"MuslimSister" wrote:

Yeh, I found it intresting too. My dress size also does not reflect my great love of food.

I'm also all of the above. Its weird stuff.

In my case its also a genetic thing.

lol well you're extremely lucky. I am not one of those people and it's really depressing. Ever since I got married I've been eating a lot more and working out a lot less... I'm feeling kind of fat and guilty since, from a Christian point of view, I'm supposed to be in better shape for the benefit of my wife. (1 Corinthians 7:4 for anybody confused by that cryptic reference)

The problem is if I eat a slice of cheesecake I gain like 240 pounds, whereas people like you or my wife can eat the same slice of cheesecake and have no effect! It's rather torturous saying no to dessert for two reasons: 1. I really like dessert and everything she makes is d-licious and 2. I don't want to hurt her feelings.

But I think she wants a fit Dave much than a full one...

Out of curiosity where did you learn about the correllation between personality and body type (or in my case metabolism)? I've noticed it but never really considered there to be scientific weight behind it.

I now try and only eat unhealthy food whenever I can but I still can't seem to gain any weight. I normally miss breakfasts and lunch the day I got uni and always make up for it by having crisps, chocolates and drinks. My family, cousins and friends always keep saying to me "When will you gain some weight". But they don't seem to understand that slim people can have problems gaining weight just like fat people can have problems losing weight.

Dave I hear you're into games, so have you tried playing the [url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6376637.stm]Nintendo Wii[/url], should help you with the weight issues you're having :twisted:

Btw I also heard it somewhere that thinking alot also burns calories, so it's both mental and physical exercise that does it. So playing games all day doesn't necessarily mean that it's unhealthy if it's burning up calories, I myself play alot of games so might explain half of it.

eating unhealthily can ahve other side effects, like bad memory so I would advise against it.

If you aer naturally skiny, don't try to bulk up.

Vanity can cause alot of problems.

I miss breakfasts coz I wake up late, and miss lunch coz I always seem to be busy at that time, so I have to eat junk instead. There isn't a chip shop near my uni as I always had it when I went to college so instead I have crisps, chocolate and drinks.

It's not that I choose to eat junk, but I have to. The shops at our uni get subsidies but the food they sell is far too expensive, a tuna sandwich costs more than £2. With that money you can buy a drink, crisp, a chocolate bar and still have change left. And don't even think about saying why don't you have packed lunch.

[color=indigo][b]Talking of tuna sandwiches... bham greggs tuna sandwich is ewwww.. the dopy woman had sum watery stuff instead of mayo and the bread was soo hard and thick!

I also learnt bham is crap for shopping! Came back empty handed, well apart from 2 flags.. and the only decent shop on alum rck rd is da one islamic shop wid all owais qadris stuff. I was shocked to see the amount of ninjas there, MashAllah so many sisters der do the niqaab, here you'll rarely see a niqaabi.[/b][/color]

I learnt that even if I have driven in an area several times, I can still get lost. Today I was driving home from Ilford, and circled the area 3 times before I found the 'exit'. I also nearly had a collision because I didn't look at my mirrors before changing lanes....and got a finger shown at me.

We've got alot of sisters wearing the niqab here aswell, it was veeery different 10 years ago.

I don't think I learned anything today.

"MuslimBro" wrote:

I now try and only eat unhealthy food whenever I can but I still can't seem to gain any weight. I normally miss breakfasts and lunch the day I got uni and always make up for it by having crisps, chocolates and drinks. My family, cousins and friends always keep saying to me "When will you gain some weight". But they don't seem to understand that slim people can have problems gaining weight just like fat people can have problems losing weight.

Dave I hear you're into games, so have you tried playing the [url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6376637.stm]Nintendo Wii[/url], should help you with the weight issues you're having :twisted:

Btw I also heard it somewhere that thinking alot also burns calories, so it's both mental and physical exercise that does it. So playing games all day doesn't necessarily mean that it's unhealthy if it's burning up calories, I myself play alot of games so might explain half of it.

u dont eat ur lunch or ur breakfast -

u eat some junk food

and then moan about not putting on weight

start EATING

and if despite not eating ur STILL cant put on weight

THEN u can moan about it

"MuslimSister" wrote:

I've learnt...

