I remember this thread a while ago...
So what do you guys think?
About the idea of marrying a relative?
Do you think it would make it easier if you had known them since you were kids? Or would that make it harder to accept them as your partner?
Strictly speaking in Islam your NOT permitted to marry anyone in the immediate family so we're most likely talking cousins etc.
Share your thoughts
Asalamualaikum wr wb!
Well...i dnt hav any relative brothers in this country, only two n dey r married so if i waz goin 2 get married to a relative id knew straight away dey'll b 4rm pk so...NO WAY!! coz i no very well wat type of pple they r
"Duniya toh badalti rehti hai...Ey mere Quaid tuh kabhi Na badal janaa"
Meaning you've already judged them b4 meeting them ... nice... very nice.
Back in BLACK
yeh i find it funny, you can only say " i knw what type of people the are" if you have met everyone in pak, you get good people there and bad, just like the rest of the world..
In the opinion of this humble member, everyone deserves a chance and we should give them that chance without question.
As angel said: theres good and bad people in this world. You cant just block out a certain group of people bcoz you've had one bad experience or have heard something bad about them coz NOT you could end up placing some decent people into that category even b4 you've met them.
Back in BLACK
yup we shouldnt be stereotyping...
I don't think its always ideal to marry a relative.
"Purity is half of faith.......Prayer is the light...patience is illumination; and the Quran is an argument for or against you. Everyone starts his day and is a vendor of his soul, either freeing it or bringing about its ruin." Muslim
Yep i think ur rite.
Well its true no one should judge anyone before they see them but trust me i have so i know how its like. Im not saying everyone in pk is like that but only the people i really know. Also some of them have a brother/sister that came to the UK couple of years and its just obvious.
Jazak'Allah khair
"Duniya toh badalti rehti hai...Ey mere Quaid tuh kabhi Na badal janaa"
i wouldnt mind marrying a far off relative who i dont know much (if he happens to b a good person ofcourse) but not my close cousins - firstly coz we know eachother too well (i dunno if thats a good thing as u suggested seraph. but we're obviously not as close as we were as kids, so the relationship is no longer that brotherly/sisterly). secondly coz i'd prefer to have a slightly larger gene pool for my kids.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
if I had a decent cousin in my family I wouldnt ever hestitate to marry him
but I come from a small family-with no male cousins anywhere near my age
i have no issue with cousin marraiges
Salam
If someone had two qualities instead of one, then only a fool would reject that person and marry someone who had only one.
And, ofcourse, the more the better.
Omrow
marrying in the family aint a plus or a negtive :roll:
Isn't it?
Try again.
Back in BLACK
if i was doing a pro's list for two guys
whether one was a cousin or not wouldnt work for or against in his favour
Really? Are you sure?
Bcoz im almost certain it would make a difference to your parents.
Think about it.
Back in BLACK
But they're not the ones getting married, so their opinion IMO does not count.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
and thats y the decision of marriage should b left to the couple, and not their parents who think its 'convenient' or anything to that effect.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
I also do not see marrying into the family as a plus or a negative.
Marriage into any family brings two families closer together. A break up can split two families up and the chances of having babies with a handicap exist everywhere, because this is in Gods hands.
I think one of the wives of the Holy Prophet
was related to Him and others were not...
Marriage within the family also results in any property staying within the family rather than given to a stranger.
Back in BLACK
any family a girls gets married into will technically be "strangers" :roll:
If they're from the same family then just how are they "strangers"?
Back in BLACK
for the last couple of weeks my dad has been doing my brothers head in to go Pakistan for the summer
my brother dont want to go unless a family member goes with him...cos he goes "I dont know them-they're strangers"
these are people who come and visit us nearly every year
even my sister goes with my dad almost every year to Pakistan but would never go on her own
if u dont live with someone then however close family they are they will always be "strangers"
OMG, no way!! i really cant agree with that - i dont live with any of my cousins but we couldnt be closer! as kids we visited eachother every other year or so, but as we got older we'd see eachother less often. i'd say the opposite - living apart makes u miss cousins that much more and brings u closer together.
if ur referring to another generation of relatives; i cant call my elders (even if i havent met them often) "strangers", simply because my parents have informed us of the experiences they had with these relatives, so that my siblings and i do not feel detached from them.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
Salam
If one cannot FIND the right sort of person within the family whom they like to marry, then it is reasonable that one seeks outside the family.
However, many do not WANT to find a relative. And moreoever, they seek outsiders with far more diabolical motives.
Let me explain:
It is a fact that in a certain difficult situtation it would be harder to divorce a blood related partner than one who is not.
This means that those who have some sort of FEAR that their marriage might not work, they will look for an EASY exit strategy before choosing a partner.
Bad start.
They have begun on a wrong footing:
FEAR making them reject their own blood. And EASE making them choose an outsider.
They have laid a very weak foundations for love.
Omrow
is that the main reason why people have a fear of marrying in the family?
intresting.
Asalaamu alaikum all
to me whether the guy is related or not doesnt make a difference...as long as the guy is compatible with me in his views/opinons and has a strong Iman then it does not matter
I agree
"Purity is half of faith.......Prayer is the light...patience is illumination; and the Quran is an argument for or against you. Everyone starts his day and is a vendor of his soul, either freeing it or bringing about its ruin." Muslim
hmm, sometimes, even if the guy is compatible (or girl) parents can get in the way :? *sigh*
' Nay, verily! With me is my Lord, He will guide me ' {2662}
Thats where comes the thing bout talkin to your parents and comin to a compromise.
there nothing wrong with marrying cousins if you have a good family relations as it can lead to bringing family closer and high percentage of family marriages lasts.
however from my experience i prefer marrying outside the family as it expands islam you make new family members also less family get invovled therefore more ingredients for a happy succesful marriage also one of the reasons for marriage is to expand islam , family marriages main aim is to keep people within the marriage also i think culture may play a part as in the olden times people had to stay toghether and marry in the family for survival e.g. location, work, so it was best to stick toghether but times have changed. Many pakistanis look down on marriages outside the family
I personally think cousin marriages are best, they keep the family together and increase the happiness in family. But sometimes it happens that no1 in family is ideal or it may be that u just click with some1 who is not a relative.
The importatnt thing is deen, nothing else matters much compared to deen.
But its true, in our MP culture they totally hate an outside bride, (im chattin abt back home), now in uk its more accepted but back home in village, even now my uncles were saying how they want me to marry into the family, ie their daughters. Deen is most important
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
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