Ali has been sent down for 18 months for selling Cannabis and Jamal has gone to Egypt to study Islam. In their place we have:

Jameela: Asalaam alaikum sister. I haven't seen you in time.

Aliyah: You'll never guess who just asked me out!!!

Jameela: Who?

Aliyah: Iky baby!!!!!!

Jameela: Ikram? The one who looks like Sonic the Hedgehog? Why you messing around with that good- for- nothing unemployed dosser. All he does is drive round the same block 50 times a day!

Ali has been sent down for 18 months for selling Cannabis and Jamal has gone to Egypt to study Islam. In their place we have:

Jameela: Asalaam alaikum sister. I haven’t seen you in time.

SweetGyal says… Phew, he's gone, dat was close-lol

Romeo007 says… Wat happnd?

SweetGyal says… My old man came in, so i had to close the window.

Romeo007 says… Lol-wat did he want?

SweetGyal says… He wanted to no why I was on the comp at 2.30am. i told him i was workin on an important college project due in 2moro.

Romeo007 says… LOL

SweetGyal says… Trust me, ma folks don't no jack, dey wouldn't no the diff between Microsoft Word and MSN Messenger.

SweetGyal says… Phew, he’s gone, dat was close-lol

Romeo007 says… Wat happnd?

I don’t know about you but I’m sick to death of every Tony, Trevor and David bangin’ on about Muslim integration.

From the issue of the veil to the bombings of 7/7, from the cartoon hoo haa to the Pope’s outburst and from Muslim schools to ‘Muslim ghettos’... yep you’ve guessed it- it’s all because Muslims don’t integrate, innit!

Yeah didn’t you know... ’these Muslims need to integrate more... if they wanna live in our country then they need to live like we do!’.

By Alveena Salim

We live in such a fast society. Fast food, fast cars, fast internet and fast communication all means that it's easier to keep touch with loved ones.

However, despite living in such a fast society, how come we're always in a rush? How come we don't have time to keep in touch or to visit loved ones? And how come there are not enough hours in the day to just stop and think of someone other than our own selves?

The underlying reason behind our "busy lifestyle" is that we're selfish; we fail to think or be there for others, because we're too busy worrying about our own selves.

By Alveena Salim

In my year there are 6 Asians, and nearly every single day, we get a racist comment. We get ganged up on by other years, when there are only 5 of us girls together.

We tell the teachers, write statements and do everything we can, but after a week or two, everything is the same again, and it sometimes feels like the teachers don’t believe us and ignore us.

Before the half term, some yr.9’s videoed us and one ran past and pulled one of our scarves. They only do it coz we’re Muslims and we wear scarves, and sometimes during lessons, the whole class goes against us.

Dear sister I’m at a very difficult point in my life & require your guidance. I have been married 5 years to a wonderful man (from Pakistan). I am having an affair ... I want to get out of this horrible cycle and be a good wife.

Can you please guide me, I want to be a good Muslim, read namaz (prayers) but I cant stand in front of Allah when I’m such a bad person.

This issue we take a break from our usual Q & A with Shaykh Salim Ghisa and instead we bring to you 'The Revival Agony Aunt' section with sister Ruqayyah Waris Maqsood.

Asalamu Alaykum sister. I just got married, and me and my husband are not in good times but the problem is his mother is a controlling person and I am just falling away from him. As things were this bad... someone from my past comes in and I end up loving them.

By Irfan Jalil

This issue of the Revival has had the displeasure of having to sift through numerous candidates for the un-coveted prize of Turkey of the Month.

First off was the farcical raid by Sir Ian ‘Turkey’ Blair’s Metropolitan police on the home of two Muslim bothers and their family. 250 anti-terrorist officers in full protective gear and guns to boot forced themselves into a single terraced house looking for a chemical suicide-vest-type bomb.

By Irfan Khan and Mohammad Ayoub

Yvonne Ridley is probably the most popular revert to Islam, since her conversion back in 2001 after she was captured by the Taliban.

Since embracing Islam she hosts a talk show on Islam Channel and is very outspoken with her views on current issues and how Muslims should behave.

The Revival has met up with sister Yvonne to ask her a few questions.

Revival: Asalamalaykum (Peace be upon You)

Sister Yvonne Ridley: Wa allaykum Salam (Peace be upon you too)