Salaam
It’s been years since I heard my dad say this….but when I was a teenager I used to hear this a lot…
Usually it was when I kept on speaking in English and dad was speaking to me in Urdu…..this used to tick him off but now even he’s given up on trying to teach us Urdu…
Whenever any of us used to go into a strop or acted like a moody, stroppy teenager….we used to hear “That’s it- go upstairs and pack your bags, you’re all going Pakistan”…
Even as a 15year old I never understood this threat…I loved going Pakistan and dad knew this.
Have your parents ever threatened you like this? Or do they use other threats….and have your parents ever actually carried out their threats?
And what exactly is it about Pakistan and discipline? I knew this rebel girl- she was out of control and even used to bring weapons to school…her mum took her to Pakistan and she came back a reformed teenager?!
And another thing, would it be correct to say that the kids back home are a LOT more respectful with their parents then the kids from here are?....I think they are….obviously I cant speak on behalf of every child there however, based on personal experience I’ve been surprised at the high level of blind obedience parents back home receive…why is this?
And what IS the best way to discipline a child? Beating him/her with sticks or giving him/her a light slap now and again only as a last resort?
In my family girls are never physically harmed- regardless of how naughty they are. However, as a last resort dads often may smack their sons….is this fair? (I think it is)
OR are you totally against raising your hands to children? Is shouting at them more then enough? Or do you believe that even shouting is wrong?
What is effective discipline?
Share your thoughts…
Wasalaam
I've been told to be ready for March of next year.
Where would bad kids go in Pakistan?
To their families in Pakistan.
Often bad kids get sent there to get married, as if that'll put'em straight.
wow...
Glad i'm not Pakistani!
i think kids in pakiland are ALOT more respectful to their parents than us over here thats the way i've seen it but i dont know why, they are also more fast and clever than kids from here,
i've alwayz thought i'd send my kids to schools in pakistan for like 2 years then bring em back, that way they'll know their background learn ..become more fluent in their language etc..
i've never really been hit by my parents BUT i know i wont hesitate in raising my hands to my own children when their in the wrong, personally i think shouting isnt as effective.
The parents who do this have the impression that kids go bad here because they have it easy. Everything is available at the push of a button.
The parents themselves grew up in Pakistan so they know what hardship is like. Alot of them had to fetch water from the well, milk the cows, live without electricity etc. That made them disciplined.
They think the same'll happen to their kids if they're put in that environment. But it hardly ever works. In Pakistan almost all fmailies of expat Pakistani's have electricity now, running water, somebody to milk the cows (they can even get milk from the shops).
If all else fails - and it usually does - then there's marriage.
There is a massive cultural diference between the UK and Pakisan.
However alot of parents think the vices are not available there.
I know some their kids to pakistan for a year or so after they realise their son has started to take drugs etc.
However du to the exchange rates etc., they are probably alot cheaper there.
All it takes is to get to know he right people.
The art of haggling is lost on us britons. If a briton goes into a shop etc in pakistan alone, expect them to be taken for a ride.
Some also get married off, but i do not think a family will marry their son/daughter off to a doped up individual...
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
My parents (when the actually wanted to talk to me) used to tell me that there were starving kids in other countries who would feel privileged to have "my lifestyle"
One day I asked mom to name a country with starving children.
She said Australia.
lol now i'm sure things are tough for the aboriginees, but I am equally sure mom has no idea who they are.
hahah it would be hilarious to ship a kid off to a developing nation though
in a sadistic sort of way
Aboriginees are rather hard done by in ozzieland.
everyone uses a similar argument.
'don't like the food? think of the starving in africa'
'can I airmail the food?'
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
lol... wish I woulda thought of that one
I am not too spontaneous, so I try to have prepared answers at my fingertips...
Have I been threatened as such?
Unfortunately, I am a goody-two-shoes.
I have not been the situation. Good thing really, as I do not take kindly to threats.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
...huh?
you said you wish you would have thought of that...
