i was just wondering...
If you find out/ someone tells you they are doing something haraam and you kind of expect it from them and because it's like almost "normal" ur not really surprised either so u dont say anything to them, is that ok?
Or should u be telling them off for it even though they know its wrong? cuz i dont really see the point in that if soemone knows they're doing something wrong and do it anyway what u say won't really matter will it? and a person just telling them off is just going to annoy them or something anyway.
But then theres the whole thing where you're supposed to tell people off and tell them what's right and wrong as someone who know's better...
:S
Does the "telling off" have a purpose other than making you feel better? If no, then no point.
And who said you're supposed to tell people off? It is all about wisdom and doing it the right way.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
You should preach the truth with love only.
Yes I agree with Omrow and You that telling someone these kind of things should be done very carefully and with wisdom not anger. Yeah they might not listen to you today but you never know one day they might actually realise themselves the wrong they have been doing. When you tell someone off i.e. shout at them or respond to them in a heavy tone then most of the times the chances are that it will go in one ear and out the other.
We should try and follow the sunnah of our beloved Prophet (sallalahu^alaiyhi wasallam). He didn't use anger in such cases.
Hope that helps
**If my only crime is that I loved the family of Muhammad then that is such a crime from which I will never repent- Imam Al Shafi^**
its not to make me feel better cuz i dont actually "care". if someone wants to do something wrong knowgly then its upto to them, who am i to be angry at them for it? and freewill and all that...BUT as a friend i would want them to be on the straight path and as Asma has said if they dont listen to me today they might another day and thats what i was asking really - should i bother talking to them ("telling them off" was the wrong way of putting it as i wouldnt really be angry whilst telling them and would try and do it in a calm and normal way) even though they know its wrong in the hope that one day they will reflect on it and decide they souldn't be doing it Or should i just leave them be?
If the first and bit sound like they contradict each other (not "caring" but still wanting them to be on the right path) its not meant to!
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
If they are a friend then perhaps you should just mention it to them anyway even if they do know that they are wrong.
Its like in Islam when one fellow Muslim is about to read salah they should also remind the other Muslims around them to go and read too, so in that context when you see someone doing wrong you should mention it to them because we are going to get questioned on the Day of Judgement as to whether we tried to stop our fellow Muslims from doing wrong (regardless of whether they listened to us or not) but we did our duty.
**If my only crime is that I loved the family of Muhammad then that is such a crime from which I will never repent- Imam Al Shafi^**
Hmmm...
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
I would try and get to the root of the issue; why are they doing this in the first place- attention, loneliness, anger?
I would try and tackle that and I would remind them that they are so much better than this.
“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”
Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi
What if they just like it?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
OK, I'm gonna need more specifics than that.
“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”
Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi
when i just "like" somehting and cant understand why i should give it up. i remind myself of my purpose here, and that htis life is much too short. and all the bounties Allah has given me that i shouldnt be wasting on doing these actions. and i usually try and find something else to do to fill in that gap from given up that thing. so that i wont be tempted back as i "wouldnt have anything else to do".
hope that helps...
edit: your duty is to tell them 3 times, afterwards you leave it. but be careful not to end up looking like you condone what they do.
and i get the whole "telling them again will just annoy them", maybe they need a new approach of being told? something that wont go in one ear and out the other. something different to what they are used to.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Yep, I've learnt that now
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
thats what i thought too..should i really post, its an old topic, but then you revivalled it so i thought might as well.
and 2009 feels like a long time ago..what year were we in? what were we doing?
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Yeh I was pondering over whether this
could be relevant and affect the topic or not...
Yr 10. I think I was studying pride + prejudice in english lit at this time
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi