FORGIVENESS. Yes, it's a big topic. There's some of us who don't take things personally, we make nothing of what others say to us and we simply laugh it off. We shrug it off our shoulders because they're our friends and they didn't mean it in a bad way, right? Other times, we'll be the ones making the comments and not realizing if we've hurt a persons feelings, because its all a joke, right? It's not like they're taking it seriously? Well how do you know whats going in their mind? They could just be covering all that with one big fat fake smile?
There's times when someone does something so so bad to you, that you begin hating on them, you curse them, and you don't associate yourself with them at all. Thats when your the victim. What are you supposed to do in such a situation? Are you the one with the guts to lecture them all day long for the wrong they've done to you and try drilling something into their head, even when they don't want to listen? But would that really be worth all that time? No, i doubt it. Wouldn't it be so much better if we were patient, if we controlled our anger, and if we talked about the situation in an appropriate manner? Yeah, that seems like something better to do. I guess its really important that we forgive that person for doing such a thing to us and avoid holding such a big grudge against them.
But what happens if we're the one in the wrong, and it took a while for us to actually realise? Just remember it's not too late to ultimately ask Allah for forgiveness and from the person who we've done bad to. Lets have the guts to say sorry, and actually mean it when we say it. Im very sure we wouldn't want a burden upon our shoulders on the day of reckoning, which could have easily not been there, had we asked for forgiveness and been forgiven by that person. In the same way that we'd like others to forgive us, and Allah to forgive us, should we not forgive those who wrong us too?
This brings to mind a certain hadeeth: The Messenger of Allah (S) said: 'The best deed before Allah is to pardon a person who has wronged you, to show affection for relatives who have broken ties with you, and to act generously towards a person who has deprived you'. Thereafter he recited the following verse from the Quran: 'Turn to forgiveness and enjoin good and turn away from the ignorant' (7:199).
We sin so much and we want Allah to forgive us yet why are we not ready to forgive others? So before we go to bed each night, lets reflect on how our day went, lets seek forgiveness for our sins, lets forgive all those who have wronged us and seek forgiveness from all those we have wronged, whether they are our parents, our brothers, our sisters, our friends, our neighbours, our relatives, our enemies, and even those we don't really know. The way we forgive others will be how Allah will forgive us, right?
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Comments
I believe in forgiveness too. BUT - I think you can forgive someone who done something to you. You CAN'T forgive someone who IS DOING something to you.
Once it's all over it's all history. While it's happening, what do you do?
I may just be getting too technical here - but the hadeeth is in the past tense - so in line with what I was saying about you CAN forgice those who DONE something but not those who ARE DOING something?
You can't be too technical though, since it's a traslation anyway. We can get the overall message from the hadith, but trying to look at it deeply requires more understanding and best not to be done ourselves.
Also you won't be sinful for not being forgiving - you can leave Allah to do justice.
But revenge is not allowed.
And hating/not forgiving takes too much effort and just makes life miserable
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Again - only if the misery someone caused you has stopped. If it's still going on it's quite likely that it's causing you more misery than the 'not forgiving' will.
For example - the Jewish people can now forgive Hitler because he's not causing them pain anymore, but the guys in Syria and Burma, on the other hand.......
(see what I'm getting at?)
why forgive if its still going on? forgiveness is something FOR the past tense.
if someone if harmING you then another feeling is needed; not forgiveness.
and revenge is allowed. an eye for an eye is a law of the Quran. but forgiveness is better. and revenge needs to be exact which is pretty much impossible...
if someone is hurting you, you need to sort it out. and have patience. patience is the feeling you have while its going on. forgiveness is when its done.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
That is not revenge that is justice
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Forgiveness is usually associated with the past. Its about whats happened. I think the only way you can actually move on in life, is by forgiving.
But like Lilly said, for the moment in time, you may need another quality, and this is where patience and perserverance comes into all of it. I think you need both of these, to help you get on with the rest of your day.
Yet, i still think that even if you're going through a certain situation, and if you're really really strong, you can forgive them whilst its still happening, for perhaps, not understanding you, or for taking things in the wrong way.
What if someones admitted to you (not in these words, but in words to this effect) that "I know I can do whatever I want to any Muslim especially a relative because when all's said and done they DO forgive."
And then a number of years later you become their latest victim?
I think in this situation it's morally wrong to forgive and forget because that'll further strengthen their position that all relative muslims forgive and the said person WILL go on finding more victims and causing more trouble. BUT if I don't forgive and let them "sweat it" there may come a time (inshallah) when they start feeling like they have lost their ability to "screw people over only to get forgiven" and then become a normal functioning human...
Old habits die hard?
Allah will give you the reward for forgiving and will deal with the other person accordingly.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
"Forgiveness is for your sake, not theirs"
in the case of when something is happening to you and you have the ability to do/say something against it for the sake of Allah then i believe you should do it. You cannot let someone do evil(in the eyes of Allah) and not do or say something against it. Hating it in your heart is least you should do but even then if you really hated it you'd want to stop it.
In the case where you do not have the ability i believe you should exercise patience.
"evil prevails when good men do nothing"
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
I'll read it a couple of time through now. And then re visit it in a couple of weeks and then again in a month or so. I usually don't get stuff straight away, but I think this lot should be helpful once I've read a few time.
Thanks guys.
muslims forgive shlnt equal muslim xan be screwed over. theres a problem if these two are equated. we need to sort out that perception. getting angry for the sake of Allah shld help do tha. also. advicing etc... forgiveness isnt passivr acceptance. and frm all the debate on here..we forgave each other but there was no messibg abt
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
justice. one of the fondamental theme of Quran.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
And justice for all not just justice for us, otherwise we're just self-centred and like any other lobby group concerned about themselves.
When Yasser and his family (ra) were tortured, the Prophet
said to them have patience, your reward lies with Allah.
But when a mushrik came to the prophet
complaining of Abu Jahl taking his money, the prophet 
went to Abu Jahl asking about the money and fought for the mushrik's rights.
(some stuff NAK said in one of his talks)
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi