Salamz to all
this is a very fun site you have here. I spent most of my lonely nights viewing all the threads. (I'm living away from home on campus 
). I have a problem, I posted once before about my brother being addicted to coke who now takes stronger substances. It makes me mad that his freedom hasnt been taken away from him but I am watched like a hawk.
I have fallen in love with a guy at Uni and badly want to get married to him, the problem is that he's Pakistani and I'm bengali so my parents are strictly against this marraige.
I don't care what happens I will only get married to him, I'll even run away if I have to. But I rather not do it this way. My desi parents are trying to set me up with bengali guys in my family, I try to cause a scene whenever they come to my house but they still wish to marry me.
I don't know what to do, I've been stuck in this dilmena for over three years now. I'm getting desperate and serioulsy thinking about running away. I hate the W****** that my parents try to set me up with, if I had my way I'd poisen the tea and biscuits.
I think I should just run away that way they'l be forced to accept it. My older sisters did this and they eventually came to terms with it. But I don't want to hurt then the way my sisters did either.
PLEASE HELP, ANY ADVISE OR SUGGESTIONS WILL BE APPRECIATED.
u know ramz i know what you going through is hell, all i can do is pray for u inshallah may things be easy for you. i couldnt advice you enough because it would be funny that i cant take that advice myself, no-one can hurt they parents i know its really hard. im in a dilemma myself but cant see such anyway out of it.
p.s have you tried talking to your parents you like this guy.
sorry ramz but I cant give much gud advice on this issue. It is a tough one. What I will say is keep making dua to ALLAH, that He makes things easier on you.
I think the fact that you being vocal and saying NO is proof that you are seeking the means to NOT marry those bengalis, you have adopted the means atleast, leave the rest to ALLAH.
I understand about not wanting to hurt your parents, and I cant say you should hurt them, but life is about pain and happiness. People who think about others all the time end up losing out, trust me, I KNOW.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
[quote="Ramz"]Salamz to all
Y wat is ur brother takin now PEPSI!!!!!!!!
no, sorry sorry. i think u shud forget bout da guy u hav fallen in luv wid.
do it.
I mean, he's probably ugly NEway and therez no point going against wat ur parents think.
ALLAH (SWT) sayz in da Holy Qur'an, even if ur parents tell u something (wich iz obviously not against islam) but u dnt agree wid den u shud still
and dat doesnt mean marrying smeone u hate it jus meanz nt marrying da guy ur in luv wid.
Humko kiske gham ne mara ye kahani phir sahi
PRINCE, keep your dum arse advise to yourself. You don't know what it feels like to be in pain over someone. He is not ugly and parents don't always know everything.
Thanks for your post Med and Naj I have spoken to my parents, but they are uneducated desi's stuck in their ways. But don't worry I won't stop fighting for him. He's worth the trouble.
Ramz... sis... what can i say?? So i'll start with
[b]WAKE UP WOMAN!![/b] If this was a test you'd be failing miserably.
Fortunately we're here to help. And by 'we' i mean myself and the crazy monkey that lives under my bed.
In regards to your brother i suggest you check out the revival article 'Eid not Weed' theres some useful info on there that may help your bro kick the habbit. I know only too well how hard it can be to kick a difficult habbit and can tell you it aint gonna be easy.
Just a few questions... (i'll prob get flamed for even asking this but what the hell) Q. Does this guy feel the same way? If yes then why dont his parents ask your parents for your hand in marriage?? If you dont know... dont you think you should ask him?
Running away is perhaps [b]THE MOST STUPIDEST IDEA EVER[/b] right after the invention of poptarts. Running away doesnt solve diddly...DIDDLY DIDDLY... DONE-DIDDLY-DOTIOUS! In fact it can even blow up in your face MAJOR style. Lets just say i know someone who tried this method... not a pretty sight. If you do things the wrong way you'll gain nothing but greif.
Now pay attention. As with all things theres a right way a wrong way... and the Max Power way(which is the same as the wrong way but faster). Running away = WRONG! Your willing to shove your parents aside (who love you since you were born, and will continue loving you till they die) for a guy. I understand that you 'love' this guy, but taking the wrong path may seem easy and perhaps you will find happyness quickly... but in the end it will fall apart and result in nothing but tears. Take the right path and it will be difficult (i sh*t you not) you will fall many times, there will be tears and saddness but in the end victory shall be yours.
The right path: win over your parents. Stay strong, repeat 'NO' to any proposal, insist that it has to be this guy. But most importantly than that what the hell is the guy doing?? Get him to get his parents to ask for your hand. If he says anything other than yes or okay then obviously he dont feel as strongly about this as you do.
Bottomline: Your parents may seem harsh, or even against you at times but they will NEVER do anything intentionally to hurt you. Infact everything they do is bcoz they love you and want to see you happy. They're setting you up with other guys bcoz they believe them to be a better match for you, they just dont want it ending in tears.
Back in BLACK
UR life isn't an indian movie YAAR!!, DAT UR JUS GNNA RUN AWAY.
i mean think bout it, ur going to be losin more den gainin. and jus say after u run away dis guy dumpz u, hw u gnna go back to ur parentz.
SO RUNNIN AWAY IZ NOT IN THE QUESTION.
DATS Y I TELL MY FRIENDZ TO STAY SINGLE.
Humko kiske gham ne mara ye kahani phir sahi
You're in love with this guy? Are you sure?
Do you really know him?
How long have you known him?
Do you think he loves you back?
Is he of good character?
Is he worth the hassle?
Is he husband material?
Are you just using him as an excuse not to get married to your parents' choice?
You don't have to tell me the answers to these qs, but have you asked yourself these qs?
No matter how tru this is Prince... you'd be surprised how many people resort to this. They claim to be in love and yet are unwilling to stay and fight to the end.
Love is a game for the strong, not the weak of heart.
Back in BLACK
[quote="Ramz"]PRINCE, keep your dum arse advise to yourself. You don't know what it feels like to be in pain over someone.
HAI HAI, WAT PAIN, i can feel it here in my room. NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHE.
Humko kiske gham ne mara ye kahani phir sahi
Dude you dont throw salt on another persons wounds.
not kool
Back in BLACK
Humko kiske gham ne mara ye kahani phir sahi
Im not the one you shud apologise to.
Back in BLACK
1- you need to answer irfghans qs and really think about them. only you know the answers. any doubts and you know there is trouble. dont mask the truth because you may be scared of being without this guy. think long and hard about it.
2- you say yr sisters were in a similar situation. have you discussed this with them? what have they said? maybe they could speak to your parents.
3- there is no harm in looking at yr parents choices. you may be adamant this guy is right for you, but only god knows the plan he has in mind for us.
4- do you have any influential cousins, uncles, aunties you could speak to? once you discuss this with them could they speak with yr parents?
a similar thing happened to my family. my cousin went away for one night. she came back, her family agreed. the guy ended up punching her dad. s**t happens. sometimes parents are right. you forget they have had life experience and only want what is best for you.
as a result our family became closer and issues that were important before, were irrelevant as a result. they are more open to us choosing our own partners now if they are suitable.
even though yr sisters did the same have they not changed?
fizzzzz
Isnt that what i said... except with bullet points and a can of pepsi being opened at the end?
Back in BLACK
salaam
prince be a lil sensitive.
and i must say i totally agree with seraph. wat ever happens ur parents have loved u and cared for u longer and no were not trying to give u the guilt trip. dont runaway as u dont know wats around the corner for u
and at the end of the day ull get more reward for listening to ur parents which personally is alot greater than being with the one u love in this duniya.
May Allah(swt) give u sabr and strength and help guide u on the right path Ameen
oh and sum guys make up alot of stuff before they are married and then they completely change and i sed only sum so brothers dont get defensive i have seen it with my own eyes.
i expanded on the points.
and its not pepsi, its sprite
fizzz
To each his own... [size=9]silly girl... stealing my posts... telling me what to do...[/size]
I dont suppose its occured to you Ramz that love is not simply about possessing someone, but simply an ackowledgement that you care more for some1 else than for yourself. With this in mind... what do you think your parents feel??
Dont think im cussin you, im simply pointing something out which you prob havnt thought of. Thats what comes with wisdom.
Back in BLACK
wow seraph we are modest
ARGHHHHHHHHH! they were diff points!
runing away is not the answer. Yeah not all parents know their kids well enough but they are your parents at the end of the day an theyl always be there for you no matter what. You really need to ask yourself an be realistic do you really love this guy and is he right for you. There are alot of people who think they are in love but in fact its not love, you need to be absolutely sure hes the one. Try talking to your parents, make them listen, tell them how you feel about him, tell them about him and his family to assure him that he is a good, decent man. Pray every night to Allah almighty to give you guidance and strength. You say this is been going on for 3 years maybe its a message from Allah almighty that its just not meant to be. Only Allah almighty knows our kismat.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
You mean bullet points.... that dont count....
Back in BLACK
they were different points as well as expanding on yrs. read again.
full stop. :evil:
Those are 2 contradictory statments.
How can you say "its not meant to be" and then say "Only Allah almighty knows our kismat" ... shes all ready confused... she'll prob resort to eating nothing but cake and ice-cream now.... {if only we could all do that sigh}
Back in BLACK
... and jelly beans.
it not contradictory, i'm not trying to be 1 sided thats all, im tryin to see it from both sides. Everybody so far is dead against and is sayin no that she should listen to her parents and forget the guy.
Nobody can really tell her what to do, only she can decide what is right. Nobody can really truly understand unless they have been in that suitation.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
hhhmmm chocolate cake with ice-cream and sprinckles of jelly beans.... aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh
...
ive really gotta lay off the sugar.
Back in BLACK
I think you should talk to your sisters (as fizzy1 said) ur parents came to terms with them marrying of thier own choice, so InshaAllah it will b Ok.
' Nay, verily! With me is my Lord, He will guide me ' {2662}
ok now you really do sound like a girl
since when do u guys worry bout what you eat lol
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
As soon as you start acting like a derranged 5 year old.
Im normally a very mellow person... sugar makes me hyperactive.
Back in BLACK
thats funny! yeh you can tell he has too much sugar, permanently hyper. thats why im called fizzy.
what happened to your sisters? how did your parents come around about them? are they on good terms now? have you spoken to yr sisters yet?
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