yes indeed omrow ur a funny man use this thread but wisely likw me

he died 25 years ago in a tragic bird accident

who killed it big time and why

Ways To Tell You're Asian

You go to drop off one person to the airport, but you take 50 extra people with you

Your entire family runs the marathon when they see a dog (calmly walking on the other side of the road)

Your cousin is said to have "gone abroad to get married", but you know he's doing time in prison

Your uncles crack jokes that aren't even funny

"Paracetamol" is your cure to every illness

Your mobile phone "just happens to ring" when you see a member of the opposite sex

You hire a convertible in mid-December

You secretly watch "ZEE T.V." but pretend you've never heard of it

"My mate wants to check ya!" is secretly your chat-up line

Your car is better than your house

You think you're part of the MAFIA, yet you study Law

You seem to think that this list DOES NOT apply to you

You think it's a sin if you admit you've revised before an exam

At the age of 30, you still think you can get away with paying child fare on the bus

You're related to your husband/wife even before you've married them

Your mum asks you what you want to be when you're 6 six years old and you say, "a Bollywood Superstar"...ten years later you're still saying the same thing

You think you're life is just ONE BIG INDIAN FILM

You were forced to watch Indian films during your childhood, and then your parents wonder why you lack in intelligence

Unknown "relatives" start ringing your house on the day that your exam results are coming out

You think you have the ability to take on the entire police force

You know how an Indian film will end even before it's started (but you still watch it)

You go to a wedding with an empty car, but on the way back you end up giving the entire population of the wedding a lift home (and you haven't seen half of these people in your life)

At school, your parents were never aware of Parents' Evening (...and if they did attend Parents' Evening and you got a bad report, you told them that the teachers were all racist)

At weddings the cameraman only ever cameras you when you're eating

Your parents find no criticisms in an Indian film where some guy jumps off a cliff and jumps back up again, people burst into song when their relatives are dying, evil politicians rule the world, and even the police don't give a crap (and then they wonder why you prefer to watch "Eastenders")

You get over-excited when you see another Asian person on t.v.

You are constantly being compared to every other Asian kid on the Planet

You never go to the library "to work"

Your phone number is x-directory
You have cousins that you've never even heard of

You wonder why people stare when you hire out a grand limousine for a wedding in a run down community centre located in the middle of nowhere

Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Blonde Kidnapper
A blonde was down on her luck.

In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "Ive kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "Ive kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."

The blonde pinned the note to the kids shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

TEACHER: If you had one pound, and asked your mother for another pound, how much money would you have?
USMAN: One pound
TEACHER: You obviously don't know much bout arithmetics
USMAN: You obviously don't know much bout my mother!

One day in a school in London, a teacher said to a class of 5-year-olds,
I'll give 10 pounds to the child who can tell me who was the most famous
man who ever lived.

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."
The teacher said, "Sorry Paddy, that's not correct."

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."

Finally, a Gujji Patel boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus
Christ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Raj, come up here and I'll
give you the 10 pounds that I promised."

As the teacher was giving Raj his money, she said, "You know Raj, since
you're a Patel; I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."

Raj replied, "Yes. In my heart I knew it was Krishna, but business is
business!"

I HOW DARE YOU PUT ME WITH THE LIKES OF G.W BUSH all u had 2 say was f4nzo walked into a bar and the barman says:
is thi somse sort of joke

Fanzo walks into a bar,bartender says:
oh you got to be kidding me!!

That hurt .......not really

hold up hold up hold up osama's there? im young kikd lookin for wife .....maybe its not an alcoholic bar its a muslim bar