Salaam
Many people in the Asian Community lead VERY sheltered lives.
My twelve year old neighbour gets spoon fed by his mum every night, whilst he reclines on the pillow watching Telly…in fact even my 30-40year old uncle’s still sometimes get spoon fed by their mum.
What are the implications of babying your grown children?
If anything, don’t people start to take liberties? Who wouldn’t want to be waited on hand and foot?
And doesnt this result in the self-fulfilling prophecy? You know, treat someone like a baby and they'll begin to act like a baby?
Or do mothers actually enjoy chasing their grown kids with milk and fruit?
I was on work experience in some hospital once, and a Pakistani woman who was qualified doctor came in for a job interview with her dad.
It was an interesting interview as the dad would answer the questions for her. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t get the job.
And when, people live such sheltered lives don’t they find it difficult to stand on their own two feet in the real world? I have heard of 30year old men who expect their dad to find them jobs etc because they just don’t know how to go about these things themselves..
Heck, even my dependency on my parents annoys me at times.
I’m at the garage with my car and I don’t know what on Earth the mechanic is talking about, so who do I call? Dad. I’m lost I call dad. I don’t know if I should park somewhere, I call dad. I’m in the bank and the manager is messing me about, I call dad. Today, I wasn’t sure which line rental I should sign up for so I called dad.
When most of our parents came here in the 50’s 60’s they had to build their lives from scratch…they worked so hard and because of them, today we have it so easy….but unfortunately, many of us aren’t as clued up as they were…
You know in the West at the age of 18 a teenager is considered independent….many are expected to pay the rent or contribute to the household expenditure and it’s considered an insult if someone is in their late 20’s early 30’s and still living with their parents…
Should the Asian community take a leaf out of their books?
Share your thoughts…
Wasalaam
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
I thought spoon feeding was for under 3's?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Lol-Come of it Admin, you must have seen/heard of mums who do this?
I was spoon fed until I was at least 8/9 :?
I think they are just lazyness getting someone to feed you when youare perfectly capable feeding yourself!!
I would understand if the person is disabled and can not feed themselfs and someone else has to feed them!
but if someone is perfectly capable and can not be bothered fedding themselfs, I think it is just bone idiol and lazyness!!! :roll:
Who is the cat of the Forum? MEZ!
Your damn right!
[color=indigo]yep seen this too, this cuzin of mine is sooooooooo lazy he'll call his mum from upstairs wiv his mobile ask wots for lunch, gv his order and mother will come running upstairs wiv his dinner, and his mother doesnt complain and the boy is a 24 year old man.[/color]
[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]
interesting topic
i know what u mean. i start wondering about this sometime. i think that they shouldnt be babied
smile and be happy!!!
I have no idea how long. I have either forgotten it, or forced it to that place in my mind where I dare not go...
I have not really come across it happeniong to such an age as you describe.
since about 16/18 I have thought of letting others iron my clothes as taking liberties. (and I have allowed it where possible...)
So I cannot imagine being spoon-fed. Too demeaning if you ask me. For both parties.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
i dont think u understand this concept Mr admin
its not normally consentual
e.g I say I don't want to eat dinner-either my nan will peck my head or try to force food into my mouth
but most asians are big babies :roll:
If someone did that to me, I would not eat even if I WAS hungry.
Its not the type of behaviour I approve of, and the only way to get it into others heads is by a negative reaction.
Being nagged to eat is a diferent thing from someone forcing a spoon down your throat...
WhileI dislike naggging th only way to get rid of it is to either go away, or to listen to the nagging.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
u SERIOULSY havent seen such behviour with grown asian kids? :shock:
or at least OTT babying?
:shock:
thats just spoilt
how dare a grown man boss his mum about :evil:
btw i heard of a 30 year old guy who lived on my road who attached long planks of wood on some broom or sumin so he wouldnt have to get up and change the channel
God knows why he didnt have a remote control :roll:
None that I can recall.
On the other hand I know of people who are looked down upon because their mum's iron their clothes. (well... one person.)
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
on a serious note
with OTT babying people dont know how to survive in the real world
someone i know has been trying to call her hubby over from back home for 3 years now
another has just been divorced and dont know what the hell she should do-and who she should get involved
how the hell can sheltred girls from here know how these things work?
kids shouldnt be babyed so much
Ofcourse half the problem is most parents have this innate urge to protect and shelter their kids from the ills of the world.
But then there are some parents who over do this a little and start sheltering them a little too much to the point where the kids (now all grown up) can barely do anything for themselves as their parents have always done everything for them.
Parents need to wake up and realise that they are only gonna be kids for a short time after which they need to learn to fly the nest and develop a little independance and self reliance.
Back in BLACK
Salam
In Paki families, mothers often show that kind of love for their children.
They do it because it is natural for parents to continue to love their child even after he or she has grown up.
It builds a foundation for a very strong relationship.
It shows the strength of bonding.
And, it maintains that bond throughout life.
You won't find it in other cultures where they dump their mother in old people's homes.
Omrow
lol omg that is just too funny, for real? Thats just over the top.
I don't knw of people who are treated like that... :? Just the usual spoiling of bringing food to the table.
omro does ur mum still feed u?
i think its ridiculous. if parents really love their kids they'd support them and give them skills that'll enable them to stand on their own two feet.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
lol
This guy is such a flag waver.
What a joke nationalists are.
Salam
Such things are often said by those who don't have a nation.
Sad nomads.
Omrow
Salam
She is not going to be a good mother with an attitude like that.
Omrow
C’mon omro, don’t be a dumbo.
Please stop waving around that plagiarised Ottoman flag.
You can’t be a pathetic pakistani patriot (PPP) all your life.
[i]“Nationalism is the last refuge of the pipsqueak”[/i] [b]Z. Osmanovic[/b].
Omrow bro: You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.
Parenting is not really a skill but more of a lifes experience IMO. I'd like to believe that all parents have their childs best interests at heart unfortunately its usually the mother who smothers the child till he/she is too dependant on her... and after which demands the same treatment from his wife... i only have one thing to say to such a man:
Although i agree every man has the right to be loved... he's just abusing that priviledge.
Back in BLACK
why thank you.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
I do not understand Omrow Vs Latifah.
Is it in jest? or is it a serious dislike of each other? (I guess I should pay attention to what happens on the forums I administrate...)
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
i'm guessing its somewhere inbetween. tho latifah has reason to seriously dislike omrow.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
I don't know if this is a maternal thing, but I can't see my generation chasing after their kids and babying them like most parents in our time did...
I've been somewhat babyed by my parents...I can't see myself doing that to my kids.
Its becasue we know how annoying it is.
I bet the next generation (after us) will run around like the last, as they will think 'our parents did not care. I will not make that same mistake!'
swings and roundabouts.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
what does the omro know
just cos he was spoon fed he thinks that every mum in the future shud do the same :roll:
hey ppl im not bein funny but y cant u all jus shut it n stop takin sidez n bein so confrontational man get over it,its a forum 4 petes sake!!
dont mean 2 offend any1
'A book holds a house of gold'
lol if we agreed on everything there wouldnt be anything left to discuss. i wouldn't say we're 'confrontational' - take everything u read with a pinch of salt.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
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