"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

"Don Karnage" wrote:

I didn't say [i]dinner[/i] and in fact Starbucks with a book is precisely what I meant.
.

u said LUNCH

does ur starbucks sell lunch?

btw I'd love to have hot chocolate in starbucks one day on my own-never done it though

I know I said lunch!!! you changed it to dinner!

Yes our starbucks sells lunch - sorta, they sell pastries and Cheesecake factory stuff... like cheesecake.

It's right inside B&N

The best thing at starbucks is the frozen chai, mocha latte, or the hot chocolate - frozen chai is my fav.

...you've never ordered anything by yourself at starbucks?!

"Black Prince" wrote:

fine they could hear you............but could they see you? :shock:

I had this stupid stand in front of me but they could see me, I was nervous at 1st cuz we had 3 lectureres marking the presentation but soon as i got into it i forgot they were even there...

Dont get cheeky duhboy

u had to stand on a stand?

oh my....

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

I hate most of her mates-

the rest I'm too shy to speak too-

but making small talk to girls who are strangers-is sumin she's an expert at

80% of the time I'm with her always and I just stand there-and I dont even smile at the right time :oops:

Lol just try smiling the 1st time, usually leaves a good impression, if someone saw me walkin down the street they would think i was the worse person to approach but once sum1 gets talkin to me i am rather friendly :oops:

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

"Angel" wrote:

if someone saw me walkin down the street they would think i was the worse person to approach :

LOL

me too-

anti social, moody, stuck up, major attitude problem is only few of the names that spring to mind when people see me

or so I've been told :roll:

I understand you wore your pin very well at the global unity conference.

Well done.

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

"Angel" wrote:

if someone saw me walkin down the street they would think i was the worse person to approach :

LOL

me too-

anti social, moody, stuck up, major attitude problem is only few of the names that spring to mind when people see me

or so I've been told :roll:

lol moody/stuck-up/major attitude sound very famliar when people who dont knw me refer to me as :oops: there is really nothin one can do, i think its looks silly smiling randomnly down the street. In my last work place i used to be called smiley cuz people knew that i was a friendly person who smiled a lot however strangers dont know that.

Hayder dont be so silly, i didnt have to stand up on somethin, there was a stand in front of me so i could put my papers on :roll:

Hey what is wrong with eating alone?

At work I at times go out of my way to get some time to think.

I can chat to almost anyone. but I prefer staying quiet in the background, just listening.

I may or may not have a confidence issue. The symptom being I can be really quiet. however some days I do not like talking. At all. I have spent eekends with my phone off, avoiding everyone (even family) so that I do not have to talk.

I can do public talking, and one2ones. I hate groups discussions. I always get talked over, even if I have brilliant points. I have found a way around that. I tell my points to one person, and get them to blurt it out. It works.

Overall, I can also seem arrogant, but mostly quiet and uncaring. I do not care about what others think, so i doubt I have any real issue with confidence... and now I am just blabbing on about myself. me me me.

Oh, and looking at siomeones eyes when talking. Do you lot never get bored? I ameasily distracted. i ahve a habit of doing something else (anything) while talking. It does look like I am bored, but that is my style. (some people wait till I look back think I am thinking about something else!)

I find it funny literally lookin into someone's eyes, i just look up here and there but mostly just kinds look in their direction but not into their eyes, just gets uncomfortable!

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

LOL

me too-

anti social, moody, stuck up, major attitude problem is only few of the names that spring to mind when people see me

or so I've been told :roll:

I get told to 'cheer up' and 'stop looking so worried'. :roll:

And people often tell me to 'take care' with a distant far-away look in their eyes. Wierd.

Salam

Confidence is playing tonight. Uncut. Channel 4. 11:00 pm.

Keep an eye on Dustin in this film. He is just too good.

By the way, he has had his cut.

One or two scenes may be unsuitable for those over 50. Aseya.

Omrow

"MuslimSisLilSis" wrote:

"Beast" wrote:

I get told to 'cheer up' and 'stop looking so worried'. :roll:

And people often tell me to 'take care' with a distant far-away look in their eyes. Wierd.

I dont get that "far away look" thing :?:

Neither do I.

It's like they have some premonition...

Salaam

In the pakistani community why is it that if you're a quiet person it's perceived that you're someone who's uncaring (you have no "ehsaas" as they put it). That really annoys me cos i dont talk much, im more of a listener.

I find it a problem to talk to aunties/uncles (those who come on "occasions") in the sense that what do you talk about? most of the time there isnt a common ground. They talk of whats happening back home, the latest on marriages/births/disputes over land :roll: etc

Sometimes distant family friends will come over and i dont know the names of the girls but my sis-in-laws will :oops: (they only came over 2 yrs ago)

Oh and about eye contact in conversations, i used to do that alot when i was at primary school :oops: i thought it was bad manners not to, but i've grown out of it now.

Wasalaam

mm i agree with you. Cousins come over i've never seen them but my mother will say you call her chachi, he's you're chacha, that's you're uncle etc. I'd be like why should i call him uncle is he your real brother? She'd tell me to be an obedient girl and do as i was told of course lol. Then you make salams, and you're expected to make small talk with complete strangers.

I know small talk can be a good way to break the ice, just appear polite even and welcoming but it seems so superficial. I can't do small talk, never have never will. So I may come across as ignorant to my cousins but it doesn't really bother me. I'd usually make salams and leave the room.

Besides why should i sit in a room full of men and women when there's more than enough room in my house to have them sit separate. Trust me my ppl make crude comments, without shame and laugh it off. Well i don't wana be part of their jokes. And if they said anything to me i'd probably embarass them, so my parents always allowed me to take leave.

I'm prob a bit like admin. i confess i've ignored all my calls for the past 2 months. I see the phone flashing but don't pick up. I duno don't feel like chit chatting to anyone sometimes. I like my quiet moments more than hanging out in large groups.

I've had lunch alone at uni many times. I've gone into city centre cafaterias and ate alone, with a book for company. Doesn't bother me in the least. Once you've sat down and made yourself comfy take a good look around lose the paranoia instantly. I've heard dining out alone can do wonders for your confidence. If you can't do it alone then maybe you're not as confident as you think you are? I mean some ppl always need another person to chaperone them, even to the toilet..aherm girls? lol

I can work in groups but i prefer working alone, get things done faster and more efficiently. Anyways working in groups it always feels like some members do more work than others, and others get credit where it's not due.

Never liked presentations always got away with not doing them. Got the same problem as muslim sis i feel sick days before the presentation. At uni most my work was written so wasn't a huge problem for me.

Presentations and speeches seem to be more of an issue for English folks than Americans or Canadians for example. When i was there we had to compare the school systems. To tell the truth what hit me a soon as i got there was how confident the teens were. They wouldn't just put up their hand to answer a question but they'd even offer to demonstrate on the board. How many brit teens would do the same. I think they're encouraged from a young age to do presentations alone, so it prepares them for uni and employment years. Our school systems need to follow them fast!

In brit schools we do too many group presentations, from primary and secondary we should be used to doing presentations alone.

"Fatima" wrote:

In the pakistani community why is it that if you're a quiet person it's perceived that you're someone who's uncaring (you have no "ehsaas" as they put it). That really annoys me cos i dont talk much, im more of a listener.

Yeah, quiet people get called "dum.b" or naive/gullible or not "sharp" enough.

My nan is convinced that people will always take advantage of me only cos I'm not as chatty as the rest of the women in my family.

Btw I love sitting in a coffee shop on my own. That is bliss.

But I don't think I could eat on my own..eating out is a social thing for me.

Salam

She has to have her dinner in a group.

Why can she not eat alone ?

She sometimes forgets where it goes, and so she fears that she might put one in her ear.

Omrow

We all know you did philosophy.

Did you pass?

"Admin" wrote:

We all know you did philosophy.

Did you pass?

hahahahhahahaha

Ohh philosophy, the only major I can think of where you actually get rewarded for contemplating the utility of the major.

Everywhere else you just get stared at or yelled at.

Ten points to lilsis for the title of this thread - i'm LOVIN' it, reminds me of one of those cheesy self help books former used car salesmen are pushing like hot cakes on the proverbial obese losers of late night insomniac inadequecydom.

[size=7]oh God... i'm Dennis Miller[/size]

Philosophy is cool.

It would suit me for a job.

Don't do owt, and get paid!

philosophise on that!

back to the topic...

confidence is all to do with your percieved perception of yourself
if you hold yourself in high regards you will be confident

i think you should accept your physical state e.g. apperance
then be happy with your psychological state e.g. intelligence
confidence is a personal battle, you are the only one who can achieve confidence within yourself

I suggest that people who show confidence in this forums are confident in the mental ability and psychological state but fail to be confidence in their physical state.

As muslims we should be extra confidence, as we know we have the perfect religion, we have god on our side, inshallah we are all destined for heaven, what else do you need to boost your self-confidence.

"RAF786" wrote:

As muslims we should be extra confidence, as we know we have the perfect religion, we have god on our side, inshallah we are all destined for heaven, what else do you need to boost your self-confidence.

sounds like that means bragggin and boasting, as well as bieng proud

me dont agree

humble is the best approach would say

indeed we have the perfect religion, but spend every moment we have trying to perfect ourselves, in order to reach that heaven

and who is destined or not, only Allah SWT knows truly brother

Salaam

I agree with Hayder.

If one is “happy and accepts” their condition and feel very confident about it… be it their physical, intellectual, or spiritual condition.

Then such an individual is stalled…he/she see’s no room for improvement.

As humans we should always strive towards moral and spiritual perfection…this is not possible if we are already content with the way we are.

And yeah, it’s always better to be humble. Being humble and insecure is two completely different things.

When Prophet Isa (as) was born, the first thing he said was “Ana Abdullah” (I am a slave of Allah (swt)...and in the past when people were called “Slaves” they’d say “No, I’m not a slave but I wish I was”…

Nowadays however, humbleness is rare.

Wasalaam