Men are hopeless at depression, but they are terribly good at suicide. That is what the sad statistics tell us. One in every 100 deaths is the result of what Hamlet called self-slaughter, and the vast majority who die that way are male. Women attempt suicide more often than men, but tend to choose methods that leave room for second thoughts or rescue. For a man hellbent on leaving this life, there is often no turning back.
Hanging is not a cry for help. It’s the opposite. Decisive, quick, resolutely masculine. An exit that brooks no argument, no pleas to think again. Small wonder Speed’s death has caused such widespread bewilderment and anguish. A distraught Alan Shearer asked, “Why, Speedo? Why didn’t you give me or one of your other close mates a ring if you were feeling so bad?” Colleagues queued up to testify to the 42-year-old’s upbeat character. Presenter Dan Walker said Speed had been in a “bubbly” mood on BBC1’s Football Focus hours before he killed himself. Commentators pointed out that, blessed with matinee-idol looks, a beautiful wife and two sporty kids, in addition to growing professional success, Speed had everything to live for. His agent, Hayden Evans, went so far as to assert: “Gary did not suffer from depression and he was happily married.”
Read full story here
I still find Gary Speed's death very sad and I didn't really know him (I mean in terms of a football 'fan'...yes I'm not that big of a fan really! :shock: ). He just seems great and looked happy/normal too in his appearance on football focus, just a day before he took his own life.
But the point of this topic is the stigma attached to men being emotional.
"Men don't cry!"
"wuss'"
"they need to 'man up'"
"attention seekers!"
Just some of the kind of comments, I'm sure we've all heard.
I will admit, that I find it weird seeing guys share their emotions, sometimes. And it's quite shocking seeing grown men cry but these things don't make guys any less of a man. (generally, depending on context 
) It's horrible that guys feel so pressured into being these macho men, that it can cost them their lives 
These views need to change and men feeling depressed etc shouldn't be stigmatised. It shouldn't be a taboo for them to share such feelings! :/
All I'm saying is that I hate it when guys hide their feelings or say only girls show their emotions ect, truth is:
REAL MEN CRY...
...They show their emotions and what they're feeling but if they just build a brick wall around themselves then they push people away from their lives, it's not cool...and by doing that you're not hard either.
Just saying.
Agreeeee with the above.
Agreed
Taking the example of the Prophet
when he first saw Angel Jibra'il, he was so shook up but the first thing he did was go home and tell Khadija (ra) what had happened and why he was so scared/worried. And she was able to calm him down, Alhamdulillah.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
im sure the companions use to cry all the time. maybe guys dont cry coz of pride right? so a muslim guy (who should no have any kind of THAT pride) will cry. and Allah is the softner of hearts.
when my dad's bro died. i got really scared that my dad would cry. and i have to admit it was those situatio of stare at his face to see if he cries BUT inside im like "dont cry dont cry dont cry".
guys are expected to do so much and be anchors and strong and blah blah blah that i think its hard for them to cry. coz of the effect it'd have on the people around them. but i guess that'd go if if wasnt seen as such a unmanly thing to do.
on the other hand. GIRLS NEED TO MAN UP! so calling them WUSS IS GOOD (Which i do on aregular basis, and jerk, jerk is good, you should see their faces...)manlyfied loool
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Mash'Allah, that's such a beautiful example for everyone to relate to
In society, we always have the streotype that men don't cry, and I suppose when some1 does it seems really really weird like: "What'cha crying for?? Your a man for goodness sake! Man Up and embrace your machoness!"
In actual fact, it's okay to cry < In Islam, everyone is encouraged to cry during du'aa because it is makes you humble and allows you to ask forgiveness sincerely... Sometimes on Tv (I personally don't agree with this), some channels show men crying during du'a and they literally have tears rolling off their faces-they aren't afraid to cry....
Brothers... it's okay to cry
Death is the end of time. Not the end of Life.
