Salaam
(Another rant…bear with me please).
I believe in a certain sets of ideals. I’m can be stubborn at times…unless someone presents a strong/logical argument opposing my beliefs I won’t change what I believe.
At the same time, it doesn’t bother me one bit if one does/doesn’t think in the same way that I do.
Whenever I present my argument and people choose to accept it- its all good but if they don’t I’m not one to lose any sleep over it…
However, in my town which consists of nosy, busybodies who love to get involved in everyone else’s business….I’ am regularly hassled.
There’s a large number of ladies who are affiliated with a certain Mosque…they’re harsh and hold strict and rigid beliefs. It doesn’t bother me what they believe in..
What DOES bother me is the fact that they do my head in.
Literally every other day my mum is hassled on the phone by these ladies who are telling mum to “control her daughter” and to “stop her from attending the Mosque she goes to”…they tell her that “she is going astray and must change her misguided beliefs”….they tell mum she's bringing her kids up wrongly..I wish mum wouldn’t answer the phone.
Regularly these same ladies come to my house to “knock some sense into me”…I make it so that I am never home when they come and see me.
I do not wish to get into which beliefs of mine they have issues with-that’s irrelevant.
The only point that I wish to raise is-What on EARTH does it have to do with them? If my own parents don’t have an issue with what I do, what I believe in, what Mosques I’m affiliated with etc-what’s it gotta do with a bunch of ladies who don’t even personally know me?
So what, if I hold a different aqeedah to them? How does this affect their life in any way?
When I went to visit family in Manchester a few weeks ago, a bunch of girls that my cousin introduced me to had serious issues with the beliefs that I held….I had serious issues with what they believed in as well….But I didn’t knock for them daily and pester them to come out with me…I didn’t call them up 24/7 on their mobile….I didn’t accuse them of committing Kufr/blasphemy nor did I tell them to “renew their shahada”….yet they in their zeal to reform me wouldn’t leave me alone.
I have nothing against difference of opinions, I have nothing against people refuting what I believe in and presenting their arguments in a logical and calm manner…..but I can’t stand people who try to force their beliefs down other people’s throats.
Other then this beliefs issues, why do some people think they have a right to dictate to others how they should be living their life?
I get people telling me what course I should be doing/what I should be wearing/who I should be associating with/what books I should be reading/whose circles I should be attending/where I should be working etc etc….I get enough of this from my own family, what right does some third party have to tell me what to do? Its so unbelievably stifling at times….
Yeah one should take such things in from one ear and out the other, but it’s so in your face sometimes….I hope I never grow up and become a annoying aunty.
Anyways, feel free to add your comments on the rant above.
Wasalaam
i feel just like you Muslim Sister and have on occasion had to cite surat Kafiroon. i too was sick of the continuous onslaught of certain types of women to the point where i was questioned on my beliefs over the phone by someone i'd only met once!
i think she gave my message to the others and that group has avoided me but still stare at me with a kind of disappointment
i feel that ple should keep to their own beliefs and not impress them on me or others. i feel sad at the amount of young ple being harrassed into hard line dry beliefs
if you want to do dawah then give it to non Muslims thats what i say. if you are imparting knowledge then at least have the decency to say which group you are affiliated with.
i'm not ashamed to say that i think there should be more women like you Muslim Sister who have the middle approach to deen and in my books are spot on
salam
Def!
Yet many waste their time in trying to convert the converted.
Mum annoys me more by listening to them women. She hasnt got the heart to tell them to mind their own buisness.
There are girls out there who are getting up to extremly dodgy stuff. Everyone is aware of this...yet the ladies in my town have more of an issue with what Mosque I attend.
thats cos they are worried about the truth of their own akeeda. they think how can this great girl who we want all our dgters to be like follow another akeeda?
rather then face the truth and be like you they want to confirm and affirm their own beliefs by making you join them
LOL-ur too sweet seems
but i doubt thats tru tho-I think they just hate her for some reason :twisted:
but that dont stop them from sending their daughters to our house :roll:
when u hate and cuss someone so much u shouldnt expect stuff from them
wow i feel for u MuslimSister...i dont know what i would do if i was always hassled like that. i guess because i live in a small town where everybody knows each other+nearly everyone follows the same aqeeda has its good points after all!
but seriously i pray that all these annoying, rude, in-your-face people leave you in peace!!!
