1. You go to drop off one person to the airport, but you take 50 extra people with you
>
>2. Your entire family runs the marathon when they see a dog (calmly walking on the other side of the road)
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>3. Your cousin is said to have "gone abroad to get married", but you know he’s doing time in prison
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>4. You were taught never to talk to strangers at primary school, yet your parents force you to call a complete stranger "Auntie"
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>5. Your uncles crack jokes that aren’t even funny
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>6. "Paracetamol" is your cure to every illness
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>7. You somehow think you’re related to Prince Naseem Hamed
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>8. Your remote control is still in its plastic packet
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>9. You use your religion to get yourself out of almost anything
>e.g. P.E, class discussions, debates, etc.
>
>10. You secretly meet your boyfriend/girlfriend in the most obvious places (e.g. your front garden) and expect NOT to get caught by your parents
>
>11. "GET YOUR BACK-UP DOWN" and "KICK OFF!" is your solution to every problem
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>12. You studied A’ Level Maths but still think it’s possible to fit 100 people into 1 car
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>13. You wear sunglasses in hail, sleet and snow
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>14. You accuse the shopkeeper of being racist when he kindly asks you to pay for your packet of crisps
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>15. Your mobile phone "just happens to ring" when you see a member of the opposite sex
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>16. You hire a convertible in mid-December
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>17. You secretly watch "ZEE T.V." but pretend you’ve never heard of it
>
>18. "My mate wants to check ya!" is secretly your chat-up line
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>19. Your car is better than your house
>
>20. You think you’re part of the MAFIA, yet you study Law
>
>21. You seem to think that this list DOES NOT apply to you
>
>22. You become obsessed with a member of the opposite sex, ring their house everyday, follow them home…and get rejected (you then ask out their best mate)
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>23. You think it’s a sin if you admit you’ve revised before an exam
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>24. You wonder why the person you fancy doesn’t come over when you and your mates scream, "Yo! Come over ‘ere!"
>
>25. At the age of 30, you still think you can get away with paying child fare on the bus
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>26. You have a telephone at home but nobody is (ever) allowed to use it
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>27. You find a photo of a man with bushy hair, white shoes and sunglasses…you ask who he is and find out it’s your uncle
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>28. Your wear DKNY yet your mum buys material from Longsight Market
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>29. You’ve failed your driving test 6 times, but you’ve been driving for the past 3 years
>
>30. In the primary school nativity plays you were always the donkey in the background (and if you were extra lucky, you were given the part of the villager)
>
>31. You’re related to your husband/wife even before you’ve married them
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>32. The bus never stops for you
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>33. You’re the last person to see your wedding card … and the person you’re getting married to
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>34. Even your underwear is designer
>
>35. You dance at a complete stranger’s wedding (and claim you are a distant relative)
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>36. You somehow think you were involved in Tu Pac’s death
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>37. You drive your car around the same spot for 10 years playing music that was out in ’95
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>38. You achieve A*’s in every subject and your parents tell you to STUDY HARDER
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>39. Your car is better than your house
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>40. Universities let you in for Medicine just by looking at you
>
>41. You are offended by this list and you’re going to make a complaint about it
>
>42. At home you have a butcher’s knife which is bigger than your head
>
>43. Wilmslow Road is like a second home to you
>
>44. There is a tub of "PRIDE GHEE" and a sack of "TILDA BASTMATI" in your hallway
>
>45. Your mum asks you what you want to be when you’re 6 six years old and you say, "a Bollywood Superstar"…ten years later you’re still saying the same thing
>
>46. You can’t go to certain places because your Uncle works there
>
>47. You think you’re life is just ONE BIG INDIAN FILM
