Beauty is a curse?

Published by Isha Al-Maghribi on 29 August, 2010 - 21:59
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Submitted by Isha Al-Maghribi on 1 September, 2010 - 23:55

Hajjar wrote:
this thing about arab women being on top of their looks. Surely that has a lot to do with wealth and time. If you mean they have the full works. Always in full make up, the best clothing, latest handbag and shoes, immaculate nails. That is all about wealth. I have never ever had a manicure or pedicure done in my life. My idea of a manicure is cutting my nails as short as possible, because i associate them with dirt.

Also no one seems to have mentioned the unpractical element of this high maintenance beauty, as far as religious practices are concerned. I mean make up vs wudu?, manicures vs wudu? How many times will you slap it on, and scrub it off??

As far as the first post goes. Beauty is not a curse, but a flaw in the personality. i mean the poster said her sister was chosen for her beauty and she knew it,this marriage now has little fuel to go forward on. What do you expect if you merely look at the physical and not character traits. Both need to be assessed in balance.

It's wrong to say beauty is a curse, who gives beauty Allah does. Aren't we then blaming Allah by saying it is a curse which is ruining a marriage? The truth is the individuals concerned did not use their pretty little brains when choosing their marriage partner. They went in with an unbalanced approach. Beauty alone will never keep a marriage going, just as personality alone won't. Each person needs to be attracted to both the physical and inner traits of the potential partner.

"It's wrong to say beauty is a curse, who gives beauty Allah does. Aren't we then blaming Allah by saying it is a curse which is ruining a marriage? "
...Thanks for that,though i wasnt thinking religiously...
It's just something i was thinking about a lot. Beauty as a curse.
...
No'one actually accepted the guy's proposal.
My parents/grandparents said no.
A ,because we could tell he is vain. and,B,because we didn't know him at all!
Everyone refused his proposal. He brought his parents over. This still didnt change anything. My family and his were equal in status. He burnt my Father's orphanage. This made my parents decision stronger, that he was a madman. Then, he played 'the card.' and, although i love my parents dearly, boy, are they gullable! he said "he would die" if ne didnt marry her.
so, technically, it wasn't her decision. you can not possibly say "they didnt use their pretty little brains", becuase she didnt have a choice!

—

Love is a serious mental disease.

Submitted by Isha Al-Maghribi on 2 September, 2010 - 00:00

You wrote:
Turning this on its head... what about the beard? Some people wear a half an inch wide line beard that is like grade one.

Even though my beard is small too, I always found that odd.

It's a start though, right?
I mean, most men probably arent ready for the beard, and thats how they start.
My brothers do that, i do find it kind of inappropriate. but, since when is it any of my business.

—

Love is a serious mental disease.

Submitted by You on 2 September, 2010 - 04:47

Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
I'm not sure I agree. The 'beauty is a curse' is a total different scenario to this!

I kind of understand your perspective, but when i asked this question, its not really 'I ahve too much money, wqhat am i going to do with it all?'

It's more like "People only want to be with me because I have money. And they want to be with me- the wealthy person, not me-the actual person inside".

And then you have a right to choose - especially if you know why they make their choices (and if you have the ability to choose).

You can freely ignore such people.

On the other hand, being the beast, people may not accept you and you will not have said choice at all. That seems like a worse option to me.

—

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Submitted by You on 2 September, 2010 - 05:21

Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
You wrote:
Turning this on its head... what about the beard? Some people wear a half an inch wide line beard that is like grade one.

Even though my beard is small too, I always found that odd.

It's a start though, right?
I mean, most men probably arent ready for the beard, and thats how they start.
My brothers do that, i do find it kind of inappropriate. but, since when is it any of my business.

It is a good start (maybe, if for the right reasons), but at the same time... if the same people can demand that the women wear the headscarf and sometimes more, surely its only right they can have a proper beard themselves?

Besides, men are not supposed to be as vain.

—

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Submitted by TPOS on 2 September, 2010 - 12:06

You wrote:
Turning this on its head... what about the beard? Some people wear a half an inch wide line beard that is like grade one.

It's called "style"

—

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

Submitted by LookingToSee on 2 September, 2010 - 13:15

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:
You wrote:
Turning this on its head... what about the beard? Some people wear a half an inch wide line beard that is like grade one.

It's called "style"

its gross. Just let it grow. A good muslimah (which im thinking is the type of person you want to get married to) will understand.

—

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Submitted by TPOS on 2 September, 2010 - 13:25

Lilly wrote:
ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:
You wrote:
Turning this on its head... what about the beard? Some people wear a half an inch wide line beard that is like grade one.

