Salaam
In Islam obedience to parents as long as it does not contradict obedience to Allah (swt) is stressed..
Some scholars in the Hanafi madhab state that, if a parent calls a child, and he/she is reading Nafil Salaah, he has to break it and tend to the parents.
How far would you obey your parents? Isn’t it correct to say that some parents are easier to obey then others?
Or does it depend on the situation? Would you obey your parents if they told you which career to take? Whom you should marry? And where you can/cant go?
What crosses the line for you in matters of obedience?
A friend of mine has a terrible relationship with her parents…because of this she find it easy to disobey them, others find it more difficult to disobey their parents because of their emotional attachment towards them…
Would you tell your parents that they were in the wrong if they were?
Wasalaam
It is true that in Islam we should obey our parents to the fullest. However if our parents are misguided and taking the wrong route it is obligatory (farz) on us the children to correct them and to show them the way.
This does not mean by shouting at them or making them feel inferior but out of love to tell them the true way.
This is the beauty of Islam it does not discriminate against any agenda wether it's age, sex, race, etc.
A black person can guide a white person and vice versa. A woman can guide a man and vice versa. A child can guide an adult and vice versa.
We should all learn from one another and be openminded to suggestions and ideas aslong as they don't go against the teaching of Allah S.W.T. We should not have a closed mind or be narrowminded because this can make someone iggnorant and arrogant and is not the civilised way of doing things.
We should listen to everyone and hear what they have to say, then make our own mind wether its feasible or not. We all make our own bed, we can only take advice of others.
For example our parents can only guide us and show us the way but ultimately it is we who have to act upon it or not.
You can shout and scream until you are blue in the face to a person but they will only act upon youre advice when they feel they are good and ready.
For example i could go up to a particular person who hardly ever reads salaat and always be on his/her case to read. I could give them the benefits and advantages of salaat, i could give them information of the punishment for not reading salaat, i could literally drag them to the masjid by force. But the salaat will only count if he/she is willing to read and if they out of their own choice go and read salaat.
By me always being on their case and always in their face could in some scenarios make them see the light or could create an even larger barrier between us.
Its all up the the person, we all make our own bed and eventually lay in it.
We can only give advice, but cannot force.
Islam is the Key to paradise but without practice it won't open the gates.
I rarely listened to mine and their advice is usually worthless... we're cordial now and that's good but the more I hang out with my wife and her family the less I respect my own.
how come?
Islam is the Key to paradise but without practice it won't open the gates.
Well, not every family works out, for many reasons some just fail. And when they do you can get to a point where everyone decides it's just not worth another try. So you work something out so you can get along and be civil, but that's as far as you take it.
I undersand sorry to hear that, you should try to put your differnces a side and just try and work as a family, work on the things you have in common.
Islam is the Key to paradise but without practice it won't open the gates.
I certainly hope you don't understand. It's not that one day we were a nice happy family and some differences came along which created a divide, it's that we just aren't a family and never were... as near as I've ever been able to determine it's a relationship based on nothing. Like I look at my wifes family (I've known her for a long time) and hers was always based on God and love and culture and all this other good stuff. Mine was based on money, political power and alcohol. So there are no differences to put aside (as there were and I have put them aside) it's that there is no relationship, never was, and we're all so dramatically different we had no desire to build one. Mom thinks she does but that's because she is lonely, that will pass.
Having a "family" now would sort of be like 3 strangers meeting on a bus and deciding to become a family, it's just messed up...
Ironically I'm really close to my extended family.
There are lots of different kinds of families, not every one works.
Really sorry to hear that, but try being there for youre mum, There's a saying in Islam which i think is very true its that, paradise is under youre mother feet. make her happy and you will have paradise.
Islam is the Key to paradise but without practice it won't open the gates.
i obey whatever my parents tell me to do
except for issues relating to cooking, cleaning, getting a job and cutting down on music and the telly
lol
Islam is the Key to paradise but without practice it won't open the gates.
I hate housework too but I know its too much to expect mum to do it all so I do help, I know I should do more but housework is such a yawn!
I can't cook to save myself, I had aimed to learn how to cook by the end of summer and its already into July hmm don't know when my summer starts!