>
>48. You somehow think you are a member of the F.B.I and therefore have to have code-name for everything e.g. T.P.
>
>49. You seem to think that an ordinary car is a racing car and ordinary roads are racing tracks, thus explaining why you speed around thinking you’re Damon Hill
>
>50. You were forced to watch Indian films during your childhood, and then your parents wonder why you lack in intelligence
>
>51. You are over-dressed for every occasion and seem to take it as a joke when someone calls you "Garry Glitter"
>
>52. You hardly ever take prescribed medicines because your parents have their own herbal cures at home
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>53. Unknown "relatives" start ringing your house on the day that your exam results are coming out
>
>54. You are unable to open your front door because of the pile of shoes blocking the way
>
>55. Your Auntie has permed, dyed, damaged hair
>
>56. Your parents have a PANIC ATTACK when something dirty comes on t.v.
>
>57. A member of your family claims that they once used to live in the Taj Mahal
>
>58. You have 3 hobbies CHILL, CHILL and CHILL
>
>59. You have to offer guests tea even before they’ve stepped into your house
>
>60. You address every other Asian person on the planet as "your cousin"
>
>61. You think you have the ability to take on the entire police force
>
>62. You dress identical to your friends and your favourite colour is black
>
>63. Girls Your brother thinks he’s your dad
>
>64. Your wedding takes place in either a community centre or a crappy restaurant on Wilmslow Road
>
>65. You know how an Indian film will end even before it’s started (but you still watch it)
>
>66. You’re related to your doctor
>
>67. You go to a wedding with an empty car, but on the way back you end up giving the entire population of the wedding a lift home (and you haven’t seen half of these people in your life)
>
>68. At school, your parents were never aware of Parents’ Evening (…and if they did attend Parents’ Evening and you got a bad report, you told them that the teachers were all racist)
>
>69. You arrive late at every party
>
>70. At weddings the cameraman only ever cameras you when you’re eating
>
>71. Your phone line has been cut off at home, yet you own more than one mobile phone
>
>72. In primary school, your parents forced you to wear a glittery jumper with cats on it
>
>73. In high school, you teacher kept asking you if you were "forced to do things"
>
>74. In college, you either witnessed or were involved in a fight
>
>75. In University, you went to a Bhangra gig that ended with a big fight involving weird men wearing glittery pants and tacky golden earrings
>
>76. Your dad wears big, tinted-coloured sunglasses from the 60s (don’t even get us started on the yellow shirts)
>
>77. The closest you can get to appearing on Ricki Lake is CAFÉ 21
>
>78. Your parents find no criticisms in an Indian film where some guy jumps off a cliff and jumps back up again, people burst into song when their relatives are dying, evil politicians rule the world, and even the police don’t give a crap (and then they wonder why you prefer to watch "Eastenders")
>
>79. At parties, you wear more glitter and sparkly bits than a Christmas tree
>
>80. You get over-excited when you see another Asian person on t.v.
>
>81. You have attended every MELA ever organised
>
>82. You accuse your cousin of fancying you
>
>83. You lie to your parents about where you’ve been
>
>84. You know the name of every Asian person in College/University, and they know your name…but you never let on
>
>85. You know the lyrics to every Indian song ever written, but you deny it
>
>86. You come home to the sounds of Sunrise Radio
>
>87. Your parents force you to listen to old Indian/Ghazal songs
>
>88. Your auntie always wants you to have a secret relationship with her son/daughter.
>
>89. You are constantly being compared to every other Asian kid on the Planet
>
>90. You pronounce English words in a typical accent when speaking to your parents e.g. toilet "Toylat"
>
>91. You never go to the library "to work"
>
>92. Your phone number is x-directory
>
>93. A member of the opposite sex simply says "hello" and you accuse them of stalking you
>
>94. You receive phone numbers from complete strangers (either that or you’re handing your number out to complete strangers)
>
>95. You own a gold chain with your name engraved on it
>
>96. Guys you lock your sister up and then go out chilling yourself
>
>97. You have cousins that you’ve never even heard of
>
>98. At Bollywood superstar concerts you’re more interested in the people in the audience than the actual stars performing the show
>
>99. You wonder why people stare when you hire out a grand limousine for a wedding in a run down community centre located in the middle of nowhere
>
>100. You have received a prank phone call at least once in your life
>
>101. When celebrating a religious festival, you suddenly feel the need to scream and shout, dance on top on restaurants, cars… and even your friend’s shoulders for that matter View High Resolution

sue me 4 wot they not all on da jokes page

"F4NZO" wrote:

i was jokin bruv chill out

lol......u betta be

jokin chill

and if u dont then wot!!!!!!!!!!!! :evil: :evil:

hahahaahahha....... most of that is there 2