Salam
Its ok. You sound good.
Omrow
Salam
I dont think we ought to be preaching to others.
Its parents job to preach to their kids.
We should treat adults as adults.
Its bad manners to patronise, especially with women. They hate being told things. They love to make men think that they know everything. Let them, I say.
Omrow
preaching has many ways.
We must not patronise, but it is Fardh kifayah to preach.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Salam
I dont think so boss.
We are required only to invite people towards the Truth; not dress them down !!
Omrow
inviting people is also preaching.
Preaching has many means.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Salam
I dont think so boss.
If I invite a friend home for lunch, am I preaching ?
Omrow
Depends what you do and talk about. And the reason for inviting them round.
And why the sudden calling me boss?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I find sometimes that these "busy body" women tend to go around bothering other people about their kids and dont seem to be giving much attention to their own kids, even tho half the neighbourhood knows what they get up to.
Some people call it "loveing your kids no matter what" i call it hypocritical BS.
Back in BLACK
Maybe if you explained to them why you believe what you believe (with relavant backing of hadith etc) then maybe they would leave you alone.
lol, i do that. I justify everything i do by referring to some hadith or some story about the holy prophet(pbuh), and people back off thinking: Damn, how can you argue with that?
Obviously im not gonna do something terrible and try to get away with it by refering to a hadith etc...
That would be wrong on soooo many levels.
If you're not doing anything wrong, explain to them, as they're older than you they may be a little arrogant but youre gonna hav to break thru that to show them the light.
Go get'um sis
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
It may be that these woman are acting on the command to enjoin the good and forbid the evil.
Clearly they are not saying this stuff because they want to destroy you but in their own minds they are thinking that they are doing a good deed by encouraging you towards what they perceive as good.
I dont know what they are saying to you or what exactly is going on but just saying that from their point of view they probably would say that they are acting on verses encouraging the believerr to encourage mankind towards virtue and prevent them from vice.
Perhaps if Lady Muslima explained to the ladies concerned that your approach disturbs me, explain in a softer or calmer way and I am willing to listen. Perhaps the woman concerned do not know that their method of instruction disturbs you?
Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.
she has BARE times-
but they're thick skinned-and dont get the message
she'd also told them not to be so harsh
she's also told them to make room for diff of opinions and respect her beliefs
but if she just told them to "mind their own buisness and worry about their own tarty kids" problem would be solved
and Garfield that was a great post
Salaam
Lol-Seema you’re too kind…but I doubt that’s the reason, I think they just have it into for me for some reason-its weird though…..couple of years ago when I was a non-Hijaaban and used to cross over the road whenever I used to see them so that I wouldn’t have to make small talk….. they all loved me?! Yet as soon as I join a rival mosque I suddenly become their worst enemy.
And its true that, no ones likes being told what to do.
I know people have every right to preach to others, but they can say it once, twice- three times max (nicely!) and then they should just leave it…..doing someone’s head in 24/7 is wrong….there is no compulsion in religion.
Mum doesn’t agree with the issues they have with me….so they accuse her of being “brainwashed” by her daughter?!!.....it bugs me so much when people say stupid things like that…mum isn’t a simple lady, she’s an educated woman…if she was the type of woman who listened to absolutely everything I said to her…she’d tell them ladies to mind their own business and worry about their own daughters…just like I’ve told her to…but she doesn’t she spends so much time on the phone listening to them.
Wasalaam
deep down they have the problem and i do believe they are scared of something its just hard to find out the reason,
they clearly i gather want you to be like them - to join them. do they think your soul is in jeapordy, do they feel your akeeda corrupts their dgters what?
it would be interesting if a little weary for you to get to the bottom of this. they need to be asked what the problem is then they need to stop - i'll come and heavy hand them for you if you like cos i dont like the sound of them harrassing you its not on!
They think that I'm on the road to hell and said that there is a sickness/blackness in mine and my mums heart...
