Beauty is a curse?

Isha Al-Maghribi —

From experiences in my life, i was thinking is beauty a blessing or a curse???

I mean,I've known girls who pretty much dip their face into make-up, and try to attract guys and get attention.
It's like they WANT the guy to notice them?
Why do they do that?

They try to make themselves feel and look beautiful.
But, do they actually know what a natural beauty has to suffer>?
I guess not.
...
Don't people understand that sure someone might be 'beautiful' from the outside, but what is in on the inside?
...
This kind of thing suffocates me. How people judge each other on their physical beauty'.
I wish i could see it,but I can't. Til date, I haven't come across anyone who is 'ugly'.
When my friends and I are talking, they may address someone as 'ugly'. But, i just don't see the 'ugliness...'

My older sister got married to this guy some years back, in Sweden.
The first time he saw her was, he decided that he'd get to know her. After merely 2 hours getting to know her.
He came knocking on our door, to ask for her hand in marriage...his bride who'd he known for 2 hours.
This made me laugh, until i cried. Honestly!
...
She's 22 now. It's been 6 years since their wedding. She's married to a man, who is arrogant, egotistical and vain and knows absolutely nothing about his wife. And, he's married to a hot-tempered angry woman who loathes him.
We went to their house, last December. All the 4 walls of the house are plastered with her photgraphs. Everywhere you look, there is his' and hers' faces.
...
I used to laugh at them before. Laugh until I cried. I laughed at his and his stupidity. I laughed at how she married such a fool; who cared for nothing, but his image. He didn't see the real beauty inside. I laughed at the fact that he didn't know her age. I laughed at the fact that he didnt know her origin. I laughed at the fact that he was in love with her beauty and not her.
I laughed and laughed and laughed......just at the whole situation I guess. I never laughed at her,because i Knew Allah was on her side, and he had done this for a reason.
....
But, I can't laugh anymore, because I've turned into that woman.
The woman who's married to a arrogant, egotistical and vain man who wants to control every move his wife makes. A man who respects his wife's beauty , but not the wife herself.
...
So, if you're like me, never EVER laugh at other people's state, because it'll hit you back!
...
And, don't ever tie the knot to someone just because they're 'attractive' or 'look good.'

Forum

Isha Al-Maghribi — Wed, 1 Sep 2010 - 23:55

[quote=Hajjar]this thing about arab women being on top of their looks. Surely that has a lot to do with wealth and time. If you mean they have the full works. Always in full make up, the best clothing, latest handbag and shoes, immaculate nails. That is all about wealth. I have never ever had a manicure or pedicure done in my life. My idea of a manicure is cutting my nails as short as possible, because i associate them with dirt.

Also no one seems to have mentioned the unpractical element of this high maintenance beauty, as far as religious practices are concerned. I mean make up vs wudu?, manicures vs wudu? How many times will you slap it on, and scrub it off??

As far as the first post goes. Beauty is not a curse, but a flaw in the personality. i mean the poster said her sister was chosen for her beauty and she knew it,this marriage now has little fuel to go forward on. What do you expect if you merely look at the physical and not character traits. Both need to be assessed in balance.

It's wrong to say beauty is a curse, who gives beauty Allah does. Aren't we then blaming Allah by saying it is a curse which is ruining a marriage? The truth is the individuals concerned did not use their pretty little brains when choosing their marriage partner. They went in with an unbalanced approach. Beauty alone will never keep a marriage going, just as personality alone won't. Each person needs to be attracted to both the physical and inner traits of the potential partner.[/quote]

"It's wrong to say beauty is a curse, who gives beauty Allah does. Aren't we then blaming Allah by saying it is a curse which is ruining a marriage? "
...Thanks for that,though i wasnt thinking religiously...
It's just something i was thinking about a lot. Beauty as a curse.
...
No'one actually accepted the guy's proposal.
My parents/grandparents said no.
A ,because we could tell he is vain. and,B,because we didn't know him at all!
Everyone refused his proposal. He brought his parents over. This still didnt change anything. My family and his were equal in status. He burnt my Father's orphanage. This made my parents decision stronger, that he was a madman. Then, he played 'the card.' and, although i love my parents dearly, boy, are they gullable! he said "he would die" if ne didnt marry her.
so, technically, it wasn't her decision. you can not possibly say "they didnt use their pretty little brains", becuase she didnt have a choice!

Isha Al-Maghribi — Thu, 2 Sep 2010 - 00:00

[quote=You]Turning this on its head... what about the beard? Some people wear a half an inch wide line beard that is like grade one.

Even though my beard is small too, I always found that odd.[/quote]

It's a start though, right?
I mean, most men probably arent ready for the beard, and thats how they start.
My brothers do that, i do find it kind of inappropriate. but, since when is it any of my business.

You — Thu, 2 Sep 2010 - 04:47

[quote=Isha Al-Maghribi]I'm not sure I agree. The 'beauty is a curse' is a total different scenario to this!

I kind of understand your perspective, but when i asked this question, its not really 'I ahve too much money, wqhat am i going to do with it all?'

It's more like "People only want to be with me because I have money. And they want to be with me- the wealthy person, not me-the actual person inside".[/quote]

And then you have a right to choose - especially if you know why they make their choices (and if you have the ability to choose).

You can freely ignore such people.

On the other hand, being the beast, people may not accept you and you will not have said choice at all. That seems like a worse option to me.

You — Thu, 2 Sep 2010 - 05:21

[quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=You]Turning this on its head... what about the beard? Some people wear a half an inch wide line beard that is like grade one.

Even though my beard is small too, I always found that odd.[/quote]

It's a start though, right?
I mean, most men probably arent ready for the beard, and thats how they start.
My brothers do that, i do find it kind of inappropriate. but, since when is it any of my business.[/quote]

It is a good start (maybe, if for the right reasons), but at the same time... if the same people can demand that the women wear the headscarf and sometimes more, surely its only right they can have a proper beard themselves?

Besides, men are not supposed to be as vain.

TPOS — Thu, 2 Sep 2010 - 12:06

[quote=You]Turning this on its head... what about the beard? Some people wear a half an inch wide line beard that is like grade one.

[/quote]

It's called "style"

LookingToSee — Thu, 2 Sep 2010 - 13:15

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE][quote=You]Turning this on its head... what about the beard? Some people wear a half an inch wide line beard that is like grade one.

[/quote]

It's called "style"[/quote]

its gross. Just let it grow. A good muslimah (which im thinking is the type of person you want to get married to) will understand.

TPOS — Thu, 2 Sep 2010 - 13:25

[quote=Lilly][quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE][quote=You]Turning this on its head... what about the beard? Some people wear a half an inch wide line beard that is like grade one.

[/quote]

It's called "style"[/quote]

its gross. Just let it grow. A good muslimah (which im thinking is the type of person you want to get married to) will understand.[/quote]

Muslimah with a beard o.O

I don't want to marry a muslimah! dude, that's haraaaam!

😛

(did no one find the fact i got called ugly by an old women, funny?)

You — Thu, 2 Sep 2010 - 13:28

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE](did no one find the fact i got called ugly by an old women, funny?)[/quote]

Not just ugly. Fat and ugly.

s.b.f — Thu, 2 Sep 2010 - 14:32

Why are we all talking about beards?

are people saying it should be long or not?

LookingToSee — Thu, 2 Sep 2010 - 14:45

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]

Muslimah with a beard o.O

I don't want to marry a muslimah! dude, that's haraaaam!

😛

(did no one find the fact i got called ugly by an old women, funny?)[/quote]

you silly billy! why d'you guys generelly dont want to let their beard grow? because GIRLS dont like it.

BUT a good muslimah WILL understand.

How is that funny? Plus she's ill, i dont think you should talk like that when you're ill 😛 But whats funny is the way You corrected you. so? d'you feel fat and ugly? 😛

i also love the way S.b.f just appeared out of nowhere...you really should get a gerbil

RI_RS — Sat, 4 Sep 2010 - 03:50

I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.

MuslimSister — Sat, 4 Sep 2010 - 19:28

[quote=Lilly][quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]

Muslimah with a beard o.O

I don't want to marry a muslimah! dude, that's haraaaam!

😛

(did no one find the fact i got called ugly by an old women, funny?)[/quote]

you silly billy! why d'you guys generelly dont want to let their beard grow? because GIRLS dont like it.

BUT a good muslimah WILL understand.

[/quote]

So true. my husband often tells me about the number of marriage proposals that rejected him cos of his sunnah beard...it was an eye opener to him to know that hijabi supposed practicing sisters openly said that that they'd only accept the match if he had a more stylish shorter beard!

Isha Al-Maghribi — Mon, 6 Sep 2010 - 18:11

[quote=MakeMeRawr_8TeenF]I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.[/quote]

excuse me?

You — Mon, 6 Sep 2010 - 18:53

[quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=MakeMeRawr_8TeenF]I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.[/quote]

excuse me?[/quote]

She means someone allowing things just based on beauty is stupid. In this case it is the latter stupidity that is the problem and not the beauty, which couild have been used or not used more wisely.

But as they say, hindsight is 20:20 and its easy to say where things went wrong after the fact.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 18:05

[quote=You][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=MakeMeRawr_8TeenF]I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.[/quote]

excuse me?[/quote]

She means someone allowing things just based on beauty is stupid. In this case it is the latter stupidity that is the problem and not the beauty, which couild have been used or not used more wisely.

But as they say, hindsight is 20:20 and its easy to say where things went wrong after the fact.[/quote]

Right.
Thanks for explaining that.
Now, I managed to delete a post once previously, how do i do it again? I can't seem to remember....?

s.b.f — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 18:24

[quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=You][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=MakeMeRawr_8TeenF]I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.[/quote]

excuse me?[/quote]

She means someone allowing things just based on beauty is stupid. In this case it is the latter stupidity that is the problem and not the beauty, which couild have been used or not used more wisely.

But as they say, hindsight is 20:20 and its easy to say where things went wrong after the fact.[/quote]

Right.
Thanks for explaining that.
Now, I managed to delete a post once previously, how do i do it again? I can't seem to remember....?[/quote]

Click on the forum topic.
Go to the top.
Click Edit.
Scroll down.
There is a delete button.

Or if you mean a specific post, I have no idea.

You — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 18:23

That is only for the topic and not the whole post.

Just a note - deleting whole forum topics, while possible, is not appreciated.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 18:33

[quote=You]That is only for the topic and not the whole post.

Just a note - deleting whole forum topics, while possible, is not appreciated.[/quote]
why is that, may I ask?

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 18:33

[quote=s.b.f][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=You][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=MakeMeRawr_8TeenF]I have to say, that from your post

I think stupidity, rather than beauty, was the curse.[/quote]

excuse me?[/quote]

She means someone allowing things just based on beauty is stupid. In this case it is the latter stupidity that is the problem and not the beauty, which couild have been used or not used more wisely.

But as they say, hindsight is 20:20 and its easy to say where things went wrong after the fact.[/quote]

Right.
Thanks for explaining that.
Now, I managed to delete a post once previously, how do i do it again? I can't seem to remember....?[/quote]

Click on the forum topic.
Go to the top.
Click Edit.
Scroll down.
There is a delete button.

Or if you mean a specific post, I have no idea.[/quote]

Yep, thats what i meant.
Thank you.

You — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 18:35

because if you delete a topic you are deleting more than your posts - you are also deleting all the replies to your post.

Besides, if every topic was deleted when people got bored, there would be no topics here.

So deleting a whole topic should only be done in exceptional circumstances. But that decision is left with you. If you think the topic is too personal or something, then yes, deleting it is an option.

(replies can be edited but not deleted, but chaging them can break the flow of a conversation to people who read it later)

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 18:39

[quote=You]because if you delete a topic you are deleting more than your posts - you are also deleting all the replies to your post.

Besides, if every topic was deleted when people got bored, there would be no topics here.

So deleting a whole topic should only be done in exceptional circumstances. But that decision is left with you. If you think the topic is too personal or something, then yes, deleting it is an option.

(replies can be edited but not deleted, but chaging them can break the flow of a conversation to people who read it later)[/quote]

Agree, I guess.
But, I only wanted to know people's opinions on whether they think beauty is a curse or not.
I used my sister as an EXAMPLE, and people just start throwing arrows.
Therefore, there is clearly no point of this forum.
I've found out what i wanted to know. No, Beauty isn't a curse. it's 'stupidity'.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 18:42

[quote=You]

Besides, if every topic was deleted when people got bored, there would be no topics here.

[/quote]

I am not bored.

You — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 19:03

[quote=Isha Al-Maghribi]But, I only wanted to know people's opinions on whether they think beauty is a curse or not.
I used my sister as an EXAMPLE, and people just start throwing arrows.
Therefore, there is clearly no point of this forum.
I've found out what i wanted to know. No, Beauty isn't a curse. it's 'stupidity'.[/quote]

You still do have the ability to delete this topic.

I just urge you to consider the reasons not to before making a decision.

s.b.f — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 19:05

[quote=Isha Al-Maghribi]
I've found out what i wanted to know. No, Beauty isn't a curse. it's 'stupidity'.[/quote]

Why are you sulking?

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 19:19

[quote=s.b.f][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi]
I've found out what i wanted to know. No, Beauty isn't a curse. it's 'stupidity'.[/quote]

Why are you sulking?[/quote]

I'm not sulking!
I am just clearly stating what had been said.
Sorry, if I'm a bit blonde, but i can't help it, can i?

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 19:25

[quote=You][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi]But, I only wanted to know people's opinions on whether they think beauty is a curse or not.
I used my sister as an EXAMPLE, and people just start throwing arrows.
Therefore, there is clearly no point of this forum.
I've found out what i wanted to know. No, Beauty isn't a curse. it's 'stupidity'.[/quote]

You still do have the ability to delete this topic.

I just urge you to consider the reasons not to before making a decision.[/quote]

ok, I didn't really think it was a big deal. But do you suggest me to delete it or not?
I just wanted to tidy my forum list thing. Keep useful things up, and clear away the useless.
A bit odd, I know. But...You won't understand!

You — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 19:44

You used a personal example in the original post which complicates things.

If it was not for that, I would be in favour of keeping the topic.

But you used a personal example and you may no longer want new people to read it, so if that is the case, you can delete the topic.