Is anyone sick of saying it?
do people not SEE the hijaab or beard? :roll:
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It is better than ignoring you. If I was your friend and inviting people down the pub I'd feel terrible just specifically inviting everyone except you.
If you can't go and order a Coke, maybe it is your opportunity to suggest something specific another time.
[size=10]The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.[/size]
[size=9]Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)[/size]
The beard is not just exclusive to Muslims you know.
I have been invited to the pub....once.
i was invited to the pub after work before, and I said 'no thanks, i don't drink' and they all laughed cos they thought i was joking. then the next week they invited me again and i had to make it PROPER clear to them that i REALLY don't drink cos im a muslim. now they don't invite me to the pub, but they are a bit scared of me (alhamdulillah!).
but i think its good they keep inviting you, even out of politeness. it shows they're not intentionally leaving you out.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
People actually do respect convictions.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
You might be misinterpreting their meaning or intententions. I have muslim friends who I invite to go out regularly. With my other friends it's understood I mean drinking alcohol, but with muslims I generally mean to communicate I do not want them to feel left out, and that I do not mean that they should drink alcohol (unless they want to). "Drink" is anything from ice water to vodka depending on what they are comfortable with.
And that is the key word - comfort. No friend or host wants to make their friends uncomfortable. Inviting some of your friends out and deliberately leaving others out places them in an uncomfortable or ambiguous situation. I want my friends to know I am thinking about them and consider their feelings, ergo I invite them out. By that same token I do not want to pressure them into doing something that makes them uncomfortable. I prefer to be known as the guy that makes you feel welcome and easy.
This is so with most non muslims and people in general, make certain that they are just asking you out for a "drink" meaning anything liquid that is consumable and you are comfortable with... as opposed to an alcoholic beheverage. Even then consider the possibility they are only asking to stand on propriety and not leave you feeling left out.
what about asking non-muslim friends out to the mosque? i've done this once or twice and people have looked at me in mild horror lol!
i used to go to pubs for a little while after i converted, mainly because most of my friends were non-muslim. i didn't really like the atmosphere though; it was fine until precisely 9.37pm when suddenly everyone got too drunk to talk properly and started shouting, slurring and saying things like 'ur my best mate, you are!'
now i try to organise meeting my non-Muslim friends earlier in the day, so they feel comfortable having a coffee (yes, i know this funds zionism!)
Don't just do something! Stand there.
All my friends no i dont drink, ppl at work always inviting me out to go clubbing or down the pub so i dont feel left out. Others that dont know me see the hijab and automatically know. When i go out with my friends (some of them who are non muslims) they no pubs and clubs are no go zone so we always do the usual, cinema, bowling, pizza hut
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
what's there to get annoyed or insulted about? If they invite you for a drink just simply decline, explain why without giving a lecture, and suggest a coffee shop instead, or suggest lunch together some other time. that way no offence taken on either side.
I wouldn't suggest the masjid, coz it's not like the person asked you to go to church, they were asking you to a social gathering, to chill out. So you can surely find an alternative venue where you can both go.
That's a bit different in my opinion - religion is a personal matter, and proselytising can be seen as intrusive... I don't go for that. Unless there is a prompt like if a muslim asked what we do in Churches et c I prefer to leave the topic alone.
Ya'qub, for you it is probably slightly different being a revert. People you knew before hand may not know or accept the changes. So, depending on the circumstances, it can probably get annoying. "How many times do I have to tell you! I am now Muslim"
But when anyone has asked me it has been more out of obligation. "We are all going... and it feels rude to not ask the other guy" type of thing.#
What complicated the matter is that a LOT of Muslims have started to drink aswell. A pretty recent phenomenon I think. This does dilute the "I am Muslim" argument.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
whenever i see a Muslim who drinks it saddens me immensely. here is a person who has been given the most important and beautiful gift and to treat it with such contempt and ignorance is really terrible. i feel this less in Britain, because i understand that peer-pressure and shaitan are both very strong, but when Muslims were openly drinking in Syria it really shocked and offended me.
however, i realise that Allah (swt) guides whom he wills, and plus I don't know how each person will turn out in the long run.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
It takes more than merely being born into a muslim family to ACTUALLY become a Muslim.
Back in BLACK
I've get asked nearly every day - and have been in this situation for over a year now.
I havent as of yet figured out if its cos they genuinly don't 'get it' or its cos they dont want me to feel left out.
Maybe its hard for them to understand that its cos I'am a Muslim, esp since other Muslims dont have an issue with joining them for a drink.
So very true. Because alot of muslims are now starting to drink non muslims are confused as to why some do drink and others dont. One of my uni friends (non muslim) has seen many muslims drinking in clubs while she has been out and therefore was under the impression that not be able to drink, club etc was linked to culture and how strict your parents are rather than with religion. I explained to her this was not the case and that it was in fact religion that prohibits all these things.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
Well either way the easiest way to handle this is to just explain to them that because of your religious beliefs you cannot drink alcohol, which is why you keep turning them down. Then you can say something like how much you appreciate that they did not want you to feel left out, but it is okay and you completely understand, so they don't have to ask you.
Or option number 2, just go and drink ice water.
Out of random curiosity, for those of you who have never had a drink before what do you think alcohol tastes like?
THE DEVIL'S BUM!!!
Don't just do something! Stand there.
All I know is that it (beer) stinks.
Wine probably has some taste of grapes in there...
am I close?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
imagine someone sticking a grape up the Devil's bum and taking out again: THATS wine.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Agree with Admin bout beer and wine. Stuff like barcardi and wkd has got a really fruity smell so im guessing like fizzy pop.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
...?
Well... I uhh... hadn't really thought about that before...
That's kind of what I thought people would say... I think it has something to do with the misleading way alcohol is advertised. Bacardi (and any hard liquor) [i]actually[/i] taste a lot like what I'd imagine gasoline tastes like... fumes and all. It quickly evaporates, burns, is incredibly dry compared to non alcoholic beverages and generally just sucks.
Wine is almost never sweet (and when it is sweet it is too sweet), the taste of wine is a lot like cough medicine, or is just plain bitter. If you have ever had unsweetened cranberry juice, that's pretty much the taste.
There are reasons for this, alcohol carries a lot of the same properties as gasoline (or any fuel) since... it is a fuel. It burns very quickly and cleanly for combustion, ergo no surprise (at least in my mind) that it would have similar chemical properties in other respects as well. And wine would taste a lot like cough medicine because they are chemically pretty damn similar too. Cough medicine has a large amount of alcohol in it, and if they attempt to flavor it to make it "taste better" they are usually adding a fruit flavor like cherries or grape or what have you.
But you'd think from looking at it that it would taste sweet and refreshing.
Now in fairness only raging alcoholics actually drink hard liquors straight up... usually they are mixed with fruity substances or something to that effect, or chilled so much that you can't taste it anymore.
But anyway, it's NOTHING like how it is sold. You see these images on TV of some dark red substance with condensation all over the bottle and all these tropical settings in the background and naturally think "fruity" but it's nothing like that at all.
You've obviously never been out in Britain on a friday night. "A couple of cheeky tequilas?" etc
I was drinking Jamaican Overproof Rum (60% alcohol) without any mixer-drink when I was 15 (not an exaggeration). It was absolutely horrible, but then again my friends made me think it was cool.
i never enjoyed drinking or getting drunk really, i never did it very often, i just used to do it because it seemed that society expected me to.
When I gave up drinking (long before I converted) my friends actually got offended! "What your not drinking? :shock: Are you ill? why don't you drink? :? Atleast one to be socialable!? :evil: " They ended getting a bit angry with me, and I put this down to some deep-seated guilt that they feel for drinking themselves.
@Dave:
pub-culture, binge-drinking and alcoholism is, i think, much more of a issue/problem in Britain than America or even other parts of Europe. so for a Muslim to refuse to accompany people to the pub or wherever is much more of an issue over here than what you may have encountered
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Not quite true. I don't drink often but I appreciate a good single malt Scotch and wouldn't mix it with anything but a dash of mineral water. I wouldn't down it in one either. I can hold or sit with a dram for hours taking only occasional sips.
And I don't mind a good vodka either, cold and straight.
The ability to drink in genteel moderation is quite a Jewish trait (although you wouldn't know it walking down Ben Yehuda Street some nights). After Shabbat or celebratory services is usually a kiddush over an amount of wine or whisky that wouldn't fill a thimble.
It's a case of horses for courses. The next time I get a good batch of A'bunadh I definitely won't be looking for notes of Devil's Bum. I like of good glass of red or rosé as well. Ya'qub has given me a new description for the ones I don't like.
[size=10]The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.[/size]
[size=9]Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)[/size]
It looks like Apple Juice. But I imagine it tastes like grape juice.
Whenever I have this drink, I imagine that this is what wine must taste like.
[url=http://www.shloer.com/flavours/white-grape-shloer.shtml]SHLOER[/url]
its a BIT like schloer, but only if someone had left it to go sour and to start to rot. which is basically what it actually is!
Don't just do something! Stand there.