Family Life

Salaam

Do people ever owe anything to siblings?

If you have older brothers or sisters, do they owe you anything?

Do you owe younger siblings anything?

Do you have any rights over brothers and sisters? Do siblings have any rights over you?

"Admin" wrote:
If you have older brothers or sisters, do they owe you anything?

My brother owes me a tenner.

[color=magenta]i dont think i owe my brothers or sisters anythng like money n i dont fink they owe me even if they did thats wiped away i fink do owe them for the love and loyalty and for being fantastic bros n sis to me, i mean some bros and sis relationship well there isnt one.[/color]

[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]

by owing I do not mean in a financial sense.

I mean in a social/moral sense?

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Quote:
i fink do owe them for the love and loyalty and for being fantastic bros n sis to me, i mean some bros and sis relationship well there isnt one.

[color=magenta]thats what i mean, n theyve helped me out in sticky situations n without them id be in trouble[/color]

[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]

"Admin" wrote:
Salaam

Do people ever owe anything to siblings?

If you have older brothers or sisters, do they owe you anything?

Do you owe younger siblings anything?

Do you have any rights over brothers and sisters? Do siblings have any rights over you?

salaamz,

me and my bros and sisz owe our oldest bro everything for doing so much for us,
he gave up his studies and started working to provide for us coz dad was always travelling back n forth as his parents lived backhome. So personally I owe him for what his done in alll ways like giving me advice when i was on the downfall. May Allah bless him and his wife and their three adorable n loving kids.

I have a right on ma lil bro but I dont giv him advice at the moment coz if i do il be counted as a hypocrite but I do my best to help him live his life according to the sunna and the Qur'an.

Please pray that i can help him, ma two lil baby sistas n Myself live a good and virtious life. Everyone else is olda den us so they av 2 look afta us.

May Allah give us the strength to look after those who we av a responsibility ova,

Learn To Love The People Who Are Willing To Love You At Present. Forget The People In The Past & Thank Them For Hurting You, Which Lead You To Love The People You Have Right Now..

My dad died away when was 20 and my mum remarried. I've never got on with my stepdad. I think that my older brother should have stepped in and played the father role but he's always been too busy kissing up to his fob wife to care about this family.

I don’t think one “owes” anything to their siblings. Or to anyone for that matter.

However, the eldest is usually “expected” to look out for their younger bro/sisters and take on the motherly/fatherly role towards them.

I’m not very good in this department…when mum goes away for a few days; I don’t wait on my younger brother hand and foot like mum does, cos his lazy attitude bugs me.

"MuslimSister" wrote:
I don’t think one “owes” anything to their siblings. Or to anyone for that matter.

However, the eldest is usually “expected” to look out for their younger bro/sisters and take on the motherly/fatherly role towards them.

I’m not very good in this department…when mum goes away for a few days; I don’t wait on my younger brother hand and foot like mum does, [b]cos his lazy attitude bugs me.[/b]

With young'uns, they a bunch of kniving lil so n so's. Always gettin me into trouble.

Lazy attitude can only b cured with threats, n slippers, Positive Action from u, creates positive action from him. Its a shame it has 2 be dun, but its the only way.

People have changed indeed.

_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________

Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight

We do not 'owe' our siblings anything. Its all give and take. But liks MS said the elder siblings are usually supposed to take care of the younger ones and perhaps adopt a parental role.

But that falls more into sibling responsibilities. Although i dont think this is one of those cultural unspoken rules but more something the sibling wants to do.

Back in BLACK

"Seraphim" wrote:
said the elder siblings are usually supposed to take care of the younger ones and perhaps adopt a parental role.
.

Older siblings must take care of their younger brother and sister's. Those who do not are very selfish and only look out for number 1.

my brother owes me money

my older sister promised to take me to get my hair done-which she hasnt got round too

my younger sister is my lil darling-i do anything for me-i look after her as much as mum does

I owe her my life

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

[b]i do anything for me[/b]

LOL, so ur that type of person?