It's called "style"

its gross. Just let it grow. A good muslimah (which im thinking is the type of person you want to get married to) will understand.

Muslimah with a beard o.O

I don't want to marry a muslimah! dude, that's haraaaam!

Blum 3

(did no one find the fact i got called ugly by an old women, funny?)

—

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

Submitted by You on 2 September, 2010 - 13:28

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:
(did no one find the fact i got called ugly by an old women, funny?)

Not just ugly. Fat and ugly.

—

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Submitted by TPOS on 2 September, 2010 - 13:32

LOL oh yeah

—

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

Submitted by s.b.f on 2 September, 2010 - 14:32

Why are we all talking about beards?

are people saying it should be long or not?

—

 

Submitted by LookingToSee on 2 September, 2010 - 14:45

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

Muslimah with a beard o.O

I don't want to marry a muslimah! dude, that's haraaaam!

Blum 3

(did no one find the fact i got called ugly by an old women, funny?)

you silly billy! why d'you guys generelly dont want to let their beard grow? because GIRLS dont like it.

BUT a good muslimah WILL understand.

How is that funny? Plus she's ill, i dont think you should talk like that when you're ill Blum 3 But whats funny is the way You corrected you. so? d'you feel fat and ugly? Blum 3

i also love the way S.b.f just appeared out of nowhere...you really should get a gerbil

—

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Submitted by Isha Al-Maghribi on 2 September, 2010 - 17:10

[/quote]

(did no one find the fact i got called ugly by an old women, funny?)[/quote]

that's nice(!)

—

Love is a serious mental disease.

Submitted by RI_RS on 4 September, 2010 - 03:50

I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.

—

#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #

Submitted by MuslimSister on 4 September, 2010 - 19:28

Lilly wrote:
ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

Muslimah with a beard o.O

I don't want to marry a muslimah! dude, that's haraaaam!

Blum 3

(did no one find the fact i got called ugly by an old women, funny?)

you silly billy! why d'you guys generelly dont want to let their beard grow? because GIRLS dont like it.

BUT a good muslimah WILL understand.

So true. my husband often tells me about the number of marriage proposals that rejected him cos of his sunnah beard...it was an eye opener to him to know that hijabi supposed practicing sisters openly said that that they'd only accept the match if he had a more stylish shorter beard!

Submitted by Isha Al-Maghribi on 6 September, 2010 - 18:11

MakeMeRawr_8TeenF wrote:
I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.

excuse me?

—

Love is a serious mental disease.

Submitted by s.b.f on 6 September, 2010 - 18:17

How does he respect you for your beauty but not for you-yourself?

—

 

Submitted by You on 6 September, 2010 - 18:53

Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
MakeMeRawr_8TeenF wrote:
I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.

excuse me?

She means someone allowing things just based on beauty is stupid. In this case it is the latter stupidity that is the problem and not the beauty, which couild have been used or not used more wisely.

But as they say, hindsight is 20:20 and its easy to say where things went wrong after the fact.

—

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Submitted by Isha Al-Maghribi on 7 September, 2010 - 18:05

You wrote:
Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
MakeMeRawr_8TeenF wrote:
I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.

excuse me?

She means someone allowing things just based on beauty is stupid. In this case it is the latter stupidity that is the problem and not the beauty, which couild have been used or not used more wisely.

But as they say, hindsight is 20:20 and its easy to say where things went wrong after the fact.

Right.
Thanks for explaining that.
Now, I managed to delete a post once previously, how do i do it again? I can't seem to remember....?

—

Love is a serious mental disease.

Submitted by s.b.f on 7 September, 2010 - 18:24

Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
You wrote:
Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
MakeMeRawr_8TeenF wrote:
I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.

excuse me?

She means someone allowing things just based on beauty is stupid. In this case it is the latter stupidity that is the problem and not the beauty, which couild have been used or not used more wisely.

But as they say, hindsight is 20:20 and its easy to say where things went wrong after the fact.

Right.
Thanks for explaining that.
Now, I managed to delete a post once previously, how do i do it again? I can't seem to remember....?

Click on the forum topic.
Go to the top.
Click Edit.
Scroll down.
There is a delete button.

Or if you mean a specific post, I have no idea.

—

 

Submitted by You on 7 September, 2010 - 18:23

That is only for the topic and not the whole post.

Just a note - deleting whole forum topics, while possible, is not appreciated.

