Love

Published by _LoLy_ on 4 January, 2009 - 12:49

hi...
it's me for the last time..
yesterday my boyfriend said why he didn't accepte my present..
he said when his parents come back in italy, he's sure they don't accept me..there will be mess and he said he respects me and he didn't want to make me sad...
when he taked me home he cried and he said"he has a heart too"...
however why we can do nothing?i'm only a western girl...i can love him like you, like any muslim girl..i can give him child, i can do all for him..i love him not like any other girl but more!

i passed this night crying..

thanks for the information you give me...
moderator if u want delete my messages...

byeeee

Submitted by Amal on 4 January, 2009 - 18:37

Dear Loly

Im sorry to hear that your boyfriend said to part ways. From what I can remember, he is Muslim, and you're not. Its difficult to say, going from what little we know of him why he chose to do what he did, but, sometimes it is based on his faith, as much as his culture and family. Im sure you have heard of similar stories from people of different faiths and cultures having the same predicament and outcome.

You both need to have a clear and open conversation. Make clear your concerns and confusions, and find out why he has chosen, now, after all these months, to let you go.

—

May Allah shine sweet faith upon you this day and times beyond. May your heart be enriched with peace, and may your home be blessed always. Ameen.

Submitted by Seraphim on 4 January, 2009 - 14:11

{sigh}

Love has little to do with it.
Seems like a clash of culture to me.
Technically he can marry you but you have to ask yourself if he's not willing to fight for you, then is it worth it?

Personally i think he should atleast attempt to talk to his parents and try and bring them round to try and accept you. Atleast give them the option, rather than assuming they will say no. But i guess with some parents its more obvious what they'll say than others.

Bottomline: If he is willing to fight for both of you to stay together and face his parents then you should stick it out together. If he's not, then it aint even worth it. Let him go, theres plenty of fish in the sea.

—

Back in BLACK

Submitted by Cantara on 4 January, 2009 - 14:15

Yeah
I Agree With Seraphim Its Mostly The Culture.
Coz If He Wanted He Cud Marry You
Biggrin
Hes Probz Worried About The Conflict(If Thats The Right Word) He Will Cause With His Parents.

But Yet Again I Dnt Know Him So I Cant Really Falsely Assume
Biggrin

Submitted by Seraphim on 4 January, 2009 - 14:18

CrazyLilMaria wrote:
Yeah
I Agree With Seraphim Its Mostly The Culture.
Coz If He Wanted He Cud Marry You
Biggrin
Hes Probz Worried About The Conflict(If Thats The Right Word) He Will Cause With His Parents.

But Yet Again I Dnt Know Him So I Cant Really Falsely Assume
Biggrin

I dont understand why you're smiling
Poor girls crying and your smiling.. tut tut... not cool.

—

Back in BLACK

Submitted by Cantara on 4 January, 2009 - 14:44

Ooopz
Sorry
Actually Ive Got A Habit Using The Biggrin
I Dnt Really Intend On Using It
Sorry Sad

Submitted by _LoLy_ on 4 January, 2009 - 14:58

Amal wrote:
sometimes it is based on his faith, as much as his culture and family.

like he said that i think it's only for family..his family is respected and with me will not be like this..

i know he can marry me but not now because i'm not 18..and in italy we can't get marry before 18..
i thought to suggest him to talk together with his parents..but i don't know if it's the good choose...

however i read on internet muslim can get married with christian girls if they're believer and virgin..

aren't they?

and i know there are lots of fish in the sea...but if you know the best fish you've ever tried..i think you let it go with difficulty...

—

Submitted by Cantara on 4 January, 2009 - 14:58

Yeah Thats True
A Muslim Man Can Marry A Christian

Submitted by Cantara on 4 January, 2009 - 15:05

_LoLy_ wrote:
CrazyLilMaria wrote:
Ooopz
Sorry
Actually Ive Got A Habit Using The Biggrin
I Dnt Really Intend On Using It
Sorry Sad

don't worry...

Thanx For Forgivin Me Biggrin

Submitted by Seraphim on 4 January, 2009 - 15:25

_LoLy_ wrote:
Amal wrote:
sometimes it is based on his faith, as much as his culture and family.

like he said that i think it's only for family..his family is respected and with me will not be like this..

i know he can marry me but not now because i'm not 18..and in italy we can't get marry before 18..
i thought to suggest him to talk together with his parents..but i don't know if it's the good choose...

however i read on internet muslim can get married with christian girls if they're believer and virgin..

aren't they?

and i know there are lots of fish in the sea...but if you know the best fish you've ever tried..i think you let it go with difficulty...

Im not saying marry the guy NOW ofcourse wait until you're ready too. I was simply saying its possible for a Muslim man to marry a Christian woman. Even more so if she accepts Islam.

And people need to get over themselves. His family wont loose any respect if he were to marry you. Thats just silly old people talk.

But yeah, he should atleast try to talk to his parents about it. Atlest then you'll know you tried.
As for the fish; if you wont let one go, how do you know the next one wont be better?? Always good to try new things. Biggrin

Be brave, things will work out.

—

Back in BLACK

Submitted by _LoLy_ on 4 January, 2009 - 16:33

Seraphim wrote:

Im not saying marry the guy NOW ofcourse wait until you're ready too. I was simply saying its possible for a Muslim man to marry a Christian woman. Even more so if she accepts Islam.

And people need to get over themselves. His family wont loose any respect if he were to marry you. Thats just silly old people talk.

But yeah, he should atleast try to talk to his parents about it. Atlest then you'll know you tried.
As for the fish; if you wont let one go, how do you know the next one wont be better?? Always good to try new things. Biggrin

Be brave, things will work out.

i hope it..
and the girl can ask to marry to a man or only man can ask it?

however now is a little upset for this 10 days so i think it's better leave him alone and talk about us after...later i'm going to ask him to talk together with your parents..(although i think he don't want...he told me about big mess..i can't understand what type of mess..my parents initially didn't want i go out with a muslim but with some time they accept that..)

bof...i don't know what can i say..i always be stubborn with the things i want and i'll do also for this!

—

Submitted by You on 4 January, 2009 - 17:01

_LoLy_ wrote:
he said when his parents come back in italy, he's sure they don't accept me..there will be mess and he said he respects me and he didn't want to make me sad...

Ask him why he never thought that at the start.

Sorry for being blunt but I think he played you fora fool and probably still is. If he knew this would be a problem from the start, he was thinking of you as an object to use and throw away.

Ask him why he went for it if he knew where it would lead? Its not as if it would have suddenly dawned on him that there would be problems. And don't let him treat you like a fool. His tears do not mean he did any different.

Unfortunately us guys are good at this and biology helps us = otherwise humankind as whole would become extinct overnight! (well over a few short generations... well, not extinct, but limited in number). Guys say things, girls believe them and hope for the best. Please do not let him take you for a fool. No one deserves that.

Inshallah the actions of this person will not stop you from having a good look at Islam from yourself for yourself.

May allah (swt) show you guidance and give you a peace of mind in the world and the next.

—

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Submitted by You on 4 January, 2009 - 17:02

_LoLy_ wrote:
and the girl can ask to marry to a man or only man can ask it?

Anyone can, but its traditional for the guy to do it in western culture.

And ignore what Seraphim said. Ask him instead why he was not honest with you from the start and what did he really expect to happen?

—

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Submitted by Ya'qub on 4 January, 2009 - 17:06

You wrote:
_LoLy_ wrote:
and the girl can ask to marry to a man or only man can ask it?

Anyone can, but its traditional for the guy to do it in western culture.

Except in a leap year, a woman should propose on February the 29th.

I know way to much useless stuff.

—

Don't just do something! Stand there.

Submitted by _LoLy_ on 4 January, 2009 - 21:24

You wrote:

Ask him why he never thought that at the start.

he said he tried to tell me but he wasn't very outspoken because he didn't want to lost me..
and now in a week his parents will come back in italy..so we "must break up"...
i think his tears are sincere so i think he's suffering like me...but..boof!
he said he thought i was a classical western girl who have sex...he didn't think i will be a serious girl..and maybe he didn't think we can fall in love together...

however now i'm a little confused...i know i love him...and one part of me wants to fight and continue to try to convince he...
but one part of me said "no, leave he alone..it's a sign.."

