However, for some reason my niceness never extends to my siblings...
i actually found this comment of MuslimSis' quite interesting, couldn't reply to it in that thread as it would've been off-topic and it's probably deserving of its own thread anyway, so...
why is it that we are so nice to a complete stranger, yet harsh with our siblings? maybe not harsh, but just not as 'nice'? how many of us have no problem hugging our friends but when it comes to siblings, thats just awkward. 
in other words, why is it that we go out of our way to be nice to everyone outside our home, yet cannot bring ourselves to be like that with our immediate family members? is it part of the informality of home life, or just downright rude?
if you make some sense of my rambling, feel free to contribute... 
[color=magenta]me n my older sis have had this discussion over and over again , basically what we have come up with its that with our family we are harsh because we knw at the end of it are family will take it cuz they'll be there 24/7 with also because they are there 24/7 they knw how to tick you off and knw ur strong and weak points therefore we are harsher towards family members
n the thng bout hugging n kissing ur bros n sis erm we dont do it in our family i dont knw i find it so hard to do it, i fink i only just allowed my older sis to link arms not out of affection but for fun,(but i know my sis does it cuz she loves me) its also hard to apologise when us bros and sis' when we have arguments i knw its really bad you knw that saying blood is thicker than water, but its just the fact that we knw our family will be there no matter what but then dat shud mean we treat them nicely, the only time we hug n kiss eachother well me n older sis is to annoy the other but we do show affection in other ways
but i knw for a fact if someone touched my bros or sis il be there for them no matter wat unless they were in the wrong, n theyll do the same., we are a close family but we dont like showing affection[/color]
[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]
ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
That was beautiful....
If i could cry... i would pretend there was something in my eye.
Back in BLACK
The answer as far as Im concerned is simple. We put on a show in public with strangers.
That show cant be maintained at all times and its only when we are at home or with those that are close that the real us comes out.
Some of the Sahaabah Karaam alayhim ridhwaan asked Ummul Mu'mineen Aisha radhiyallahu anha to the effect that how is the Nabi salallahu alayhi wa sallam when He is at home? Ummul Mu'mineen radhiyallahu anha replied quite simply that He salallahu alayhi wa sallam is the Quran and that His character is consistent.
To put on a show for others is possible but its only when you spend time with a person that you really know what they are like.
In regards to the above incident many ulama have written essays about this narration.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
[i]"Apraise a country by its reputation and a companion by his companion."[/i]
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
I take my family for granted for some reason…whilst I can be really patient with outsiders; I lack patience with my sisters because I KNOW that they should know better.
My sister was born when I was two and her cot was placed in my room…ever since then she’s been in my face, I can’t help but get annoyed with her at times but at the same time she’s one of my bestest friends and I’m extremely loyal when it comes to her..
I’m not very affectionate with her…but that’s only cos she doesn’t like mushy, lovey dovey stuff, by nature she’s very blunt…so our way of showing affection to one another is by arguments and insults….if that makes sense. :?
I am good to my sisters…but I lack patience with them at times.
My brother is a completely different story though…I’ve never got on with him, when we were younger he’d beat my little sister up and would grass me up to mum/dad whenever he’s see me without my hijaab on, also his lazy attitude bugs me…so cos of that we’ve never really been close.
It easier to be nicer to those who your not with 24/7, people who live with you try out your patience…niceness is easier in small doses.
this topic isnt applicable to me as I'm nicer to my siblings then i am to outsiders
family loyalty all the way
I only get on with my sis, the rest ie my 3 bro's we argue so I just make sure they stay out of my way, however my wee bro has his moments when he feels like comin up to me and huggin me and kissin me...(esp when he needs money!).
It's weird though, my sis is married now and she comes over regularly, and when she tells me to do somethin I just do it, but b4 her marriage I was like "do it yourself". I guess I miss her loads hence be nice to her.
Family is a blessing.
[color=magenta]hey im actually nice to my bros n sis' i make my bros loads of cups of teas and i do their ironing make them food n i dont complain and i offer to clean their ears for them [/color]
[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]
the perfect sister
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
i used to be like that-i used to be my sisters shadow and did whatever she told me to do
but then i stopped being such a doormat when i hit 17/18
Thats V true.
Im more nice towards strangers than my siblings.
Prob cos i know them too well and know what their like in general, & strangers are strangers so its natural to be nice towards them.