—

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Submitted by Isha Al-Maghribi on 7 September, 2010 - 18:33

You wrote:
That is only for the topic and not the whole post.

Just a note - deleting whole forum topics, while possible, is not appreciated.


why is that, may I ask?
—

Love is a serious mental disease.

Submitted by Isha Al-Maghribi on 7 September, 2010 - 18:33

s.b.f wrote:
Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
You wrote:
Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
MakeMeRawr_8TeenF wrote:
I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.

excuse me?

She means someone allowing things just based on beauty is stupid. In this case it is the latter stupidity that is the problem and not the beauty, which couild have been used or not used more wisely.

But as they say, hindsight is 20:20 and its easy to say where things went wrong after the fact.

Right.
Thanks for explaining that.
Now, I managed to delete a post once previously, how do i do it again? I can't seem to remember....?

Click on the forum topic.
Go to the top.
Click Edit.
Scroll down.
There is a delete button.

Or if you mean a specific post, I have no idea.

Yep, thats what i meant.
Thank you.

—

Love is a serious mental disease.

Submitted by You on 7 September, 2010 - 18:35

because if you delete a topic you are deleting more than your posts - you are also deleting all the replies to your post.

Besides, if every topic was deleted when people got bored, there would be no topics here.

So deleting a whole topic should only be done in exceptional circumstances. But that decision is left with you. If you think the topic is too personal or something, then yes, deleting it is an option.

(replies can be edited but not deleted, but chaging them can break the flow of a conversation to people who read it later)

—

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Submitted by Isha Al-Maghribi on 7 September, 2010 - 18:39

You wrote:
because if you delete a topic you are deleting more than your posts - you are also deleting all the replies to your post.

Besides, if every topic was deleted when people got bored, there would be no topics here.

So deleting a whole topic should only be done in exceptional circumstances. But that decision is left with you. If you think the topic is too personal or something, then yes, deleting it is an option.

(replies can be edited but not deleted, but chaging them can break the flow of a conversation to people who read it later)

Agree, I guess.
But, I only wanted to know people's opinions on whether they think beauty is a curse or not.
I used my sister as an EXAMPLE, and people just start throwing arrows.
Therefore, there is clearly no point of this forum.
I've found out what i wanted to know. No, Beauty isn't a curse. it's 'stupidity'.

—

Love is a serious mental disease.

Submitted by Isha Al-Maghribi on 7 September, 2010 - 18:42

You wrote:

Besides, if every topic was deleted when people got bored, there would be no topics here.

I am not bored.

—

Love is a serious mental disease.

Submitted by You on 7 September, 2010 - 19:03

Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
But, I only wanted to know people's opinions on whether they think beauty is a curse or not.
I used my sister as an EXAMPLE, and people just start throwing arrows.
Therefore, there is clearly no point of this forum.
I've found out what i wanted to know. No, Beauty isn't a curse. it's 'stupidity'.

You still do have the ability to delete this topic.

I just urge you to consider the reasons not to before making a decision.

—

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Submitted by s.b.f on 7 September, 2010 - 19:05

Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:

I've found out what i wanted to know. No, Beauty isn't a curse. it's 'stupidity'.

Why are you sulking?

—

 

Submitted by Isha Al-Maghribi on 7 September, 2010 - 19:19

s.b.f wrote:
Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:

I've found out what i wanted to know. No, Beauty isn't a curse. it's 'stupidity'.

Why are you sulking?

I'm not sulking!
I am just clearly stating what had been said.
Sorry, if I'm a bit blonde, but i can't help it, can i?

—

Love is a serious mental disease.

Submitted by Isha Al-Maghribi on 7 September, 2010 - 19:25

You wrote:
Isha Al-Maghribi wrote:
But, I only wanted to know people's opinions on whether they think beauty is a curse or not.
I used my sister as an EXAMPLE, and people just start throwing arrows.
Therefore, there is clearly no point of this forum.
I've found out what i wanted to know. No, Beauty isn't a curse. it's 'stupidity'.

You still do have the ability to delete this topic.

I just urge you to consider the reasons not to before making a decision.

ok, I didn't really think it was a big deal. But do you suggest me to delete it or not?
I just wanted to tidy my forum list thing. Keep useful things up, and clear away the useless.
A bit odd, I know. But...You won't understand!

—

Love is a serious mental disease.

Submitted by You on 7 September, 2010 - 19:44

You used a personal example in the original post which complicates things.

If it was not for that, I would be in favour of keeping the topic.

But you used a personal example and you may no longer want new people to read it, so if that is the case, you can delete the topic.

—

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

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