[size=18]Polygamy no fun, admits Ethiopian [/size]
[b]By Mohammed Adow
BBC, Ethiopia [/b]
An Ethiopian man with 11 wives and 77 children is urging people not to follow his example and is giving advice on family planning and contraception.
After seeing his fortune disappear under the competing demands of his enormous family, Ayattu Nure, 56, even urges people not to get married.
"I want my children to be farmers but I have no land, I want them to go to school but I have no money," he says.
But his eldest son has not heeded Mr Ayattu's advice and he has three wives.
[b]Share wealth [/b]
Seven of Mr Ayattu's wives live in huts around his compound, which are in urgent need of renovation.
Another four live in huts on the other side of the valley in Giwe Abossa village, 300km from the capital, Addis Ababa in Arsi region.
He says he cannot remember all his children's names but tries to work out who they are from their mothers and which huts they live in.
Mr Ayattu says he used to be rich and wanted to share his wealth around, which is why he took so many wives.
But now he struggles to feed them all.
"I feel like killing myself when I see my hungry children whom I cannot help," Mr Ayattu says.
His wives have given birth to more than 100 children but 23 have died.
[b]School photos [/b]
However, he blames Ethiopia's government for not doing more to help him look after all his children.
"I know I have done wrong by marrying many wives and begetting many children but I think I deserve help from the government."
But his biggest complaint at the moment is with the authorities of the local school which 40 of his children now attend.
They want photographs for each of his children's files, which will further deplete his meagre resources.
He says that he tries to share his time evenly between his wives and children, adding that although quarrels and squabbles are common, they try to solve their problems amicably.
"People see me as a funny man, but there is no fun in my condition. I am a desperate man struggling to survive," he says.
Although Mr Ayattu's eldest son, Dagne Ayattu, does not have a job, at the age of 33, he has seven children and is about to marry his fourth wife.
But he says he will not have as many children or wives as his father.
[url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4720457.stm]BBC[/url]
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!
Let's see if any British Muslim can break his record of 77 kids.
Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.
Any Tom D ick and Harry can marry lots of women and have lots of kids
but only a REAL man can equally look after them all
whats the point of having lots of kids and making them suffer hard times
Salaam
Can any man in this day and age honestly say that he can marry more then one woman AND equally keep them all happy?
My mates dad has made himself ill trying to keep his two wives happy.
Wasalaam
You're supposed to love all your wives equally.
Is it possible to be able to love two women equally, never mind three or four?
You don't have to love all your wives equally...cos that's beyond ones control.
The Holy Prophet
loved Hadrat Aisha (ra) the best.
However, one must treat all their wives equally....that's the difficult bit, cos its human nature to want to do a bit more for the one that they love more...
There's a sect in Israel/Syria/Lebanon that beleives it is impossible to love more than one woman equally, so they've banned polygamy.
Intresting.
But that is true though....one can't divide their heart equally.
More so, I'd say for women....they can only physically/emotionally fully sumbit themselves to one man...this may also be one of the reasons why polyandry is forbidden for them.
i thought it was Khadijah (r.a) he loved the most! :?:
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
I think when Khatija (ra) was alive he loved her the most-always
but when he married his others wives he loved Aisha (ra) the best out of all of them
but I also believe that in this day in age-men cant control one woman let alone four
lol!
I think it depends on where u live and the society. In Pakistan men cant control their wives and those that do marry more than once usually stop with 2 wives, although there are exceptions.
However in a country like KSA where it is a big part of the upper society to marry many times it is easier to control or look after the wives cos the women are so controlled and restricted as a cultural norm. In this case women grow up used to the idea of coming from a plural family and so it doesnt seem so strange? Does that make any snese?
Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.
i heard that in some Arab countries polygamy is so much the norm that the first wife often gets her husband hooked up with the second!! lol!
i'm not so sure i agree with the upper class Saudis being restricted so much as compared to the middle/lower class. they can travel around the world, where the 'restrictions' no longer exist. u only have to go to Oxford street in the summer to know wot i mean.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
1. Yes but even then to leave the country it has to be with permission and no matter how modren the woman is her status in the KSA depends on her husband permitting her to travel from one city to another etc.
2.abt first wife arranging the second marriage I heard a wicked story when i was in pakistan. . .
A husband and wife were married for years with no kids. The husband never said anything about getting married again but his first wife set about arranging his second marriage. She took the proposal to a woman who was her niece by relation ( not a real niece).
Even the husband would say that if ALLAH does not wish for us to have kids then I am happy with his decision. People siad to the first wife that your husband has no inclination to remarry so y dont u just leave it. She would reply that my husband is a good man and I want him to remarry.
Anyway she convinced her husband and her relations to let the second marriage happen. A time after the marriage both wives became pregnant!
When the time for delivery came the amazing thing is that in the morning the first wife gave birth to a son, and a few hours later on the SAME DAY the second wife gave birth to a son also!!!
SUBHANALLAH!
My aunty who told me this story goes that when the people in Jhelum found out they were going mad with happiness and EVRY1 was saying that look how ALLAH rewarded the first wife for her exemplary character!!
I loved that story cos for me it is a clear sign of ALLAH and of HIS miracles for good people.
The first wife was favoured with a child. Further it was a male child. Further it was the first child of her husband. Further it wasnt years before the second wife but rather just a few hours before the second wifes delivery. ALL these for me are too much for it to be mere coincidence.
Amazing story innit.
Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.
Innit!
Irfan off topic here.
But those labour pary and justice party lot had a fight on somerville rd yesterday innit?
Police and dogs came to sort it out.
