someone mentioned something about abaya being just an arab form of dress that is not entirely true. The word jalabiya is heavily discussed by scholars. Some scholars say the jalabiya as mentioned in the Quran, refers to covering entire body including the face, others say it refers to a loose garment covering everything but hands and face.

As for colour i think that's personal choice, but since the entire point of the hijab is to be modest and to "conceal beauty/adornments" it would be wise to stay clear of anything that is ostentatious in the way of colour, or design. But what is considered immodest in one society may not be so in another. In african countries for example wearing brightly coloured jilbabs is the norm, whereas wearing black is the norm in most arab countries.
so basically use your own judgement and wear what you feel comfortable in.

if you already wear a headscarf then i dont think you'll find wearing a jilbab/abaya difficult. i think you've jumped the biggest hurdle if you wear a headscarf, so wearing an outer garment should be easy. But only do it if you're ready, don't feel pressured into it.

one of the brothers said women in islamic dress for lack of a better word, are honoured. well i agree with him they are. they may still be abused verbally, and sadly on occasion physically but sexual harassment is something that they will rarely if ever suffer from. sexual harassment is something i fear more than any other abuse and Allah has truly blessed women by giving us the hijab as a form of protection from wondering eyes. Yes sadly they may still gaze, but little will they see .

Do it in your own time!!!

jilbaab IS quite a big step, it means completely giving up on what other people think of you and also not showing your identity through your clothes.

and @Ocean, what do you mean people didnt take you seriously? Discrimination??

Ocean wrote:

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

Noor wrote:

wednesday wrote:

hmm even though I have to congratulate Fifi on being so brave and determined to take it up... I do however beg to differ with some of the stuff up there... Mainly because I've been there and done that.

such as?

and why?

Well that's what I found out really.

I'm a very erm... ambitious person (alhamdulillah) and yes I do think that a materialistic life holds SOME significance. I believe that we can have materials AND we can be who ever we really are.

I know for a FACT that I lost my confidence by wearing a jilb. It took away all the "excitement" from living a life as a human (I think if you can be a good Human, you can be a an ACE Muslim)

Jilb puts on restrictions. Not only do you see yourself restricting yourself but you'll feel others "blocking" you and their excuse "respect" but I just think it's unfair and unjust! realistically speaking, how many jilb wearers become sales personnels? or doctors? or lawyers? or business women? politiocians?
activists? social workers? zoo keepers? domestic whatevers? personal assistants? Office ladies? LEADERS? and etc etc

BUT if you like an easy life/ a laid back life/ a not so bothered life cos you don't have much to work towards apart from what is not even in this world, then yeah go for it, you don't even have to ask an opinion for it, just DO IT!

I gave up jilb because I was never taken seriously and I was being cut off by many people, and that affects your confidence BIG time!

If you want to get somewhere in life, it takes MORE of an effort and time and persuasion and large stores of persistence to get there WITH your jilb as compared to no jilb. You can be modest and not wear a jilb, but to many "convenience" may just be a perfect excuse.

Hope that makes sense, if it doesn't just ignore me. Astalavista!

assalamu alaikum,

i was interested to know what you mean by an easy life? Are you saying sisters who choose to wear jilbab out of the interests of pleasing Allah as an act of worship tend to have "easy lives"? Ok so i'm a housewife (insignifcant to career women), but when i began wearing the jilbab i was still working in a little retail job, yet it was a fashion chain much like topshop in the city centre. I wore a black jilbab. Yeah i got ignored by a lot of ppl but i also got respected by the large majority. My life did not end all of a sudden because i chose to wear the jilbab. I didn't get fired, the manager didn't start treating me differently.

I think it boils down to how strong a person is. Yes some ppl will ignore you, some employers may close doors in your face, but for every door closed Allah will open another. Wearing a jilbab does not mean your career, or indeed life has ended in anyway. It all depends on confidence and convictions in what you are doing. If your faith is so strong in believing in the importance of the jilbab no amount of negative responses from third parties will matter.

