I know there have been previous topics about this already, like the one I read http://www.therevival.co.uk/forum/general/1312?page=3 BUT it still doesn't answer the question.
1. WHY is it unlawful?
2. What if you shake hands with the right intention without fear of 'temptation'?
3. If you do it cause you have 'no choice', is it still a sin? I don't mean the other person taking offence, but for the sake of remaining professional and having manners.
I come across http://www.suhaibwebb.com/islam-studies/faqs-and-fatwas/shaking-hands-wi... and read what it says but it still doesn't clarify anything for sure. I've come across situations like this so many times, and whenever I see people who make a big deal out of such stuff, it makes me think twice about whether its right or not.. so I thought there should be a strong hadith somewhere claiming its disliked? But what if its just a spur of the moment thing and you don't think about the 'effect' of the handshake? And then I read somewhere else that if you're put in a situation where someone stretches out their hand you're allowed? Its just something people do out of formality and respect, otherwise that would mean you can't shake hands with your colleagues, boss or even teachers? If its islamically wrong, that would make it haraam which means its a sin all this time? Argh!
Making this topic was a last resort, so once I have my answer it can be deleted straight away, since there already is one about the same thing. I honestly don't get it and rather find out than to feel bad later on. So please someone (kindly) put me out my misery.
IS IT ALLOWED OR NOT?!??!!!
((Thankyou))
YOUUUUUUUUU'REBAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK why didnt you TEXT?!
dont you feel your hand is personal to you? i dont want any old body to grab my hand. even if its for some formal thingymajig. why does society have to make me feel awkward for nt wanting a random somebody to touch my hand?!
when yu feel strongly about not shaking hands, then i think one is able to calmly refuse and explain why she wont shake hands. jerks might find you rude/extremists. but most people will respect you more i believe. sticking to your values and beliefs is a rare quality that seems to be appreciated nowadays.
that was probably a rubbish response. but thats all i can type rightnow... under pressure lol.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Okay, i'll try to make sure i'm as precise as possible. - I think almost every single Muslim will tell you that shaking hands with the opposite sex is unlawful even if it's in formal settings. However the Hanafi Madhab say that it's permissable for a male to shake the hand of an elderly woman so long as there isn't any desire. They allow this because she's old and not sexually attractive so there wouldn't be any sort of lust that could possibly be created through hand-shaking. I hope that's made things clearer for you.
As for your individual questions. 1) It's unlawful because they are not your mahram's and a desire could be ignited. 2) YOUR intention could be perfectly clean and without temptation but you most definitely don't know what's going through the mind of the person you're shaking your hand with. 3) Have no choice? - There is no such thing. You are entitled to do as you wish and people should accept that.
There's this Biology teacher I know, but she hadn't taught me and before parents evening she spoke to all her students and kindly told them to tell their brothers and fathers to not shake her hand before and after the meetings. This is one way that she prevented herself from getting into that situation. I feel like i've mentioned this on The Revival before, but it was worth mentioning again. On my own parents evenings, i used to let my dad do the handshaking with my teachers. I didnt have to, i suppose.
I remember watching the graduation ceremony of a local university a few months back and there were so many Muslim girls in Hijaab who went on the stage and ONLY shaked the hands of the women and not the males who were congratulating them on receiving their degree and having reached the end of University life. This was an extremely professional setting, yet the mayor or dean or whoever he was didn't give them a wierd look or put his hand right infront of them either.
I think that was a very good decision from these Muslim sisters - they aren't compromising with religion even when they know that all the university lecturers are present along with students they've never met, friends, parents and family members and even people at home who are watching the ceremony too. All eyes are on them yet they stick to what they believe in. I think it's something that's becoming more accepted.
Liiiillllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy <3- A text wouldn't have made a difference
Its not about feeling awkward if you don't shake hands, but some people don't see the big deal when you do. Its just a quick handshake and then its all forgotten about. Especially if its not like you'll see the person again in your entire life. I find it funny that a desire could be ignited through a 2 second handshake. That is just laughable. I'm pretty sure no-one remembers the lovely hand they once shook, nor spent their days thinking about it. As for men, they can shake the hands of an ugly lady. Ok but what if the unattractive woman finds the man she's shaking hands with sexually attractive? You don't know what's goes on in the minds of old ladies either.
This is not to say I'm entirely against the 'its wrong to shake hands with a male' concept. Its normal and appreciated in interviews. But yeah, If its just out of self-respect and modesty and the whole idea of a 'womans hand is precious', then I understand.
_Me_ Why haven't we got you a proper nick name yet?
Look, sometimes you have to just accept things as they are, even if you don't understand them. Try not to over think it and try not to want to understand so hard that it stops you from actually understanding. It's a bit like when you're trying to find something that's right under your nose or when you forget something and it randomly comes to you later. I dunno if those were good examples or not lol but what you will understand at some point, inshaAllah, right now you just need to submit your will to Allah and just believe it is what it is because the answers have been given, they are right in front of you, even the more lenient one from Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradhawi.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi