Joke 1
Marriages are made in heaven.
But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Joke 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say - talk in your sleep.

Joke 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand

Joke 4
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
From the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Joke 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.

The last two weeks:

Wake up just after 4am. Read Fajr. Eat toast with scrambled egg, beans and coffee. Shower. Get to work at about 6. Work until about 5. Get home in time for Zahur. Iron clothes for tomorrow. Eat three rotis with whatever is cooked. Play with kids. Read Asr. Play with kids until their bedtime. Kill a bit of time, do dishes, pack lunch for tomorrow. Read Maghrib. Try to get a bit of sleep / kill more time. Read Isha and be in bed for 11.15 - 11.30 and start all over again at 4am the next day.

I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired.

From next week:

why is there so many islamic/muslim charities?

human aid

islamic relief

human relief foundation

ummah welfare trust

islamic aid (? does this one exist?)

families relief

WHY do you think that is?

">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BR939M48BG4]

.......

ingredients:

180g flour

175g butter

75g sugar

4 eggs

175g dates (use date paste or can use actual dates chopped and pitted)

3 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda

120ml milk

1teaspoon vanilla (optional)

Preparation:

1)sieve together the flour, baking powder and bicarbonate of soda

2)beat the sugar and butter together until fluffly and light. (with an electric mixer, much easier)

3) add eggs one by one

4)add vanilla, milk and date - beat until well mixed

5) add the flour mixture, add in 2 or 3 parts while mixing. do not mix for too long (2/3 mins)

is Muslim

“They said I need to stay here for a year. Can you believe it’s been 9 months already. Another three and I’ll be going back to the UK” If Abdul knew what was in store for him, he wouldn’t have been looking so forward to going back to the UK.

“Why did they send you here for a year? That’s a bit random isn’t it?” I just didn’t, and still to this day don’t, understand why truant youngsters are sent ‘back home’ to live with a random uncle for a year.

“They said it’ll get me off drugs and all that innit. I started doing lines and stuff. Hanging with Raf and his boys bruv. They do a lot harder stuff than me. They proper G’s cuzzy”

">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGNRXZpZe8g]

“Don’t worry Usman, I’ll drop you off.” I said. I didn’t fancy going straight home anyway. It was an overcast day and I knew I’ll be stuck indoors all day and it was only 1.30 in the afternoon.

“You sure bro, it’s out of the way for you isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. So if I drop you off you owe me. Lunch tomorrow?” I joked as we walked to my rusty Vectra.

“You really need a new car bro, if I didn’t have to be home I’d rather walk than get a lift from you. Your car is just embarrassing.”

“You have a nice way of showing your appreciation. Just get in...!!”

We spoke about many things on the 10 minute drive to Usman’s house. We spoke about dragons, cars, jobs, Luke, houses and glab jams.