Faith can be such a fragile thing. A belief system that not only influences our daily lives but provides a sense of place among things. So when it comes under attack, we can become shaken to the core.
Such events can be anything from a bereavement or illness which can have two reactions. Either a chances to become alot closer to Allah (swt) or more commonly an instinct based reaction which causes us to push away and even trigger a reassessment of the nature of our world or atlest the world we thought we lived in. At which point even a long standing faith may no longer bring comfort.
Even a long-standing faith may no longer bring comfort. This is more likely if the faith is based on self-esteem, status or a sense of belonging, whereas a more intrinsic faith based on well thought-out ideas will be more enduring.
Either way it can lead to depression, loneliness or even anger. The way we experience and precieve things can come under threat. We may even distance ourselves from the people we care about the most. Its like having the rug pulled our from under our feet, which can be both frightening and isolating. How can we go on when everything you believed in, something that once gave you purpose, a sense of belonging, a place in the world is suddenly pulled away.
When this happens we may feel like we've been let down by our belief system, that its failed to prevent something bad happening to us or those we care about. Which can make it hard to reconcile in the belief system with the unfairness and injustice of it all.
IMO the most important thing at such a time is to be kind to yourself and avoid trying to work out why things had to play out the way they did. Something that be really hard, especially if you're like me and over analyse the hell outta everything. If its unclear for a while, try and be patient and go with it.
Realize that you've been through A LOT and allow yourself to grieve for what you've lost. If you're at this point then remember its probably something that meant a lot to you and provided some sort of stability.
Talk if you think it will help lessen the pain to get it out. Confide in someone trustworthy and compassionate. But dont try and reboud towards an alternative belief system straught away to fill the gap. Give it time to re-evaluate your needs. And remember you are not alone.
If your life has been pretty sweet up until now then give it time. Sh1t will happen lol
Comments
My thoughts:
Does God loves those people he gives tests and trials to more than those who get the easy life?
Ofcourse not! that would be...wrong?
Anyway, those people are being tested in a way too - are they thankful of what they have etc etc
Really?
Hmmm...
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
I like that, i get that, it's really me.
Nice work
wise words of wisdom.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Deffo
There is the counter argument that you expect more from the people you love.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
yes but Allah says he tests those he loves...
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Thank you for this....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfXIF2Mm2Kc
This is like 'my nasheed'. So beautiful; I think its quite relevant to this topic.
Love is a serious mental disease.
This happens to everyone at some point.
At which point you may need to consider; was it really Allah (swt) you had your faith in? Or was it something or someone else? Usually you find it was yourself or some other person or thing you thought would work out in your favour but didnt.
Back in BLACK
Yep, happens to everyone at some point
I don't understand. Are you talking about relying/trusting someone sort of faith?
Just read this:
"trials and tribulations are like feeling the heat and cold, when one knows that they cannot be avoided, he will not feel anger at their onset, nor will he be distressed or disheartened" ibn taymiyyah.
What do you think?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
I like.
hmmm
shock
anger
depression
denial
some more anger
Disbelief
a little more denial with a hint of anger & depression
& then gerin diagnosed with anxiety.
i dano wen realistic acceptance will come along
i still don't think it has.
i have to remember that i'm human; and if God made something like that happen, He's got His reasons. (usually; GOd's so awesome, He lets you have an insight into why the stuff happened and you end up: "ohh!! makes sense now!!" we're too emotionally involved in the trial and too in the middle of it all to be able to look at it objectively, we're humans..so no decison-making in those times!
I was trialed at some point...and yeah..nearly lost it...but now, i look at it and im THANKFUL for that trial; because it made me into who i am today and i.. well...i kinda like myself today.
sometimes i regret the way i reacted to the trial and hope God can forgive me for being so...stupid (human) and now i've gotta try and make up for it.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Let me give you an example. Theres this very successful man, he had a career, he had a great loving wife and lots of nice friends. He believed in God and his faith in him was strong. Everything was great until one day, he had a big fight with his manager and he was forced to quit his job. In the same time, some of his close friends left to other countries seeking their future. He became depressed,bad tempered he started to shout on the slightest reason to the extent that his wife left him.
At this point, he stopped and started to think why were all this happening to him? Why did God bring him all these troubles? And shouldn’t God have mercy? But if he had mercy, how can he leave him like that? Maybe there is no God after all.
When the man found that he was on the edge of losing faith, he just stopped thinking and continued living his life normally. He didn’t really knew that has already lost faith, but on the subconscious level.
Years pass, the man finds a better job, his friends return and so he became a kind person again which made his wife return back to him. The man’s faith became stronger than before, after all its God who brought him all of these things back, right? The man thought that his faith was restored.
The truth is, the man’s faith was never restored because it was never lost, because he has never had faith in God, he just had faith in life conditions.
Do you understand? ... after the worlds longest example lol
Back in BLACK
Its quite a frightening example, that.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Indeed
Back in BLACK
yeah...
why dyou feel lonely even though you've always got God?
maybe you did something which resulted in God "distancing" himself from you (sinning) hence the lonelieness?
or maybe you never really were close to God...
[size=5] im feeling extremely lonely... [/size]
the thing is with the first scenario...you might end up in a vicious circle.
you feel lonely and feel like God gave up on you.
you turn to something to compensate/make you forget about the loneliness.
that "something" is usually sin-ish/ful
this leads to you distancing yourself even more from God
You wont go back to God/take the first step [human= stubborn] because you think it isnt fair, you tell yourself that when things get better you'll go back to God
Things obviously dont get better.
this summarizes to
you feel lonely
you sin
you feel lonely some more
you sin
blah blah.
i should go to bed...im obviously Really tired...
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
night x
I understand what your example and that the person never really lost his faith in Allah, but don't understand how it relates to
sorry :S
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
PofS, the dude never had faith in God. so he couldnt loose, regain it.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
:oops:
sorry i missed that bit. (sleep is a great thing)
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Humans need community and things are are similar, tangible.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
What i meant was when everything was going great the man trusted THAT kind of life, and when we get used to a certain style of life we tend to think it will last forever, so we start to have faith in that style of life and not in God. But when everything goes bad, he started to ask himself where is God? And where did his faith go? When actually his faith was in his job, in his friends and in his wife but never in God. That’s why when he lost it all, he believed he had lost his faith with it.
And when that happens we tend to question what and why and suddenly demand proofs that support our old way of thinking.
If the faith you have now is because of your Job, your success, your friends or whatever then its time to shift this faith from those objects to God. Because when you lose these things you'll think that you've lost faith in God, when in fact you didn’t have any faith in him, the faith was in the other Objects you are currently possessing. True Faith becomes stronger when life conditions move against YOU (not admin you, you you... urgh this is exactly the kind of confusion he wanted to create by choosing that screen name :roll: ) and not the other way around.
Hope thats as clear as mudd.
Back in BLACK
Thanks, i actually do understand now, and it is what i thought you meant in the first place!
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Isn't your mentality linked to the beliefs you hold?
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi