So my 13 year old sister asked me to speak to my parents about home schooling her. She tells me she just doesn't like the environment at school. It's not that everybody's a bad influence at school but the majority are bound by almost no rules.
My older sister thinks it's a bad idea for her to be away from other girls her age and that it may have a bad affect on her in the future and i think my dad pretty much agrees.
I haven't yet discussed this with my dad as i don't know what's best atm. I do need to talk to him soon or my lil sis is gonna kill me.
IMO home schooling has it's positives and negatives...unlike some i don't agree that it cuts her off from society completely.
I would just tell her to stick it out for the time being and wait till high school's over but she's really adament to leave and soon.
Anyway what do you guy think?
Thanks for reading 
and i'd appreciate it if people stuck to the topic 
not just about my sisters situation but muslim youth in general.
People have to remember that our muslim youth aren't perfect
If you find a decent teacher then yeah it's ok.
Personally I think it helps to learn with others around you.
Yeah they won't be totally secluded unless you lock the kids in the house or something, but I agree that kids should be able to hang around others their own age. Then again it's a good way of avoiding the fitna. But is this the balanced option? If this is balanced what would be the extreme?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
i think they both have their negatives and positives. for muslims especially those who can't access muslim schools. if i had the money i would send them to a muslim school if there was one nearby, nothing in this town. so is that an option for your sister?, if so that is better than being alone.
If not home schooling is a good idea. Why force her to stick it out in a school or environment she dislikes? she will excel in the envrionment she likes. As for mixing with children her own age, if she doesn't like their behaviour then it is better not to mix with them. yes mixing with our peers is good but it should be the correct sort of company and if that is lacking you need to look elsewhere, or separate yourself from them iif necessary. i mean the companions we choose, the outside influences are very important to muslims especially when they are young and impressionable.
maybe go over the positives and negatives just to be certain she is fixed on the idea, then approach your parents.
my nephew is in first year secondary he is in a similar quandary he detests school for the same reason. my sis is considering changing schools or muslim school home schooling isnt an option since both parents need to work.
but i know a person who is really intelligent, but that is rare i know i couldnt do it not up to gcse level. he home schooled his children i think 3 so far 4 more to go, up to a level they achieved nothing but A grades. now they are attending a muslim school and doing a degree on the side which will be certified by a university.
I hope things work out for the best no matter what option she chooses.
“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]
Its a huge responsibility to take on. If its u thats gonna be teaching ur child, what do u teach them, where do u start? and if u dnt have the knowledge to teach them, are u going to have to pay different teachers for different subjects? does tht mean u have to stay home all day? I dnt think id want that responsibility.
This article in a muslim mag suggested that a lot of people do it, but i dnt know how much it affects the quality of the childs education. I know kids can be crazy in school, but since shes only been there for about a yr(?) it might just take getting used to. Id just advise to look into everything before u make the decision cos its not an area that ud wanna mess up considering the stakes. alright these are my thoughts on the subject
"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"
Not many children ask to be home schooled, maybe something is bothering her? Talk to her properly and ask her what's wrong. She may be being bullied.
crappy idea to home school.
its not just about education, but about interaction.
If she cant handle people at school and doesnt learn, she wont be able tp handle them when she is older either.
and Islamic/Muslim schools are not the answer. look at many people who went to them and they are as screwed up if not more than others.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
screwed up how?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
That's exactly what i thought...i think i'm the only ine who talks to her properly which is why she's trying to make me persuade my dad. I asked about school etc. but everything sounds fine, she's not getting bullied AFAIK plus she's got a big group of friends and others she knows in classes above her. I don't think there's much wrong but kids are good at hiding things.
.....guess i've gotta talk to her again.
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
I've taken all that into consideration and i agree she definitely needs to be able to learn to deal with others as this is life. I'm also not a fan 'islamic schools' well most of them anyway, i know what Admin's talking about when he says they come out worse off than others some times.
I dOn't think people can actually be influenced to do things they don't want to do. IMO doesn't matter how much you try to force someone to do something, they're not going to commit to it unless that's what they desire. So depending on what they desire that's the sort of group or environment they're gonna stick with.
I guess i still need to find out what's bothering her first
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
maybe talk to her form tutor? to find out if there's anythign wrong.
i'd say if she wants to be home schooled and its possible why not? especially for the lower years. i'd say go back to school for year 10 and 11 (and maybe year 9) coz thats the hard core GCSE stuff and needs the structure of going to school and homework etc.. i think. personal opinion here. but for the lower year...
my house is mayhem..i would never want to be home schooled/ home school someone here LOL. but thats just how it is isnt..home's home and school's school.
talking about school...
I DONT WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOOOL!!!!!!!!!
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
I'm not sure about the question,
but I want to say I think it's awesome that your family care so much about your little sister and her education
Not that I expected any less, but it is something we take for granted. Would be awesome if every young girl and boy had the same opportunities and every family was in a position to grant them them.