Lol showing the world that they muslims.
Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.
Did they?
Hah, repeat of last time.
Maybe the fact that Ditta's hall was in the path of the tornado was no accident.
Whose people were involved? Last time it was Shahjahan's lot and his PJP cousins.
shah jahans jatt family and shawkat from PJP apparently.
I swear they make such a big show that we r jatt and the rest of u are kameen, but im glad i aint related to them traitors to islam and the muslims.
and pjp aint much better
Small heath has such high rate of unemployment and lack of academic achievement amongst the young especially and during PJPs rule they closed down the job centre?
Pretty obvious if u take away even the local jobcentre then y shud young ppl go looking for work?
Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.
If you get completely dim-witted, completely uneducated, non-English speaking, status-obsessed nincompoops together in a political party, this is what you get.
and the significance of that is...?
(besides that, good story mashaAllah; reminds me of the story of Ibrahim (a.s): Hajar and Sarah...)
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
Why on earth would any one want more than one wife?
The thought of more than one Mother-in-law should be enough to deter most men surely?
its a true event.
i cant really explain properly the significance of her having a son but basically she held the unique status of at once being the mother of his FIRST child and i believe that the woman who bees mother to the first child is always a special position further she had a son so the oldest son, the next head of the family was born from her womb also.
Its kinda odd to explain but in jhelum the ppl were going mad with happiness cos the first wife was favoured with a great blessing in every way!
Become obedient to the Chief, Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa sallam, so ALL chiefs become obedient to you.
lol!!
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
i dont think she was rewarded-
i think she should have tried with her husband for a bit longer
if i was her I'd be so angry with myself that I pushed my husband into the arms of another woman for no reason
she must have had a lot of willpower and patience to be able to do that - a noble woman. we should not succumb to our instincts, rather overcome them with such islamic qualities, inshaAllah.
[size=9]I NEVER WORE IT BECAUSE OF THE TALIBAN, MOTHER. I LIKE THE [b]MODESTY[/b] AND [b]PROTECTION[/b] IT AFFORDS ME FROM THE EYES OF MEN.[/size] [url=http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/Dust.html]Dust, X-Men[/url]
love all your wives equally..
of course u can,
now, about dividing your heart amongst different girls.. u dont have to in my opinion,.. just a mindset.
way i see it, u either love someone, or you don't..
now you can prefer spending the night with one wife, or you may enjoy the other wifes company better, or one of your wifes might annoy you, you may not even be attracted to one of your wifes..
but it dont mean you love any one of them less?? does it?
[b][i]Round and round the Ka'bah,
Like a good Sahabah,
One step, Two step,
All the way to jannah[/i][/b]
You can't love anyone equally! The parents even don't love their children equally there is always a favourite.
In Islam you don't have to love your wives equally but you have to treat them equally, spend equal time with each wive and if you buy one wife a present then you have to by the other one the same present whether she needs it or not.
THROUGH LOVE all that is bitter will be sweet.
Through Love all that is copper will be gold.
Through Love all dregs will turn to purest wine.
Through Love all pain will turn to medicine.
Through Love the king will turn into a slave!
okay prob comes down to defintion of love,.. i hate discussions on love as it goes on forever!
but how do you quantify love? way i see it you either love someone or you don't.. you cant half love someone or quarter love someone.. can you?
im not a very poetic person, hence quotes such as 'my love for you is greater than the universe and everything it contains', is pretty much the same as 'i love you'.
the example with children, okay i accept parents have their favourites.. but I dont see how it makes them love one kid more and the other one less.. :?
i dunno, does Islam have a defintion of the word Love?
[b][i]Round and round the Ka'bah,
Like a good Sahabah,
One step, Two step,
All the way to jannah[/i][/b]
Well favourite means holdin more of a desire for that person over another so that would mean loving one more than the other, but love can be shown in diff. ways..i would like to think my parents loved us all the same but they do have their favourites, i would imgaine my mum's favourite to be my spoilt older sis.
Salam
I know two boys who have three wives each. And the wives are so happy. The men have their own businesses, and they are very fair and kind to their multiple partners. They all seem happy enough.
Like the Furbal said: Its takes a gentleman to bring joy to a fair lady.
I, on the other hand, would marry only one.
I dont believe that one can love more than one.
Omrow
how cms i havnt heard of that story im frm jehlum....
a mans only allowed to marry 4 times i heard....does a man have to have a reason to marry the second time something valid for instance his wife cant concieve or is it no reason.
imo theres nothing wrng with having alot of children as long as u can look after them..coz u meant to be producing alot of children so this muslim ummah grows and theres alot of reward for having children.
and if a guy has more than 2 wifes he shud treat em the same and his children and try giving them the same amount of love...i've realised when u have kids the first 1 gets spoiled most like my sis .....i'd spoil all mine equally coz i know how it feels not being the favourite .its alwayz the middle ones left out
okay sure you got da favourites.. okay I don't have any children, but i've got siblings.
i can say I like one more than the others, but I cant say I love any one of them less.
If I had to choose between them, to only have one or the other, I don't think I could make that choice.
Similarly, If parents had to choose between their children,. yes they may have their favourites, but that don't mean they gonna dismiss the others, just because they like them less.
I aint an expert in Love, but I'm sure the word has a deeper meaning than just 'liking' someone.
I dunno, the way I see it we take responsibility for those who we care for, we would die for people we love.
How many people in your lives would you die for? How many people in your lives do you live for? I can think of several in mine..
[b][i]Round and round the Ka'bah,
Like a good Sahabah,
One step, Two step,
All the way to jannah[/i][/b]
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