Sometimes, I forget how to have fun. I forget how important it is to prioritise ‘fun’ in our timetable.

I have a really bad tendency to put my finger in every pie….I often bite more than I can chew (metaphorically).

I’ve forgotten how to ice skate.

One of the most profound things I've ever heard came from some cheesy science fiction flick I was watching one day. "My shoes are too tight, and I've forgotten how to dance."

People tend to overemphasize their professional life, there's a great deal of "life appreciation" we should set ourselves to in a day.

When I said I don't eat breakfast or lunch, I didn't mean to say I don't eat anything at all.

I eat junk instead of having the traditional cereal for breakfast or the fish and chips for lunch.

I only do it three days a week; the days I have uni.

If you eat the things I do then you'd be a size 20 by now :twisted:

"MuslimBro" wrote:

I eat junk instead of having the traditional cereal for breakfast or the fish and chips for lunch.

:

so ur eating junk INSTEAD of eating proper meals

so how exactly are u eating extra food?

u could moan about not putting on weight ONLY if ur ate large meals, three times a day, EVERY DAY, heavy on the carbs AND ate lots of junk but at the same time but STILL was unable to put on weight

i did that when i was in high school - i'd miss breakfast and lunch - just eat junk and have a meal in the evening

and thats why i didnt put on weight

now i make sure i eat three meals a day - and junk when i feel like it

"MuslimSister" wrote:

...Maths STILL has the ability to make me feel thick and useless.

Then learn to realise that the majority of people also hate maths for the same reason. Try not to let it get to you. Some people are better at somethings whilst not so good with others. Just lye down and the feeling will pass.

"MuslimSister" wrote:

...Maths STILL has the ability to make me feel thick and useless.

Yep same here. I can do it, just not instantly like some people. My younger brother mashallah is brilliant at maths, he can do those maths questions on Countdown just like that, often in half the time.

there are always short cuts.

2 5 and 10 help alot in multiplication and division.

They can also be easier than say a 7, a 13 etc, but if you do not do it properly. it can be as cinfusing as hell, and may take too much time.
There are other short cuts but since I have not needed maths for a while, i have more or less forgotten.

Practice really matters.

"Admin" wrote:

there are always short cuts.

2 5 and 10 help alot in multiplication and division.

They can also be easier than say a 7, a 13 etc, but if you do not do it properly. it can be as cinfusing as hell, and may take too much time.
There are other short cuts but since I have not needed maths for a while, i have more or less forgotten.

Practice really matters.

Thats true... i find 2,3,5,9+10 multiplications really easy.

Heck anyone can do their 9 times table aslong as they have 10 fingers to count on. e.g. 9 x 1 =(show all 10 fingers and then put one finger down... how many fingers left? equals the right answer) 9 (so you put 1 finger down). 9 x 2 = (put your second fingers down... what do you have a 1 and an 8... therefore the answer is 18). Neat trick.... worked wonders when i was a kid.

I remember that.

That's all basic stuff though, I'm sure her test is going to be more complex than that. It'll probably be short scenario's where she'll have to listen quite carefully to actually figure out the question.

I too am not good with mental arithmetic. And yeah when I know I'm up against the clock it's all I can hear!

As Admin said practice as much as you can coz you can get out of it.

If you're allowed to do working out, then don't be embarrassed and do as much as you need to help you reach the answer. As your listening to the question quickly jot it down also. If you hear a later question you know you won't be able to do, you can then go back to it. If the timing really is an issue then it may even be better to ignore one question so you can concentrate on the previous one and complete it - it's better to get one question complete than to have 2 half answered.

Today I had a refresher course in maintaining a commitment to your country, and I also learned how over simplified my priorities are.

"Don Karnage" wrote:

Today I had a refresher course in maintaining a commitment to your country, and I also learned how over simplified my priorities are.

"*DUST*" wrote:

lol, so i take it you're [i]not[/i] moving to switzerland...?

That's unrelated... I was ordered to do something that took time away I had planned for my family, I explained that to my captain who basically told me that this was more important.

I politely disagreed.

He impolitely disagreed.

I politely resisted the urge to throw his precious coffee mug at his door... for a little over 2 minutes.

Then he sent me on my merry little way and yelled I'd be spending 4 months instead of two now. There goes my whole freaking summer.

I've got an over simplified view of the world, first comes God then my Family and then my Country and then myself. Now I've always thought items 1, 2 and 3 wouldn't crash but I didn't count on my country saying "Hey! Give us your summer instead of your family like you promised your wife!" so after explaining this (and seriously what kind of idiot would disagree with that arrangement of priorities) to my captain I thought he'd "get it" and make other arrangements. Instead he said as far as he is concerned the air force is my god, wife and country and I'm going to do it. He had some other nasty things to say so when I had enough I smashed that stupid thing to 500 pieces - he prays to it, it's like his idol. He claims President Reagan gave it to him, and seeing as the guy is a waste of life it's like the only significant thing that's ever happened to him.

I'm going to do it because technically he's right, I can't refuse an order, but I'm not freaking happy about it.

omg you smashed a mug?! :shock: dave you need to take some sorta anger management course, i get that he screwed you over but [i]still[/i]... you can't go around wrecking ppl's stuff.

For anger management I have heard that a closed fist striking a face can help... for anger management only.

Can muddy up everything else.

lol, not helping admin...:P

"*DUST*" wrote:

omg you smashed a mug?! :shock: dave you need to take some sorta anger management course, i get that he screwed you over but [i]still[/i]... you can't go around wrecking ppl's stuff.

...yea...

I've got a [b]huge[/b] temper problem... It's not just physical stuff, I can also be pretty verbally abusive when somebody pushes my buttons the wrong way. I take everything personally, over react to almost everything, I've been doing anger management for about 10 years now and I've got a psychologist... we talk about this among many other things.

I'll handle slights and continued slights peacefully and without physical force for a little bit, growing more agitated every time the person doesn't stop... then I just kinda... snap.

Now there are rules about this - it's only with other guys, I've never and would never hurt a girl or a kid or old person. It's specific kinds of guys too - usually type-A opinionated jocks - you know the type, the ones that say irritating things just to see if they can get away with it.

The other category of people is anybody who looks at, talks to or makes eye contact with my wife in a manner than irks me the wrong way. I'm ultra supremely unbelievably jealous. Similarly any kind of "threat" vibe I get from anybody about my kids I slip into anger mode.

Now this is all well and good when there is something rational behind it - but very often it's not the case. I don't get into fights as much anymore but I used to constantly sometimes with random strangers for trying to talk to her - now in fairness it's not like I really gave them enough time to find out she had a boyfriend. My thought process is "hey there is annette! WHO THE HELL IS THAT GUY?!?!"

Likewise with my kids I told our former doctor that he was dismissed because I thought he was creepy. Truthfully he's just a weird guy, but in my mind weird can be a lot of things and frankly I'm not forgiving enough to find out how benign he was.

I dunno... I really do need to get this under control, my psychologist said it is all wrapped up in my OCD, just like with germs or other things I get these irrational thoughts that do not go away so I obsess over them, then I compulsively (and violently) act out against them.

It bothers me because I consider myself a decently intelligent and self disciplined person - I'm not Einstein, but when I am constantly being baited into violent outbursts or going off on people for things blown out of proportion it gives people the impression I'm some kind of goomba - big stupid and out of control.

I'm kind of a mess... I've been working through a lot of stuff over the last decade and a half and there is still a lot left on the to do list...

Honestly my wife has been the best person for me with this and everything else... she notices things about me that I don't notice and gives me different kind of advice than my psychologist.

Incidentally, I am giving serious consideration to Malta - it a small Island nation and we all love the Ocean, it's ultra religious - 98% Roman Catholic, the highest Mass attendance rates in Europe and their bishopric was founded by St. Paul, they speak English, they put their money where their mouth is and have banned abortions, divorce, and various other sinful activities, there is mandatory religious instruction in schools AND [i]technically[/i] Annette, her father and I are already citizens because of the SMOM affiliation.

The problem is convincing her to move thousands of miles away from her parents.

However after talking to Esteban he shared some of the same concerns and expressed a desire to move to Andalusia in Spain - a mere hop skip and jump from Malta. Of course he also pointed out where we all presently live in South Carolina people are moral religious and not so much into the Hollywood gliterati thing.

He does have a point... and I do not want to separate her from her parents so for the time being I'm just going to have to put up with all this.

To a certain extent it is regional... Boston and New York are the North which is a much different culture

Everything you both are saying is true... and I completely agree unfortunately I can't seem to actually do it in the heat of the moment... when I need to exercise restraint - and the reason is always the same... it's not that I lack self control in the heat of the moment, it's that in my mind it's telling me that this is appropriate rage and it is different from my usual outbursts and that something terrible will happen if I don't do something.

Which of course is balogne most of the time.

I guess the problem is distinguishing genuine times where an intimidating reaction is appropriate, and times where it is all in my head... on the fly when I am "hijacked" it's just too visceral to tell the difference.

I usually feel embarassed and bad about it afterward, because after the fog of war is lifted I can see all the places where I could have done something different. Mostly I'm afraid I will embarass my wife or hurt somebody seriously... I realize I'm not a small person and can do damage if I do not restrain myself. That is the worst problem - even with that mugger, I'd consider that an appropriate time to use force, but he is never going to see out of that eye again and that definitely left an impression on me... so much so that I've been talking to my psychologist alot since then.

The other one that's been haunting me was the scene at the airport a while ago... again on the one hand I feel justified since absolutely nobody touches my wife period. But on the other hand there were options left on the table, like asking questions or demanding to speak with the airport manager... or just not taking the flight.

But instead I decided to haul off and punch people like rambo, causing a massive scene landing myself in huge trouble and leaving her off somewhere in the periphery saying "honey please calm down"

She's been very helpful sorting out some of these problems, since I can talk to her. The other day we were talking about the Air Force and she asked why if I hate the Air Force and I hate the law I am doing something that combines the two... so I answered that sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the things you care about, and she asked why I thought the military or the law were the only two ways to serve my community.

I needed to think about that one... my response was idiotic. I basically told her (paraphrasing and self-mocking here) that men run around with clubs and beat stuff over the head because it's manly, so since men have to serve their country in a manly fashion, men should run around beating people over the head with clubs for their country.

She said there were many ways strength can be used to serve your community, and not all as force... like volunteering for your fire department, or doing charity work (which she is so adamant about) - frankly I do not think very much of charity events since it usually means cutting a check and congratulating fellow snobs for being so generous as to donate .000000000001% of their net worth to some cause they think will make them look good.

But the fire department I never thought about... in fact there are lots of brave adventurous - but community serving activities I had never thought of that don't involve trying to suck up to the brass to get my flight status unrevoked so I can blow up people in the sky.

It might sound kind of Spartan but I really had never considered that there are ways to employ strength in the service of ones country that do not involve the military. But considering every male member of my family going back to Alexander has been in some branch of the military it's difficult to face the possibility of not living up to that.

She pointed out that a lot of my thinking is geared toward aggressiveness... like being a good husband and father means being ultra aggressive toward threats, being a good Christian means being ultra aggressive towards sin, being a good american means being aggressive towards foreign threats.

She had a lot of insight is my point, it's nice to know that there is at least one person in the entire world that will always be honest with you, always expect the best from you and always respect you no matter what.

My psychologist is a twit. I have no idea why I still bother with her, she asks me lots of probing questions, chews on her pen then says our time is up. A couple years ago she got kinda creepy and would ask me if I had plans for the weekend or to go and have a drink with her later.

I'm kind of a loyalty leech though, once somebody is admitted into my entourage it's kinda hard for me to let go of them.

Right... so... anyway, I am aware I've got "anger issues," interestingly enough I've gotten some great advice from Dawud on the forum about this for the last year or so, so (publicly) thanks!