Sad

—

Submitted by The Lamp on 5 January, 2009 - 10:37

_LoLy_ wrote:
You wrote:

Ask him why he never thought that at the start.

he said he thought i was a classical western girl who have sex... he didn't think i will be a serious girl..and maybe he didn't think we can fall in love together...

Sad

So do you feel that he was the guy you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Loly, mate, just give it time things will get better.
By the way, feel free to come on here for as long as you want, alright. It's your choice, but you're always welcome here.

—

“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”

Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi

Submitted by You on 5 January, 2009 - 12:15

The Lamp wrote:
It's your choice, but you're always welcome here.

plus one.

—

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Submitted by _LoLy_ on 5 January, 2009 - 19:05

The Lamp wrote:
_LoLy_ wrote:
You wrote:

Ask him why he never thought that at the start.

he said he thought i was a classical western girl who have sex... he didn't think i will be a serious girl..and maybe he didn't think we can fall in love together...

Sad

So do you feel that he was the guy you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Loly, mate, just give it time things will get better.
By the way, feel free to come on here for as long as you want, alright. It's your choice, but you're always welcome here.


he's searching sex because he's never fall in love..now it's different...
however yeah i think time can tell me something about us..
in this2days he wrote more messages than before this"problem"...he doesn't want to leave me..but i think if he wants me he must speak with his parents when they'll come back...also with me if he wants my support...i'm sure what i can offer and also i'm sure i'm christian believer and virgin..
but if he doesn't want neither to try to talk with his parents i think he doesn't deserve me...
it's sad but i have to go ahead...

The Lamp wrote:
By the way, feel free to come on here for as long as you want, alright. It's your choice, but you're always welcome here.

You wrote:
plus one

thanks everyone for all the support and advises..;)
also to wednesd.. Wink thanks a lot! Smile
i'll write you something when i'll know something...
—

Submitted by _LoLy_ on 6 January, 2009 - 01:12

News
i see him tonight...he told me his parents maybe will come back in february so i try to persuade him again to talk with his parents..
he said it's like try to break a wall with a punch... Fool
however we understand it's difficult keep a story like this..not for us but because we're young..i can't take my decision alone..i can't take my things and go away..i'm under age and i'm a student..i can't dedicate all my time for love and for us... :roll:
anyway i said i don't want to break up now because i'm a little confuse with my feelings...
so i think we'll go out again in this time and we'll try to see less and less...
i don't know if it's the good choose...but i think if we break up drastically i'll recive a moral blow and i don't know if i can recover from this love...so i think it's better break up slowly..we can see again but less and with time we can forget the feeling and maybe in a future we can be friend..but sincerely i don't think so because in my last story i never become friend with an ex BF....

however i think this type of story can work when there are feelings strongs..from the two people...and even if he cried tonight again, i think he doesn't love me like i love him...

maybe i'm too strong to stay with him..or maybe i can't understand your culture...or maybe i'm only convince myself to let it go...

anyway like i've already said..time will tell me something more..i have to live for discovering my future... :roll:

thanks for reading!

—

Submitted by Naz on 6 January, 2009 - 11:03

Awww InshAllah things will work out for you. In the meantime why dont you concentrate on ur studies. Your only 16/17 so there is plenty of time for boys.

—

No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy

Submitted by Ya'qub on 19 January, 2009 - 21:15

"These violent delights have violent ends;
And their triumph die, like the fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in its own deliciousness,
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately: long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow."
-William Shakespeare

—

Don't just do something! Stand there.

Submitted by Raven (not verified) on 19 January, 2009 - 21:35

Ya'qub wrote:
"These violent delights have violent ends;
And their triumph die, like the fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in its own deliciousness,
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately: long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow."
-William Shakespeare

Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene VI

I didnt knw u were into Shakespear?