Smile
On the other hand it's not always good to show your emotions in public all the time. I'm not saying to bottle it up but there's no point crying in front of everybody, especially for men. IMO it doesn't have a good effect on the people around you and i don't think we should cry in public anyway.
It's not that men don't cry, we just don't display it for everyone to see. I think everyone cries once in a while atleast but you'll just rarely see it in men, we like to show a brave face for others and we don't want people to sympathasize for us. Then again sometimes we do but it'll be kept to a 'need to know' basis. We're complicated creatures ok.
Anyway my point is it's best to keep certain emotions between you and Allah anyway. Even when making dua we should not cry if we are in public unless it's uncontrollable.
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
You're emphasising 'public' when it doesn't need to be.
You don't need to show your emotions to everyone and cry in the middle of a public place wih dozens of people around you.
) and you don't need to tell the whole world but just even one person that you're close to. You don't need to cry either! Just share your worries and thoughts to stop yourself from going crazy.
The point is that it's ok to not be brave at times. Sometimes admitting you are weak and need help IS showing strength as it's not something easy for people to do. (swallowin your pride ain't easy
Yes, only Allah swt can help a person and only He should be asked for help, but people can be a vehicle towards help - give you advice, listen to you etc. Even when doing istikhara, it's still recommended to ask for people's advice isn't it? And for some things you're not going to get a *direct* answer from the Qur'an and Hadith so you do what the Qur'an tells you to do - to ask people who know and will be able to help.
IMO it doesn't have to always be shaykhs etc, but people who are familiar with the situation and will be able to help get you through it.
(The title of this topic is from a line in the article - which is a good read IMO)
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Noted
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
i was thinking that thsi topic wasnt reallyasking guys to cry in public *imagines a guy breaking down in the middle of a bus/park* i would run amile if i saw this. even though i gave a tissue to a crying lady on the bus i still felt like running a mile. and what the HECK ARE YOU SUPPOSE TO DO WHEN SHE SATS OPPSOITE YOU CRYINNNNNNNNG?
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Yeah, I hear that. Men rarely show their emotions in public.
To a certain extent I'm quite guilty of this as well, I always appear quite cheerful and optimistic but inside I could be dying behind the mask. If the right person, at the right time says the right things then they might be lucky/unlucky enough to see me a little more vulnerable.
If I saw a guy cry I would probably take him to the side (assuming I actually know him!) but if he was on his own I would leave him be and offer an ear later, mainly because it's a pride thing.
To a certain extent some men (me included) feel as if we have to be strong for others, maybe that's why we don't cry openly, or only cry when we're alone.
“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”
Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi
Yep, that's how most people think, I think. You just expect men to be all strong, be able to handle everything, be there to support their family and friends so if they're breaking down where will everyone else turn too?
I guess it's these pressures that can also lead men into crime, because they can be so desperate to make 'something of themselves' or just to be able to get what they want/need. (turning to gangs/drugs)
Hmm, well we gotta remember you're no supermen (however much you'd love to be!
)You're only human. 
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
REALLLLL MEN DONT CRY!!!
Boys it's a different story...
">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtJhjAVWGpA&feature=em-subs_digest]
http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/gender-relations/the-female-companions-and-the-prophet-%EF%B7%BA/
You may think these are a bit irrelevant. Let me explain my thought process.
The 'real man' according to society's norms and values seems to be very different to what the Prophet (saw). Especially some groups of people I know, who think showing any kind of emotion makes a guy camp. I find it really shocking the way some people look down at men for saying something...well just nice and thoughful :S
And then there are guys that think they should be in control and women can't do anything and don't bother talking to women with respect etc.
I think our society is making us turn away from what we should really be like, and letting us believe certain good traits are actually bad and vice versa. None of us can be as amazing as the prophet
or even the male/female companions (ra), however they are our role models, they are the ones we need to look up to, to know what it means to be a 'real man/woman'!
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi