I was sent a very funny email which spoke about acceptable displays of effection in public. The whole email basically took it to the extreme by saying that its wrong to even LOOK at your husband/wife in public.
Today we often see asian people with their tongue down each others throats. That is gross. :roll:
What do you think is a acceptable display of effection in public between husband and wife?
It funny looking at the old generation, if a husband and wife are walking side by side it's consider a massive show of emotion, it ain't rare too see a woman walking a couple of paces behind the husband.
Today it different, display of effection in public never seem right IMO, whether it muslims or non muslims i don't like it. Nothing wrong with holding hands, but anything other then that :?
It basically up to the couples i guess, too what they find comfortable. But i would like to see more modesty in this aspect personally.
"A true Muslim is thankful to Allah in prosperity, and resigned to His will in adversity."
[url=http//www.guidancemedia.com/videostream.php?id=Burda.mov]Quran[/url]
lol thats called French Kissing (when tongues are involved) totally gross in public tho... IMO.
Alot of the older generation find it difficult to express affection to their significant other... just not considered propper. Young Couple holding hands and hugs... is about as far as i can take. Anything else should be done in the confines of their own home.
Back in BLACK
Our parents generation made out as if they cant stand one another. Zilch effection. I think that was wrong.
well alot of them hadnt met their partners till the day of their marriage so wat do u expect? That and they are always going on about how life was hard back in the day yada yada yada etc etc... u kids dont appreciate what u got... blah blah blah... had no time for love and peace etc.
well maybe we can do things differently.
Back in BLACK
I dont agree with any public show of affection. Holding hands for no valid reason I am too shy to do it, but if there was a need then I would hold the hand, eg when crossing road or when there is big crowds etc.
Having said that, if someone disrespected my wife in anyway I would be quick to show my affection by sorting that person out, also if I feared my wife would be inconvenienced by people bumping into her or getting crushed in crowds etc THEN most certainly I would be very close to her and make sure she doesnt get bumped around or anything like this.
Speaking about the old generation I heard some funny stories.
Someone once told me that when a couple were newly married then they wouldnt talk to each other infront of other people for months and if they did talk to each other then the other people in the house would consider them shameless or something? Thats weird.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
i personally think showing effection should be done in privacy only, between husband and wife not in public in terms like kissing, hugging,etc...
i dont even think its allowed since things like such are not meant to be exposed...and maintaining privacy has been stressed upon,
about holding hands i dont think i'd do that either it would be rather embarressing since it aint even a common thing..
that reminds me. The other day I saw salafi walking around holding his wifes hand. Looked well funny!!
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
how did you know it was a salafi?
if holding hands was done in our place PPL wouldnt mistake 1 for husband and wife but probably start gossiping that so and so's going out wiv each other..
alot of ppl do have 1 type of soch.
well I knw the geeza was a salafi. He was dressed in sunnah libaas and the woman was covered with just the eyes open.
I'm presuming she was his wife. If he was wearing normal clothes, had no beard, and she wore tight clothes THEN ppl down our end would say aswell but cos she was in burqa and he had shari beard and sunnah libaas no1 was gonna gossip.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
Salam
Why would you want to show off your affection to your girl among other people ?
Is that act for her or is it for them ?
ANd what are you trying to prove?
If she REALLY likes who you are, then you don't need to
do more for her in public. She will not even ask you to hold her hand in public.
A woman needs a man who can fulfill her physical AND emotional desires.
If you can convince her, both in bed and on the sofa, then she would not need
you to do anything on the street. She will happily walk behind you twenty feet.
I don't think that any woman would really require her man to prove his feelings in public.
Omrow
I think its wrong to ignore your wife in public and give her effection in private.
Only someone who is ashamed or embarrassed with his wife would act like that.
that would happen in our area 2 so best not to give ppl reasons 2 gossip
But if they're husband and wife then whats the problem? The fault lies in the dirty minds of some people not the husband and wife who like to hold hands and are not embarrassed to do so.
People should not be so dirty minded.
its not about being dirty minded - ppl are about being judgemental and suspicious and that aint gona change so best not ta become the subject of false talk - easy way jus avoid it u aint gona lose anything
I dont agree. The older generation should change their way of thinking. Why should innocent people who arent even in the wrong change their ways?
older generation aint likely ta change anything bout the way they think...so your stuck with that - 2 bad
in most cases it aint always the older generation making assumptions - the young ppl are jus as bad
as for innocent ppl changing their ways - they dont have 2...all im saying is 2 avoid being the subject of not-so-very-nice talk they know what they can possibly avoid doing
My mrs is gonna have to walk behind me. I aint gonna walk with her next to me unless there is a specific need.
Thats the way I seen it done by the religious people in our locality. I tihnk one of the reasons is that when they meet people that they know in the road then the wife doesnt be standing too close to the strange man.
This way the men can meet each other without causing inconvenience to the family of the other.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
I think the elder generation needs educating. To wrongly assume things when you see two people together and then chat about them is slander.
I've been gossiped about when I've been seen with my cousin, uncles and even just guy mates in public.
Just because some people have dirty minds I'm not going to stop hanging round with my cousins or guy mates.
Is that because you look better from behind?
loooooooooooooooooooooooool
but she might wana walk alongside u
And have you asked a scholar about her walking behind you? or is it a personal view? (I assume the latter...)
I have always seen it side by side.
The first time I heard about walking behind, I thought it was a joke!
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
if your walking around with 'guy mates' then you cant expect ppl not 2 start talking....even when it comes ta cousins jus cuz their your cousins dont make them your mahram so u still aint s'posed ta be walking around with them 4 no reason
so did i :!:
My cousins and uncles always stay in my house. Some give me a life to Uni to town or my friends house sometimes. Obvioulsy I never hang around with them for no reason and I only ever associate with my guy mates for Uni or work purposes.
If Im not doing anything dodgy then even if it "looks bad" in the eyes of dirty minded people then there is nothing I can do about it.
Noone should live their lives thinking how others will think of them.
either something is right, or it is wrong. You will know. However thinking about how other will think will just confuse the issue ,and muddy what is right and what is wrong.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
if theres a valid reason behind it then its all kool no matter what others say
Admin bro thats my person preference.
I think if my mrs wants to walk next to me then I wouldnt tell her no, it aint a must but im just on abt my personal preference, and again I dont want her soo far behind me.
If wifey loves me sooooooo much that she cant stand to walk a few paces behind me then I will take that as a majboori for her, and let her walk next to me!
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
Good. Most women are very insecure, senstitive emotional creatures. I'm sure any womans feelings would be hurt if she was asked to walk ten feet behind.
true - it aint nice at all
my mum walks behind my dad,
i walk behind my dad aswell my elder brother and at times my bro-inlaws,
i would expect to walk behind my husband aswell ...about 3 paces behind
most decent ladys i've seen walk behind their husbands.
You raise an interesting point.
Its not JUST wives who should walk behind their husbands. I dont walk infront of my father, grandfather or uncles. and nor my Teachers either. I wait for them to walk forward and then I walk a lil behind them.
I have to say I dont tend to bother where Im walking with my older brother, maybe I should start but in regards to the elders yeh its like that.
But with my mother and aunties I walk infront, part of the reason is that I find women tend to walk slower, well my aunties and mother etc walk slower.
That reminds me. When I was in pakistan in summer I went out to a lake with some of my relatives, me and my uncle walked ahead, about ten paces behind my two khalas and cousin-sister walked, and the kids were running around here and there. I think its pretty standard for women to walk behind men.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
Pages