So today i'm married, a mother raising babies with another on the way, i'm a full time carer to eldery person. Yes much of my life is indoors, but i don't believe my life is easier than a career womans, if anything it is more stressful and physically demanding. I find it patronising that you think women who are wearing the jilbab have "easy lives".

As for women wearing jilbabs and being in careers, i visit birmingham a lot, my sister lives there, she works in a hospital as a medical secretary, and she has started wearing the jilbab recently. ~She expressed concerns over lack of confidence at first, but few weeks on, those feelings have gone, she just makes an extra effort to be herself, and not allow herself to be paranoid, a lot of the negative thghts are in her head not onlookers.

There are also countless doctors, consultants, and other medical staff there who wear anything from a salwar kameez, sari to even jilbabs yet still hold down professional jobs. I'm sure the same could be said of any area where there are high populations of muslims. You have not seen it so it may appear like it does not exist.

There are some jobs due to safety or health reasons they may not permit jilbab i.e zoo keepers need overalls and wellies on, jilbab would get filthy. But why can't a sister be a sales rep, or hold a office job without restrictions wearing a jilbab i dont see the issue my cousin does that.

If there was a job i wanted to do which required me to wear a uniform for health and safety, as long as it was loose and i could also retain headscarf i would wear it and take the job. But in every other area of my life i would continue to don the jilbab. So sisters should try and be practical and adapt if necessary, rather than giving up jobs they have been working towards from the age of 15. Islam is not restrictive our understanding of it is incorrect.

Ok so the jilbab is not for you, you didn't feel confident in it, but that's not to say it is a bad thing, or an easy option only for those sisters who have less responsibilities or the so called easy life.

As for your wanting material life, well im sure we all want it to some extent, some more than others, but are you saying it's worth purusing this material life and its enjoyments by disregarding certain dress codes? If you say you don't believe the jilbab as a requirement i can understand your view. But if you're saying you choose to reject it because you want the material life and the jilbab is an impediment, then dont you see something wrong in your thinking? Perhaps you don't when i was at uni i had similar views.

Ocean wrote:

Jilb puts on restrictions. Not only do you see yourself restricting yourself but you'll feel others "blocking" you and their excuse "respect" but I just think it's unfair and unjust! realistically speaking, how many jilb wearers become sales personnels? or doctors? or lawyers? or business women? politiocians?
activists? social workers? zoo keepers? domestic whatevers? personal assistants? Office ladies? LEADERS? and etc etc

what about being persistent and trying to be the first one?

I've decided not to go to the college i applied to. I knew they didnt allow jilbaab but today i learnt they dont allow dresses either. its skirt or trousers

you guys gotta pray for me to stray strong! and to manage to find a solution. (thats im happy with)

i still got to make Istikhaarah and stuff, but i just dont like the atmosphere anymore and i am looking for another way around this.

Btw Ocean. I wear jilbaab and i wanted to become a social worker. my second career choice was psychologist.

Lilly wrote:

I've decided not to go to the college i applied to. I knew they didnt allow jilbaab but today i learnt they dont allow dresses either. its skirt or trousers

you guys gotta pray for me to stay strong! and to manage to find a solution. (thats im happy with)

i still got to make Istikhaarah and stuff, but i just dont like the atmosphere anymore and i am looking for another way around this.

Btw Ocean. I wear jilbaab and i wanted to become a social worker. my second career choice was psychologist.

I think you will be fine. Insha'allah.

Let us know the updates. Are there other colleges you can go to?

Is it an all girls college?

yes it is. and it was the closest from home

there's two more. im going to go there tomorrow inshallah and talk to them. Dunno whats going to happen as i've rejected them previously (well one of them)

Will, inshallah, keep you updated

Lilly wrote:

yes it is.

Do you still find it problematic even though its an all girls college?

wouldn't loose trousers be fine? especially since its an all girls 6th form?

Same with long skirts, unless its the short ones.

lilly you in the uk or France?