Mum asked them where they acquired this knowldedge of the unseen.
I don't think that they are worried about me "corrupting their daughters aqeedah".
I dislike contoversy- so I'd never in a million years preach something to someone's daughters knowing that their mothers have a serious issue with the topic.
But I do preach Adab, making room for differences of opinions and how wrong it is to condemn/call others names etc.....and my lectures always have elements of Sufism in them....how to better your selves...in the hope that maybe via the daughters some sort of message may go their mothers.
I'm cant mouth of to my elders...however much they bug me...I somtimes think that maybe this is why they are taking advanatge and getting away with hassling me so much.
thats not a bad idea seems
come and sort them out and I'l be ur back up :twisted:
dont tempt me lilsis all my sufi tendencies will turn to dust with physical violence and loud shouting
but this has even made me more madder your sis says they say that she has a black heart well that is really too much
if i lived nearer i really would be down there right now
ple are so stupid to say the least and yes it is one of the signs of qiyama saying what is right to be wrong and claiming the truth is a lie
i should hang in there and i would actually try converting the dgters to the sufi way you'll be doing them a great favour in my opinion!
i feel even from being a very small child we should be taught this in order to understand our deen better, to be better human beings and be more tolerant. furthermore once we have this knowlege our thirst for Islam grows and our love for Allah and his Messanger(pbuh) also increases and those who oppose this are indeed misled and terribly mistaken
If you think that doing a person’s head in/condemning etc is bad.
Some in their zeal to conform and “subdue” individuals would even go as far as getting their sons on that persons’ case.
Some are willing to lose their morals and integrity in the process.
Maybe they think that the end justifies the mean.
in my town either people EXTREMLY love her or they EXTREMLY hate her
u cant just be on a level with her
mum told her last night that she needs to learn to take the good as well as the bad
even though the "good" and the "bad" are at opposite extreme sides
deleted
Thanks yash.
It’s not that much of an issue what they say to me…cos I don’t personally know them so their opinions mean nothing to me….to me, their just a massive source of annoyance.
But its what they say to mum bothers me more…its her who has to listen to their crap. She’s a soft woman with a sensitive temperament and shouldn’t have to be listening to people blamming her on her phone and telling her what a bad mother she is…
Maybe I should pay them a visit and say to them nicely that if they have any issues with me they should address them directly to me and not inconvenience mum in the process?
I belive that ONLY the immediate family have a right to tell a person what to do and what not to do
everyone else in the extended family be they cousin. gran, uncle etc etc are known as "third party"
third party have NO right to dictate people's lives to them
my extended family do my HEAD IN
i cant help but give them lip when they meddle in my buisness
my sister gets it more-cos she's the most favoured one in our family and she's always moaning to mum about people doing her head in
but cos I answer back I'm known as the "rude, angry one" :evil:
how come asian family's are such nosy parkers?
and whats more annoying is that-if u dont do as they say they aint happy and if u do as they say they still aint happy :evil: :evil:
does anyone know of that story of the old man, young boy and the donkey?
the moral of the story was that u cant keep everyone happy
when I went to my nans house she and everyone else started on me for wearing Asian clothes (they more liberal then my parents).
They did my HEAD in and said I dont look like a "young girl" and how I look "frumpy and boring"
I dont even like asian clothes that much-I only wear them cos dad and mum dont like me wearing jeans
so I changed my clothes to make them happy
then my gran spent the next few days cussing what I was wearing saying it was too tight and rude
so I changed into Asian clothes again
only to hear my family say that they preferred me in english clothes and asked why I changed:?:
I'm NEVER gonna compromise for others ever again-its impossible to make evryone happy
Does everyone know that story?
It's true that its impossible to keep everyone happy.
One should just focus on gaining the pleasure of Allah (swt) and not care what others are on....
But thats easier said then done.
no, i would like to hear it please!
The Lover is ever drunk with love;
He is free, he is mad,
He dances with ecstasy and delight.
Caught by our own thoughts,
We worry about every little thing,
But once we get drunk on that love,
Whatever will be, will be.
ɐɥɐɥ
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