many insensitive, probably bigoted and just plain mean things I begin to type when I'm really angry.

Now I'm not an insensitive (I hope) bigoted or just plain mean person, but generally speaking when I'm angry I want to hurt whoever got me angry by saying the meanest thing I can possibly think of, regardless of propriety or anything. Fortunately there is a "submit" button so while I'm typing I might be thinking "Yea!!! Go Dave!!!" I'll top just before the submit button, read everything again and usually think "what the hell is that?!"

lol actually sometimes it's funny because I'll think I'm making some grand highly pejorative but intelligent point and after rereading it - it is completely incoherent nonsense - a total rant.

Which is stupid.

I don't do that in person... at all, usually if somebody gets me that angry I'm ready to start throwing punches. But on the internet I get e-rage or something like that.

It's kinda messed up.

Now part of the problem is that people feel like they can say whatever they want to online, and certain touch points really bother me. Usually anything deliberately insensitive against my religion family or (when its unwarranted) country will set me off. In normal life people don't usually go around attacking such things about a person. But when everything is impersonal and you don't have to be held accountable for your words to a 220 6'3 luggish angry guy, people tend to get brave and say nasty things.

Interestingly enough it's actually kinda helped in the last few days talking about all this. I've not flipped out on malik once (coming very close a couple times) online, and I've had several situations in real life where I actually stopped myself, collected my thoughts and responded to people with words (intelligable ones) instead of force.

I actually apologized to my CO about the incident and bought him a new mug. He started to get pompous - which initially irritated me greatly but I stopped and realized that I guess that is to be expected since I did do something mean to him and he is a jerk and that's how jerks handle apologies so there is no point stressing about it.

I think I need an anger strategy book.

well done dave re: the improvement in anger management! keep it up, don't let this be a 'good phase'...

Another thing is actually typing.

Can people really type when in a rage?

"*DUST*" wrote:

well done dave re: the improvement in anger management! keep it up, [b]don't let this be a 'good phase'[/b]...

lol you've pre-empted me so now it looks like I have to keep it up.

Today I learned, from my wife, that Roman Catholics do not challenge the legitimacy or authority of the other Patriarchal Sees or Thrones.

does that mean your rant against the Pope that one time was like, blasphemous, or summat?

I don't recall ranting about any subject that would get me in trouble with my wife.

lol. i just searched for that thread, you regretted the rant afterwards and apologised for it...

Yea... but seriously, [b][i]I'm pretty sure[/i][/b] I never said anything like that.

I learnt there's no "I" in team. There's a "me" though, if you jumble it up.

I learned anger can be deferred - transfered from one event to another.

Unfortunately I flipped out on some people today based partially on some insulting comments from Tex on this forum. I bit my tongue here and reassured myself he's just crazy but these things tend to harp on me and I can't let them go. So there was like a triggering event - some moron took a verse from the bible and perverted into this vicious anti-Christian attack - and that was enough for me to fly off into psycho rage land.

I went on a bit of a tirade and now my blackberry is floating in boston harbor.

Which is A-okay considering it's e-Slavery and I never want another one again...

Live and learn! Apparently I can't ignore things that get me angry, I just need constructive ways of dealing with it. Somehow I don't think oragami is going to work with me, my fingers are way too big and it would drive me crazy...

I'm starting to get the feeling the only thing I'm good for is fighting people for this that or the other purpose.

Damnit I'm learning more coming home from class than I am in class!