Rape 'impossible' in marriage, says Muslim cleric
By Mark Hughes and Jerome Taylor
Thursday, 14 October 2010
A senior Muslim cleric who runs the country's largest network of sharia courts has sparked controversy by claiming that there is no such thing as rape within marriage.
Sheikh Maulana Abu Sayeed, president of the Islamic Sharia Council in Britain, said that men who rape their wives should not be prosecuted because "sex is part of marriage". And he claimed that many married women who alleged rape were lying.
Related articles* More UK News
* Search the news archive for more storiesHis comments have angered senior police officers, who say that such statements undermine the work they do to encourage women to report rape, a notoriously under-reported crime.
Sheikh Sayeed made the comments in an interview with the blog The Samosa, before reiterating them later when contacted by The Independent.
He told the website: "Clearly there cannot be any rape within the marriage. Maybe aggression, maybe indecent activity... Because when they got married, the understanding was that sexual intercourse was part of the marriage, so there cannot be anything against sex in marriage. Of course, if it happened without her desire, that is no good, that is not desirable."
Later he told this newspaper: "In Islamic sharia, rape is adultery by force. So long as the woman is his wife, it cannot be termed as rape. It is reprehensible, but we do not call it rape."
British law was changed in 1991, making rape within marriage illegal.
Dave Whatton, Chief Constable of Cheshire and spokesman on rape for the Association of Chief Police Officers, said: "We know that the majority of rapes do not take place through strangers attacking women late at night but between acquaintances and within marriages and partnerships.
"It is a fundamental principle that sharia law should not replace the laws of the UK. Putting out views that rape can be dealt with in another way fundamentally undermines everything we are trying to do."
The cleric's comments come just days after Germaine Greer suggested that rape victims should name and shame their attackers online instead of reporting it to the police.
Mr Whatton added: "The comments of Sheikh Sayeed and Germaine Greer suggest there are other ways of dealing with rape. If that happens, victims of rape do not get the medical and counselling support they need to overcome this traumatic experience – and we are not in a position to effectively prosecute offenders."
In the interview on the website, Sheikh Sayeed suggests that women who claim to have been raped by their husbands should not immediately go to the police, saying: "Not in the beginning, unless we establish that it really happened. Because in most of the cases, wives... have been advised by their solicitors that one of the four reasons for which a wife can get a divorce is rape, so they are encouraged to say things like this."
Sheikh Sayeed said the Islamic Sharia Council had only dealt with two or three cases of rape since the arbitration tribunal was founded in 1982. Asked about how men who are found to have forced themselves upon their wives were punished, he explained: "He may be disciplined, and he may be made to ask forgiveness. That should be enough."
Inayat Bunglawala, chairman of Muslims4UK, said: "Sheikh Sayeed's comments are woefully misguided and entirely inappropriate. Rape – whether within marriage or outside it – is an abominable act and is clearly against the law."
Rape 'impossible' in marriage, says Muslim cleric
Published by Bijou on 14 October, 2010 - 12:43
Comments
Q. What are the rights of woman after marriage? If the husband calls the wife to bed, can she say no? Does the husband need the wife's consent to have Intercourse?
If there is no consent, and the wife doesn't want to, and he forces himself over her, isn't that rape?
A. In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: "When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him, thus he spends the night in anger, the angels curse her until morning." (Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim, See: Riyad al-Salihin, no. 281)
Sayyiduna Talq ibn Ali (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: "When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy, she should come, even if she is (busy) in the cooking area." (Sunan al-Tirmidhi & Sunan al-Nasa'i)
Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: "By the one in whose hands is my life, there is not a man who calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him except that Allah becomes angry with her until her husband is pleased with her." (Sahih Muslim, No. 1436)
The above and other narrations of the beloved of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) clearly signify the importance of the wife obeying her husband in his request for sexual intimacy. It will be a grave sin (in normal circumstances) for the wife to refuse her husband, and even more, if this leads the husband into the unlawful.
Imam al-Nawawi (Allah have mercy on him) states in his commentary on the Hadith of Abu Huraira stated above:
"This Hadith indicates that it is unlawful (haram) for the wife to refuse her husband for sexual intimacy without a valid reason. Menstruation will not be considered a valid reason, for the husband has a right to enjoy her from above the garment (on top of cloths)." (Sharh Sahih Muslim, P. 1084)
However, the above does not in any way mean that the husband may force himself over her for sexual gratification. The Hadith mentions "the husband spends the night in anger or being displeased" which clearly shows that he must restrain himself from forcing himself over her. Had this not been the case, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would have advised the husband to gain his right in a forceful manner.
Similarly, it should be remembered here that, the wife must obey her husband in his request for sexual intimacy unless she has a valid reason. She must obey his as long as she does not have to forego her own rights. As such, if the wife is ill, fears physical harm or she is emotionally drained, etc; she will not be obliged to comply with her husband's request for sexual intimacy. Rather, the husband would be required to show her consideration.
Allah Most High says:
"On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear." (Surah al-Baqarah, 286)
Many times it is observed that the husband demands from his wife to fulfil his sexual needs no matter what state she is in, and uses the above quoted Hadiths to impose himself over her. If the wife is not in a state to engage in sexual activities and has a genuine and valid reason, and the husband forces her, then he will be sinful. Muslim husbands should realize that their wives are also humans and not some type of machines that can be switched on whenever they desire!