Submitted by Ya'qub on 19 January, 2009 - 21:55

Raven wrote:
Ya'qub wrote:
"These violent delights have violent ends;
And their triumph die, like the fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in its own deliciousness,
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately: long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow."
-William Shakespeare

Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene VI

I didnt knw u were into Shakespear?

I have many layers, just like a cake. Or an onion. Or a forest (or is that 'many bears'?).

—

Don't just do something! Stand there.

Submitted by Ya'qub on 19 January, 2009 - 22:05

wednesday wrote:
Ya'qub wrote:
Raven wrote:
Ya'qub wrote:
"These violent delights have violent ends;
And their triumph die, like the fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in its own deliciousness,
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately: long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow."
-William Shakespeare

Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene VI

I didnt knw u were into Shakespear?

I have many layers, just like a cake. Or an onion. Or a forest (or is that 'many bears'?).

SHREK!

Of course! Biggrin

But don't call me that, please.

—

Don't just do something! Stand there.

Submitted by Ya'qub on 19 January, 2009 - 22:13

wednesday wrote:
Shrek Shrek Shrek Blum 3

(don't tell me what to do :!: )

I said 'please'. It was a polite request.

I'll call you 'sis' if you do!

—

Don't just do something! Stand there.

Submitted by 1R4M on 30 January, 2009 - 21:59

_LoLy_ wrote:
hi...
it's me for the last time..
yesterday my boyfriend said why he didn't accepte my present..
he said when his parents come back in italy, he's sure they don't accept me..there will be mess and he said he respects me and he didn't want to make me sad...
when he taked me home he cried and he said"he has a heart too"...
however why we can do nothing?i'm only a western girl...i can love him like you, like any muslim girl..i can give him child, i can do all for him..i love him not like any other girl but more!

i passed this night crying..

thanks for the information you give me...
moderator if u want delete my messages...

byeeee

I feel for u
I honestly do

This guy was never serious about u tho
I hate to say it

thats most guys for u
u were only there for fun
its what they do
mess around with girls until their mummys tell them to marry a traditional nuslim girl frm back home

pigs

dont waste ur tears on that git

Submitted by Omrow on 31 January, 2009 - 13:51

Salam

I am going to miss the Italian lady.

I wish she would not have gone.

But what can one do.

I pray she remains in good health thoughout her life.

I hope she finds peace and happiness in a man of her dreams.

Omrow

Submitted by TPOS on 31 January, 2009 - 15:29

Omrow wrote:

I pray she remains in good health thoughout her life.

I hope she finds peace and happiness in a man of her dreams.

Omrow

ameen.

—

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

Submitted by _LoLy_ on 31 January, 2009 - 19:02

1R4M wrote:

I feel for u
I honestly do
This guy was never serious about u tho
I hate to say it
thats most guys for u
u were only there for fun
its what they do
mess around with girls until their mummys tell them to marry a traditional nuslim girl frm back home
pigs
dont waste ur tears on that git

yeah i understand it..but if he knows i don't want to have sex with him now..and he knows i'm a serious girl..i can't understand why he search me again! Sad

Omrow wrote:
Salam

I am going to miss the Italian lady.
I wish she would not have gone.
But what can one do.
I pray she remains in good health thoughout her life.
I hope she finds peace and happiness in a man of her dreams.
Omrow

thanks for your worries about me..it's a pleasure read this words..

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:
Omrow wrote:

I pray she remains in good health thoughout her life.

I hope she finds peace and happiness in a man of her dreams.

Omrow

ameen.

thanks for your joke too... Blum 3

wednesday wrote:
I'm sure Jess still visits the forum!

yessss..you're right.. Smile i continue to visite the forum but i don't write because i don't have more time in this periods of school...

however i'm always with you! Smile Smile Smile

—

Submitted by nasamat on 7 February, 2009 - 12:24

When I read this post I just could'nt help posting these love poems (but they're in French). They've been read by more than 10,000 on various forums, but I've just collected them on this link:

Hope you'll like them (if you do speak French)!

Pages

Post reply