vanity and self-dillusionment.

The only true things people say about themselves are self-criticisms.

Salaam

My parents don’t even know me…that frustrates me sometimes.

My family visited extended family this weekend whilst I stayed at home. Apparently as usual the Revival magazine topic came up…mum loves that magazine and she’s always giving it out or telling people about the Website.

My dad said something like “Yes, I’m so proud of Madheia, she’s the subeditor of the Revival magazine”….and all my cousins and aunties/uncles started bombarding my Sis with questions…And that little Madam didn’t correct them either, she was telling them all about the articles she has supposedly written and distribution she supposedly reg carries out.

I’m grateful that my parents don’t sing my praises, only cos I KNOW how annoying and infuriating it is to hear other people bang on and on about their son/daughter….whenever I hear some aunty telling me about her fantastic son, the only thing I can think is “I’LL be the judge of that”.

The only thing that bugs me is when someone is putting me down, and mum doesn’t stand up for me…

Wasalaam

"Seraphim" wrote:

Hi all,

what i really dislike in some people is them bragging about themselves e.g. Oh im soo rich... ive got the latest shoes... oh my dads owns a huge mansion... ive got a mercades.... my son has a first class degree in blah blah blah! What is it with people who like to blow their own horn?

And if it was just people who bragged about their everyday stuff like above, id just ignore it as their mindless ranting. But when people brag and compare one person to another with the intent to put them down that just really grinds my gears.

Bragging and bigging one-self up is not a desirable characteristic. I dont mind innocent compliments or recognistion from other people as thats just a little praise for doing something good.

Asian parents are the worst at this. My mom will always say 'why dont you do this...' why dont you do that... like such a such persons son/daughter'

There are people who believe praise should only be reserved for God and thats right ofcourse, but genuine priase to people for doing something good is permissable in my opinon... aslong as its not OTT.

Do your parents compare you to other peoples kids?

Is it even permissable to praise others like this?

Are you guilty of biggin yourself up?

What are your thoughts on this?

Do you even hav thoughts?

haha thats funny when parents meet their childrens mates for the first time and the mates well act sensible and the parents are like aww there so sensible and well mannered and maybe they are but com on you've only seen them for five minutes, you aint seen the real them but try explaining that to ur parents and see ur self flying out the window lol wel nt literali but mentali

"MuslimSister" wrote:

My dad said something like “Yes, I’m so proud of Madheia, she’s the subeditor of the Revival magazine”….and all my cousins and aunties/uncles started bombarding my Sis with questions…And that little Madam didn’t correct them either, she was telling them all about the articles she has supposedly written and distribution she supposedly reg carries out.

lol aww poor MuslimSis, evil Lilsis. :twisted:

Salam

If the parents discover that their child has some sort of deficiency
then it would not only be wise to hide that fault from the child but
they ought to secretly work towards removing it.

It is no use disparaging the innocents. It has incalculable effect on their mind and soul.

It is certainly a bad idea to denounce your child by
camparing his weaknesses to talents of his peers.

Omrow

"*DUST*" wrote:

lol aww poor MuslimSis, evil Lilsis. :twisted:

LOL

praise for me is praise for her and vice versa-tis no biggie who recieves it -better me than her anyway :twisted:

some parents put me to sleep with their praise of their good for nothing sons/daughters

my lot neither praise nor cuss their kids

LOL, this prasing ya kids thing is funny, not only kids, an auntie gee, well a young lady who lives local comes over n isways on about her perfect husband who's gna do this and that, The poor fellow is married with 3 kids, n the wifey wants him, not only to work full time, but also, do property business on the side, and do a part time degree, and a course in business management, only a matter of time before the guy goes crazy im tellin ya.

But the Childrens praise is always funny,when an auntie gee is talkin bout her kids, i more than likely kno the person, and the character of the person, n sumhow these kids hide so much from there parents its not even funny.

To stop my parents from praisin me, (n they hav so much to praise) i always tell em the truth. See how it works is, i tell em almos every week im goin cinema;. Very often im goin out sumwher or another, pool, wateva, i always tel em uni is a waste of tym. Althoug, i do go to a lot of islamic talks n events, but that typa stuff no1 wants to hear neway.

Ya Digg my style? I know u do!!!

"Omrow" wrote:

Salam

If the parents discover that their child has some sort of deficiency
then it would not only be wise to hide that fault from the child but
they ought to secretly work towards removing it.

It is no use disparaging the innocents. It has incalculable effect on their mind and soul.

It is certainly a bad idea to denounce your child by
camparing his weaknesses to talents of his peers.

Omrow

What he said. Every word.

Very wise Omrow, very kind.

for all those 'elders' reading this adding a criticism to a compliment is about as welcome as a kick in the shins.

[color=magenta]my parents are always comparing me to two of my mates

its always to do wiv grades id come home wiv an A n dad would be like what did so and so get b4 he praises me, n when i get lower than my m8s like theyre like so so's daughter gets this grade why cant you, i end up saying cuz im ur daughter n dad jus laffs but that doesnt distress me too much because it happens to my friends too, they get compared to me

but when the praises come they come nicely like when i got my GCSE grades dad announced it to all my cousins around th globe and i sat there grinning from ear to ear

but sometimes when i get compared some girls i jus get so offended one time i ws being lazy mum had a rite go at me n she was saying oh dis girl cooks cleans without being asked to wot do u do? but if only my mum knew what these girls were realy like[/color]

[color=magenta]i know what you mean im not saying im the perfect daughter cuz no1s perfect but i could be really messd up bt im not n thats cuz i gt fantastic parents my i guess mum n dad no when to compliment n when not to but i fink my mum was annoyed at me n said it out of anger[/color]

Salam

"Exquisite" wrote:

im not saying im the perfect daughter

Don't be so modest.