Finally, these matters should be resolved with mutual understanding, regard for one another, love, gentleness and putting one's spouse before one's self. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) has reported to have said: "None of you can be a true believer until he loves for his brother/sister what he loves for himself." The importance of this is even greater in a marital relationship.
And Allah Knows Best
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari
Ah Brilliant response...lets tell that to that stupid man!
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
You know how women are supposed to obey and do as they are asked, does it work the other way round too? Would the husband have to listen to his wife if she asks? :S
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Lol good point! Erm, I personally don't know the answer to that in religious terms, but aren't men always up for it anyway... :!:
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
If a man does not sleep with his wife for a period of 4 months, a judge can sentence him to prison (or disolve the marriage).
AFAIK during the time of hadhrat Umar (ra), rotation in the army was started for this very purpose - to not keep spouses separated for this time period.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I read only a bit of that.
And I understand that I am probably reading it the wrong way.
But....the wife saying no to sex may lead to the husband to be unlawful? So it's the wife's fault? What if she doesn't have a valid reason and just doesn't want to?
It can be - intimacy can be used as a tool of blackmail - "don't give me X and you wont get Y" and such a thing is clearly wrong as in Islam marriage is the root to making such intimacy halaal.
PS the guy mentioned in the original article does NOT state that the man has the right to force himself on her - he just states that that would be covered under a different crime than rape in his opinion.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Marriage is the way to make intimacy halal. I know that.
But I find the part about it being the wife's fault if her husband is unlawful just because she refused sex without a valid reason a bit....blargh.
What is wrong with saying no to sex, without a valid reason?
Does that mean if they don't in 4 months then they're marriage is dissolved even if they can't or more specifically if they just don't "want to".
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Because that is voiding what some would consider to be the primary purpose of marriage?
The spouse saying no (without reason and not unocasionally) is IMO ground for divorce. Better to get out of there and find someone else than to stick with it and potentially satisfy your needs through haraam means.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
If the husband is deliberately avoiding the intimacy. If not, it can just lead to divorce if the needs of the woman are not met (and she has made the complaint to the judge).
There are probably many technicalities to "Ila" - I just mentioned the broadstrokes.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Sex is the primary purpose of marriage?
Really?
And what about for those who don't see it like that?
They dont have to get married. Or get married to someone who is likeminded. But even then if one of thier two minds change, it will probably lead to disaster.
I have read articles that one major precursor to marriage and relationship breakups in the "liberated west" is one of both of the people are often too busy for intimacy and that side takes a knock, eventually leading onto other things and eventually they are at each others throats. All because not that one refused, but because they overlooked it.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
How do people go about finding out whether their potential future spouse is like minded or not?
Cringe.
Errr I would disagree with that! In some cases it might be, but in a lot its defo NOT. You dont get married just for sex. Marriage is a life long commitment to a person, not something you do just for sex. You are not committing yourself for life for sex, you are doing it to be with someone, for comfort, for creating a family, for following the Sunnah, for love...for many reasons..not solely for sex and I disagree that sex is the main reason. A person might be ready to get married and spend the rest of their lives with a particular person, but naturally not ready for sex. Yes, get married early as the Prophet
said if you cannot control yourself when it comes to sex, but that does not mean get married FOR sex. He 
also mentioned to keep roza if you can...remember...
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
Roza/fast if you cannot get married...
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
By talking about things?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Like as if that wasn't obvious.
Are people really this hormonal that they cant control themselves :/
Yeh,it seems so. They're animals. :/
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Its not a matter of controlling youyrself - even the imam in the original article says that it is a crime to force - but he does not think it can be classed as rape, but another crime.
The followup issue is if you are in a marriage that is often of such a type, is it better to stay in or out? I would say get out, but it seems everyone else disagrees with me on this.
(Sometimes I get the impression that especially Muslim girls tend to portay guys as evil and devils, so I am just pushing the other way a bit to prpvide some balance too as such an approach is unhealthy.)
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Watever ill be at Moes
Back in BLACK
Last time I checked
Rape is defined as forcing someone to have sex AGAINST THEIR WILL
so if a woman is sayin no and does NOT WANT to
then
it
is
RAPE
I understand that as humans we have needs
but we're not animals
we're not on this earth solely to have ALL of our wants and needs met
This is basically just about the dominance of men and how we as women should bow down and fulfill all their needs and desires
What aout if a man says no to sex with his wife
is he "cursed" by the angels?
No
I doubt it
if you read above, you will notice that I answered the precise question you are posting. I mentioned how the husband cna be punished through dissolution of marriage or even a term in prison.
If a wife does not want to satisfy her husbands legitimate needs in legitimate ways on occasions that are more than a one off, she should reconsider her marriage to him, or ask him to take a second wife.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I dont see why, if a wife denies her husband ONCE or twice, that he needs to go n find it somewhere else
im sure he's not going to be THAT desperate
I know what men are like at times but surely he could control himself?!
And anyway
no wife's gonna deny her husband continuously
if she does then obviously something is wrong with the marriage
they say that how u behave in the bedroom is a reflection of what's happening outside it