...I said I put a lot of thought before i came up with it.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Oh right - sorry - doing crunches, lol not thinking clearly
mum and dad never threaten to take me bk to pak
im the one who has convinced mum that we have to go in jan- she was lukewarm about it.
i want to learn more about the culture and language, think thats the best way to do it.
wish they wd threaten to take me bk
gud thinking naj.
Personally i know some people who were sent back home to get themselves sorted out. It depends how they are kept in pak, cos if you send em pak and give em even a little british currency they can get up to LOADS worse than here.
But if you keep em on a tight leash you can make a true gem. One geeza I know used to get up to EVERYTHING in uk, he was really a big problem to everyone and had completely lost his way. Eventually his father decided to send him back home to stay with his oldest uncle. The oldest uncle agreed to take his nephew but laid the condition that no money whatsoever was to be sent to the son, and the father agreed.
The geeza came back 2 and half years later and he was a completely changed person. He was telling us that he had to go and look after the goats from morning til night, they gave him the same small amount of food they ate, he hadnt had any luxury item until it was eid. I swear the life he led was soo amazing and simple, he literally spent all his daytime being a goatherd and then when they had to do seasonal stuff like replastering the roof, or helping the wedding houses he was told to be there and help them in anything they asked.
I think it can work, he spent 2yrs plus in a simple village, and now he has a top bloke. And if you asked me or any1 else BEFORE he went to pak if you ever thought that geeza would change, everyone would have said no way, he has gone too far. But he has changed and big respect to him.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
So basically bad parents send their kids to better parents?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
lol no. There is no right answer or a rong answer to this.
Sometimes it maybe tha parents are fantastic but the child isnt, and he turns out bent. Sometimes its the other way around.
Plus environment has a role to play aswell. The uncle was strict, perhaps his behaviour would have got him banged him for a few yrs in uk, but in pakistan he did what had to be done and his end product, viz a polite, well mannered, religious, married, hard working nephew is ample proof.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
So its parents.
I know a scholar, who told me a story.
He said that once he went to someones house. He saw their kid riding hs bike outside. he was just wearing socks.
He told he parents to get to wear shoes.
They said... in Pakistan we were poor. here we are not... there si no harm in what he is doing.
A few years later they came to him and said 'Our son has gone astray... please help us'.
When he had offered advice, they rejected it.
everything has a symptom. it is the parents job to guide the children ,and find the symptms befre they lead to the disease.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
brother I understand that point but its not always the parents fault.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
I disagree.
bad parenting leads to bad kids.
Sometimes bad parenting leads to good kids because they are smart.
But good parenting will 99% of the times lead to good kids.
There are exceptions.
But not as many as shown in our societ where i would warrant to say over 50% have tried drugs... and that IMO is an understatement.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
methinks 'I disagree' was unneeded Admin
...wait a sec did I just moderate the moderater? Weird power dynamics..
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
Ok. It is not always the parents fault.
But it mostly is.
people are good at making excuses.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
k.
One thing I will agree that most of the times the kids are messed up because they havent been brought up with islam. Hence people in cultural way may have good kids but in islam they have a horde of insolent, arrogant, rebellious, transgressors and its all cos the kids were deprived of islam.
The way I see things going is that either bring your kids up with deen or be prepared for them to leave islam in all but name. People can be wellmannered, polite, ready to help, friendly, good education, good job etc. But they have no salah, no beard, engage in sinful activities like cinema, snooker places etc. In a cultural way they have been brought up as good pakistano kids, but in religion they are rebels who must be brought to account.
So yeh, most people, including myself are messed up lil individuals.
Ya ALLAH Madad.
Haq Chaar Yaar
whenever I've been Pakiland I've only picked up bad habits
pakiland for me isnt a scary place-its a cool place for shopping
women and shopping
what can i say?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Nothing. Just carry the bags.
Pakiland is THE place for Asian shoppin
it beats green street any day
but back to the topic
them parents who dump their kids in pakiland have failed as parents
u cant dump ur responsibilty on others
lol why do you guys call it Pakiland?
-stan = land in farsi?
Because it more closely resembles Eng-land.
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