_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________

Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight

I'm 21 years old, an "adult", the eldest and supposedly the "mature" and "responsible" one, yet I still get provoked into getting into physical fights with my brother who is younger and a hellava lot stronger than me.

We've always shared a very delicate love/hate relationship.

"MuslimSister" wrote:
I'm 21 years old, an "adult", the eldest and supposedly the "mature" and "responsible" one, yet I still get provoked into getting into physical fights with my brother who is younger and a hellava lot stronger than me.

We've always shared a very delicate love/hate relationship.

What??? I stopped fighting my big sister when I was about eight because I was too strong and it wasn't a fair fight anymore.

Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.

Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes

Yeah, its not a fair fight...I stopped fighting with him a few years back. But even today he can wind me up so much that I end up thumping him one and usually end up hurting myself :?

Assalamu Alaikum,

I think we "owe" our siblings rights just as much as we owe rights to those we call our brothers and sisters in faith.

They would be inlcuded under the rights of kinship right?

We were born of the same womb. Share the same blood, and parents. Lived most of our lives together under the same roof how can we not "owe" them anything?

Regardless of the responsiblities of older siblings over younger ones, there are more important things we should remember to share with each other.

Often when a brother or sister gets married or moves away to university they become lax in keeping in touch with their siblings. This isn't right. We are obliged through the ties of kinship, if not love to keep the lines of communication open. Ask after their health. See if they are in need. Just call to show you care.

Visit them as much as possible. If you live in another country then you can at the very least call them once a week, send letters and maybe visit annually.

If you live near by do things together. Allow your kids to play with their kids. Go shopping or eat out together. Babysit for them if you have no kids etc etc.

When they are sick visit them, if you are far away at least pick up the phone ask about them.

If they are in financial need and you have the means to help them out, do so. Most of us would help out close friends who are in need like this so why not our own siblings?

Even if they are vindictive, manipulative and the most abhorrent individuals on earth, you should do the minimum to maintain ties, never cut them off completely.

I expect these same rights to be given to me by my siblings, it's not asking much.

"razor" wrote:
"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

[b]i do anything for me[/b]

LOL, so ur that type of person?

Yes

Dirol

"yashmaki" wrote:
Assalamu Alaikum,

I think we "owe" our siblings rights just as much as we owe rights to those we call our brothers and sisters in faith.

They would be inlcuded under the rights of kinship right?

We were born of the same womb. Share the same blood, and parents. Lived most of our lives together under the same roof how can we not "owe" them anything?

Regardless of the responsiblities of older siblings over younger ones, there are more important things we should remember to share with each other.

Often when a brother or sister gets married or moves away to university they become lax in keeping in touch with their siblings. This isn't right. We are obliged through the ties of kinship, if not love to keep the lines of communication open. Ask after their health. See if they are in need. Just call to show you care.

Visit them as much as possible. If you live in another country then you can at the very least call them once a week, send letters and maybe visit annually.

If you live near by do things together. Allow your kids to play with their kids. Go shopping or eat out together. Babysit for them if you have no kids etc etc.

When they are sick visit them, if you are far away at least pick up the phone ask about them.

If they are in financial need and you have the means to help them out, do so. Most of us would help out close friends who are in need like this so why not our own siblings?

Even if they are vindictive, manipulative and the most abhorrent individuals on earth, you should do the minimum to maintain ties, never cut them off completely.

I expect these same rights to be given to me by my siblings, it's not asking much.

well said yash... only problem is when it comes to giving them money... you know you'll never see it again. Although they may be all for family/kinship and such ties, they say money changes people and its true it does.

I prefer to keep family and business seperate.

Money-->> Root of all Evil

Back in BLACK

"Seraphim" wrote:
they say money changes people and its true it does.

I prefer to keep family and business seperate.

Money-->> Root of all Evil

marraige is also a source of problem

many siblings are best of friends before marraige

but after marraige they drift apart

sometimes cos the husband/wife dont like their bro/sister in law

or vice versa Cray 2 Cray 2

thing about money is if you lend to family, its best to just forget about it.

If then its not returned, it will not bother you. and if it is returned then its a bonus.

Yashmaki has made many valid points, but what about step-siblings? in such a case will there still be the same comeraderie? should there be? what if they lived separately?

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

"MuslimSister" wrote:
I'm 21 years old, an "adult", the eldest and supposedly the "mature" and "responsible" one, yet I still get provoked into getting into physical fights with my brother who is younger and a hellava lot stronger than me.

We've always shared a very delicate love/hate relationship.

Im 20, a lil bit off "adulthood", the oldest of the children in my household, by far the most immature in my household aswell Lol

Wen i ask one of my siblings summin, im normally given an ignorant answer, so i normally annoy em, n both my younger sisters, n brother, hav tempers on them. They try to attack me which is funny. Wat normally happens in this situation is, i dodge every attack, then the rest of the family joins in, it becomes a playful thing, its normally sisters, brother, mum n dad against me. To this day, only time i lose is wen they cheat n start tickling me (i may b very cool, but im very tickleish too)

MS, nex tym ya brother attakcs u, use ya shoes, hit him in the face, n bruise him, that'll teach him, if not, he'll atleast have a battle-scar Lol

_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________

Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight

"razor" wrote:

MS, nex tym ya brother attakcs u, use ya shoes, hit him in the face, n bruise him, that'll teach him, if not, he'll atleast have a battle-scar Lol

Lol-Don't tempt me..

Yesterday we got into a physical fight....He didnt hit me cos he knows he'd be battered by dad if he touched me...

The fight started with an argument and then he was in my face for five min provoking me to "hit him"...so I did.

Next time I won't rise to the bait. The boy has Iron Man strength. And I should know better.

Quote:
Lol-Don't tempt me..

Yesterday we got into a physical fight....He didnt hit me cos he knows he'd be battered by dad if he touched me...

The fight started with an argument and then he was in my face for five min provoking me to "hit him"...so I did.

Next time I won't rise to the bait. The boy has Iron Man strength. And I should know better.

As always, it just starts with an argument!!!

for me, i had it all, living with five sisters you will never get away....they always stick together against me no matter who is wrong!!!

But now i have the overall power as all started to fly away and get married!!!

MMUISOC
Shoulder by Shoulder, Feet to Feet

Same here..usually its me and my younger sister against my brother.

But for the past two days its been them two against me....Now I know how it feels. :?

Divide and conquer.

If an argumant is starting where they are united, add a seconds argument where they are opposed.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Quote:
If an argumant is starting where they are united, add a seconds argument where they are opposed.

cool bro..... Wink

MMUISOC
Shoulder by Shoulder, Feet to Feet

"MuslimSister" wrote:
Same here..usually its me and my younger sister against my brother.

But for the past two days its been them two against me....Now I know how it feels. :?

It seems u lack in the rules of war.

Accodin to Razor's book of warfare, if u cant win a fight alone, blackmail people into joinin ya army.

_____________- -SupeRazor- -_______________

Some ppl make their goals the stars.
They may live n die n never reach the stars,
but in the darkness of the night, those stars will guide them to their destination.
Becuz they made them in their eyesight

I know how it works...but ganging up on one person is not very nice, even if it does make your point/argument stronger.

A lot of politics can go on between siblings at times...

Isnt it weird how some siblings can be as different as chalk and cheese?

I was speaking to mum about this last night...basically, how my younger sister is only two years younger than me, we've shared a bedroom ever since she was born, we've walked to primary/secondary school together, we go to the same Uni today, we've recieved the same education and love from our parents, I consider her one of my best friends...yet if I was to start listing the differences in our personality/goals and outlook on life, I'd be here all day.