*Oprah moment over* >.<
#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #
So....mixed views :/
Hmm maybe talking to her teachers isn't such a bad idea, thanks.
Oh and thanks Rawrrs
i wasn't so appreciative of my parents 'encouragement' towards education. Though many lessons were learnt
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
btw, I am not against Islamic schools. I think that overall they are a fabulous idea.
but I also get the idea that many are half hearted and not thought out - especially for girls, where locking them in a room doesnt seem to be far from the plan (of which I speak with no experience).
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"
I'd love to home school my 2 kids myself even graduate at home - I can do it myself but they love school too much. You see at home school they'd learn stuff I want them to learn not the half assed stuff they teach in our schools. They'd know things properly mind you I still give them a form of home school cos I teach them everything on the school syllabus for the full year in the 6 wks summer holidays then for the rest of the year after school I teach them the stuff I think they should know - I keep stuff age appropriate but never skimp on the truth
Masha' Allah
You do let them play and have fun too right? Joke. It's true that most public schools these days aren't quite up to scratch. I don't think they pay enough attention to the individual students not that it's an easy task with about 30 pupils in one class. I can't say i totally agree with everything they teach in the schools either especially in Religious studies and History and the likes. One it's not very accurate and two they pick and choose in the subjects too much. Can't really expect much from a secondary school education though IMO
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
There seems to be more to the story at my sisters school, not sure if it's linked to her wanting to leave though.
So y'day at around 11am my mum got a text from my sister asking for her to be picked up from school as she weren't feeling well. So i take my mum to her school and about 5 mins later my mum comes out but nonlittle sister with her. My mum
Inform me that my sister never told any of the teachers that she was feeling unwell, neither did she ask them permission to leave school because of it and she's not supposed to be using her phone in school.
So this resuls in my sister having to stay till end of school after taking a paracetomol. I thought this was the end of it, later after she had finished and come back home though she tells me er side of the story. So i asked her why she didn't inform any of the teachers when she was feeling sick, she responded somewhere along the lines of "the teachers are rude and idiots and they don't listen". In my head i was thinking, how ironic...
Story goes on though..apparently my sister has evidence of a certain teacher being rude and racist. This is how it went, so my sister got called to the teachers office for using her phone in school, my sister knows of this teachers history with herself and others. Oh so slyly my sister recorded the whole conversation on her phone while the teacher was having a rude and racist rant, i pleaded but still my sister refused to tell me what exactly he said :/ though it did involve the word 'paki'.
So as it happens the phone is in posession of the headmaster and the teacher is being reviewed and may be suspended. Hopefully i'll be able to have a talk with the headmaster on Monday morning...
Worst thing of all is that my sister really wasn't feeling well and she said she had collapsed on the floor at one point cause she was feeling dizzy. Seriously if you can't even trust the teachers to tell them that then wth is up with this school? I doubt everything is as my sister says cause i'm sure i felt this way when i was in school.
Wow that's alot of writing.
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
Erm that's worrying the fact that she collapsed and the teachers didn't do anything about it. Shouldn't they have taken her to hospital to make sure everything is fine especially if she's just 13!!!
The racism issue needs to be addresses, defo not on...
That's the thing, she didn't tell the techers that. I don't even think she told my parents...she's so weird. Gonna go to her school onmonday and discuss the other teachers behaviour.
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
you're subcontiously doing this coz Fboy purposefully mentioned in his OP that there should be no offtopic comments
!
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Lilly i think you read way too into Patience' comment.
Thanks but It's fine.
@ Patience, she used her phone cause she wanted to go home but didn't wanna tell teachers cause she 'knew' they wouldn't let her take an early leave...AFAIK
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
Ok so i went to see her head of year, one to discuss the incidents of the the other day but more importantly to discuss her education etc. in general.
Firtly i spoke to my sister regarding her issues with this school or schools in general. She still speaks about the environment and how she hates the social atmosphere but she more importantly told me how it interrupts her learning atmosphere.
Sounds like the same old school problems from my days. If this is the main issue then i think it'll be easy to tackle now that i've voiced these issues with her head of year.
Insha Allah it'll all work out soon.
Thanks for all the advice...i'll keep ya updated. Jazakallah khair
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
OP = original post.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
i think those who are forced to go islamic schools and poorly achieving schools are worse off. ironically i know of girls ho were forced to go and ended up loving the experience, and actually went on to make a whole career out of it. I also know of kds whl have been really sucessfully schooled in them and are pursuing their dream d
worldy job, combined with teaching religion to students in the evenings , so it depends really.
the one thing i dislike about mixed schools is how they force kids to mix and do stupid things from a young age i feel it takes their sense of haya away from them, without them even realising. yes we need to interact but as muslims within certain boundaries.
“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]