Also depends how your siblings are towards U.
If my elder sis is prone to arguments i'd prob not B as nice to her as to my others, its harder so have to put in alot of effort to B nice.
However my 18 year old bro can get on my nerves, but got some kind of attachment with him so try not to get in his way.
The reason why we are so nice to strangers as opposed to siblings is coz with siblings we have nothing to lose, you know they will forgive and forget plus its the job of one sibling to annoy another and vice versa. With someone who is a stranger you dont knw how they would react so its just normal to behave in a nicer manner to them....thats my theory anyway
my brother is so nice, he's the best
does anything for us.....im sat here on the pc and i jus got tea and biscuits served to me
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
None of my siblings makes me tea
...unless I do something back in return.
I'm only nice to my bro when he does me a favour. So if he lets me play on his ps2, I'll be nice with him. That's the way it works for me.
[color=magenta]i used be a real cow though before i found any excuse to fight with my bros n sis' i used to always fight wiv my older brothers n when they touched me i punched them n then cry so they used to get told off by dad so i won both the battle n war, n wiv my sisters i used to treat them like rubbish my fave word was "whatever" used to use at the end of it the of each sentence, but now i knw my brother probz play punch me on my arms cuz they love me lolz hope they aint reading this but i fink all of us grew up n realised we cant treat other like that, n we are really close i can go to my older sis for anythng and we have that level of understanding, recently someone started a rumour abt us n i cleared it up wivb my bros n sis n told the rumour spreaders strait, but i knw of some sisters who rip chunks of hairs of eachothers astagfirallah i wouldnt to dat to another human being let alone family memebrs [/color]
[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]
i definitely think your right there exquisite, as siblings get older....they realise the importance of getting on
after all, when ur old and grown up, if your family aint there for ya, who is gona be?
our youngest is 15....a lil sabr and as time passes, he'll soon realise that its not worth getting hotheaded over little things
me and my bro who made me tea last nyt, as kids we were enemies and i'll be honest, he beat me up every day.......but now were best friends....jus takes a lil time and growing up
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
Haha your lil bro beat you up
Couldn't you tell your parents?...or were you scared that they might say you're a wimp :twisted:
True.
Cant believe how daft we kids were in the younger days. We used to B
really petty and argued like mad. Like when we all sat as a family to eat sehri my bro will B like pass me the milk to my sis, she'll say get it yourself then they'd start having a fight from there and my sis will end up crying and locking herself up in the bathroom.
My dad would get really mad, lol that was olden days....
We still at times discuss how stupid we were and cant stop laughing...
Get along now as nearly all are married.
My sis once hit a spray can on my head ouch :evil: also my bro nearly broke my arm, it was in a bandage for a few weeks...they got told off by mum and dad big time...its funny when I look back at it but to be honest cant rember much coz I was so young!
Angel
You seem to be like a punching bag...didn't you beat your bro/sis?
My sis bit me on me arm, still got the mark to prove it
I tried to knee my bro and hurt me knee 2 days before my driving test...but still managed to pass it
My sis is 4 yrs older than me and my bro is 3 yrs, not strong enough to beat them up!
I don't blame my sis for beatin me up coz I used to be an annoyin teenager, but my bro hes just an idiot we don't get on much...I appreciate and love my sis more, have done so for a few years...
When me and sis became close we use to be in a team and beat my bro's up together it use to get nasty!
SHOW OFF
EDIT
haha you've just triggered my memory.
Me and my bro once rushed my older sis, she was crying :twisted:
rushed :? what the hell does that mean?
Do you know how sad it is to beat up a girl!!!
Rushed is another way of saying when to suddenly attack someone in large numbers (in my case 2)
If girls can beat up boys, what's the problem in boys beating up girls eiiii
Where's the equal opportunity :roll:
That's got nothing to do with equal opportunity :roll:
A guy is more stronger than a girl hence he can do more damage...
It's alrite for girls to hit boys (I've been a victim :oops: and they hit so hard). When I hit my sis I don't use all my force as girls do.
A guy can do damage according to their age, so a 5yr old boy can't do more damage then a 20 year old female would so there
Its true, but thats a debate for another time.
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
You may say that but a guys punch is bloody sore even if a light force is applied...
As for the above example what you talkin bout? :?
Punching!
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