Ocean wrote:

Bleurgh

Right, I have no problem in others wearing jilbabs and jilbabees. Someone asked me my opinion and I gave it! I could care less for what you wear and where you wear it to! If you do, good on you! I did once upon a time and I thought it was because it was a uniform, a religious and my college's and I've moved on since, SO WHAT?

you went to a islamic school?

how loose can school trousers be before being too wide on the hips and too long on the legs?

me and skirts arent the best of friends...and im not even sure if them long skirts are allowed.

I did think "ohh but its an all-gril 6th form so it should be alright" but in this school there are quite a few male teachers (unlike my other school where male teachers could be counted on fingers) AND what will i do on school trips? Look like a total prick with my headscarf and pants...

Lilly wrote:

me and skirts arent the best of friends...and im not even sure if them long skirts are allowed.

you trip over in skirts too?

tripping is putting it mild.

Ever seen a niqaabi on a bike?
What would be your reaction?
But if you think about it, whats wrong with a Niqaabi on a bike? (why did i just slightly laugh while typing out the last question?)

awaiting replies eagerly!

A Niqaabi? Ah a Hijaabi on a bike makes me laugh - i don't know why but it just seems really weird (which is why my bike sits in the shed now)

Moving away from niqaabi's and onto beautiful hijaabi's.

A brother once said that he finds sisters who wear tight clothes in the streets more attractive than non-Muslim females who are half naked.

Any truth in this?

MuslimBro wrote:

Moving away from niqaabi's and onto beautiful hijaabi's.

A brother once said that he finds sisters who wear tight clothes in the streets more attractive than non-Muslim females who are half naked.

Any truth in this?

Maybe it's because she's an in between? And gives the impression of 'good enough to be wearing Hijaab but likes to look attractive'

Maybe..

Don't worry I understand your frustration.

Your a man stuck inside a womans body.

Lets not go there guys. Especially since its Ramadan...

URGH! no! i get so annoyed/angry/etc.. when i see a hijaabi in tight clothes. fine, live and let live, but PERLEASE! dont wear the headscarf if you're going to wear tight clothes. Whats the point? and it makes life difficult for us jilbaabis and baggy clothes wearer as people out there just ask us "why do you wear clothes that are ten size too big for you?" "why do you wear the jilbaab? as you know, you can just wear it like them *points at a tightwearer*
AND it makes life difficult in another way, people giving you looks and THINKING that you're "overdoing it" "not wanting to integrate" "being purposefully difficult" "being cultural" when you wear jilbaab, baggy clothes.

Well my dad saw one of them niqaabi biker (cant really put an S at the end of "bikers" coz...i think its a one-of-a-kind thing). It WAS a genuine question. I'd really like to have an answer (just in case i come round to buying a bike and come round to wearing the niqaab)

skirts skirts skirts skirts skirts. If i dont find space in that other college. then thats whats its going to be 5 days a week september to july for 2 years. Allah give me strength.

@Muslim bro: you understand her frustration because....you are a woman stuck in a guy's body? (you kinda did ask for it..=P)

skirts skirts skirts skirts skirts. If i dont find space in that other college. then thats whats its going to be 5 days a week september to july for 2 years. Allah give me strength.

niqabi biker...that must be me in my imagination. Seriously i want a motorbike bad. i dont think its immodest i can wear my helmet instead of the niqab. i'm just waiting for the kids to grow up a bit, i don't want to jeopardise their mummy this early on in life, they need me. But later as long as im not an old fat lump i think i may take lessons. my husband had motorbike in past so either he will have to get one again, or i will get my own.

what about the bike clothes? or are you gonna ride sideways?

@ Hajjar - it would be perfect for a mid life crisis!

Plan ahead as they say.

I also plan to get a motorbike, well... actually a scooter limited to 125cc until I pass my main test sometime next year.

Hajjar wrote:

But later as long as im not an old fat lump i think i may take lessons.

That's a good idea. You don't wanna put on too much weight as your hubby won't be able to share the back seat with you :twisted:

Also, you don't really need to take lessons for the CBT. The place I did mine at, 90% of the people pass 1st time. But for the main test you will need to take a few lessons.

You wrote:

@ Hajjar - it would be perfect for a mid life crisis!

Plan ahead as they say.

Poor kids >.<