You're a perfect flower.

Omrow

"Omrow" wrote:

Salam

"Exquisite" wrote:

im not saying im the perfect daughter

Don't be so modest.

You're a perfect flower.

Omrow

He's right, ur Exquisite.

"there is no difference between one-another except in piety" Is that Quran or Hadith, cant remember.

"razor" wrote:

"there is no difference between one-another except in piety" Is that Quran or Hadith, cant remember.

Its from the Ahadith. Specifically, I believe, it is from The Sermon from 'The Fairwell Pilgrimage'.

"Dawud" wrote:

"razor" wrote:

"there is no difference between one-another except in piety" Is that Quran or Hadith, cant remember.

Its from the Ahadith. Specifically, I believe, it is from The Sermon from 'The Fairwell Pilgrimage'.

yup

Quote:

All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action.

Today in colij, we had our year review thing which was looking at our strengths and weaknesses and how we think we're doing. well the lady that was reviewing me was reli suprised at the way i was rating myself, she turned around and goes that i under-rate myself. Hehe she thot i was mentally ill, i goes na its just that if i put myself down then i does better coz then i work hard in achieving that goal. So personally I think thats how we should work, like find out what we need to improve in and not put ourselves down but just get it in2 our heads that we're shyt at it then we can actually get pleasure out of achieving that. neways just ma view.

"RuBz" wrote:

Today in colij, we had our year review thing which was looking at our strengths and weaknesses and how we think we're doing. well the lady that was reviewing me was reli suprised at the way i was rating myself, she turned around and goes that i under-rate myself. Hehe she thot i was mentally ill, i goes na its just that if i put myself down then i does better coz then i work hard in achieving that goal. So personally I think thats how we should work, like find out what we need to improve in and not put ourselves down but just get it in2 our heads that we're shyt at it then we can actually get pleasure out of achieving that. neways just ma view.

To comment or not to comment... :?

Fair enough thats one view point, and if it works for you and gets results thats good.

I vehemently disagree with it but to quote you, thats just [i]my[/i] view.

I think we shouldn't be negative, but its hard not to when you're down. I know the power of good company to imbue you with confidence and make you realise you can do stuff, you can achieve dreams, you are a special creation of Allah SWT

I think it was Edison who said, "If we did everything we could do, we would literally astound ourselves."

RuBz, if you find feeling you can't do something makes you work hard to get it; then perhaps that just shows your stength of character, that even being negative has a positive effect on you instead a negative one. However I'm all too aware that the flip side (over-cofidance) can lead to messing up badly:

"truestory" wrote:

Physics teacher: If you don't work hard you might not get that A grade you need for uni.

Student: Haha, you know if the teaching job doesn't work out for you, you could always become a comedian.

few months later, on Results day.

Physics teacher: What's the good news?

Student: No comedian art thou.

i.e. arrogance is one step away from regret.

[size=24][b]W[/b][/size] ... WINNER!

"Dawud" wrote:

"RuBz" wrote:

Today in colij, we had our year review thing which was looking at our strengths and weaknesses and how we think we're doing. well the lady that was reviewing me was reli suprised at the way i was rating myself, she turned around and goes that i under-rate myself. Hehe she thot i was mentally ill, i goes na its just that if i put myself down then i does better coz then i work hard in achieving that goal. So personally I think thats how we should work, like find out what we need to improve in and not put ourselves down but just get it in2 our heads that we're shyt at it then we can actually get pleasure out of achieving that. neways just ma view.

To comment or not to comment... :?

Fair enough thats one view point, and if it works for you and gets results thats good.

I vehemently disagree with it but to quote you, thats just [i]my[/i] view.

I think we shouldn't be negative, but its hard not to when you're down. I know the power of good company to imbue you with confidence and make you realise you can do stuff, you can achieve dreams, you are a special creation of Allah SWT

I think it was Edison who said, "If we did everything we could do, we would literally astound ourselves."

RuBz, if you find feeling you can't do something makes you work hard to get it; then perhaps that just shows your stength of character, that even being negative has a positive effect on you instead a negative one. However I'm all too aware that the flip side (over-cofidance) can lead to messing up badly:

"truestory" wrote:

Physics teacher: If you don't work hard you might not get that A grade you need for uni.

Student: Haha, you know if the teaching job doesn't work out for you, you could always become a comedian.

few months later, on Results day.

Physics teacher: What's the good news?

Student: No comedian art thou.

i.e. arrogance is one step away from regret.

[size=24][b]W[/b][/size] ... WINNER!

Erm I aint over confident bout ma self I jus think ov personal things like ma dad and that makes me do well (Sometimes) n the finkin bout ma dad aint in a gud way i just do it cuz i kno dad dnt av faith in me init so that helps me....

Erm I kno u probably think im a nutcase but eveyone has their own special way of doing things and this is ma way i guess.

Neways i get ur point tho...