Dangerous Allies

i wrote this poem quite a while ago..(maybe more than a year, can't remember clearly) so even i dont understand some of the things i wrote, it was an english homework, an "extended metaphor", and I know it needs redrafting but I can't find those feelings anymore so I'm just going to post it raw, feel free to comment.

Dangerous Allies

I've been shot
------------------and it's dark outside
the pain is throb-throb-throbbing
streetlights too far apart
clar—ity
through the swallowing darkness

what's that?
Everything's blurred, mixed-up feelings
Pain, Night
Hallucinations, Shadows
Broken dreams, Suffocation
Scars, Loneliness
Seeing things that are not here.

This Confident Fear
the premature end is so close, so easy...
---------------------------------------------So is the bedlight
But where is help? and where is the switch?

Protection is needed, so very vulnerable
Walking alone through the tunnel, looking down in the night
Guardian/Angel

Peaceful Blindness
I can't see, it's dark, it hurts
But now I've got time
At last I can rest
I can grow up, mature, strengthen
I have time to think, to reflect

The unknown...
stand up tall, pick yourself up
For now you are stronger
Then you will ever be
For when you have felt pain and you have overcome fear...
What can stop you?

Comments

Cannot really comment on the poem, but on the question of being shot and lying there... I think that would result in a loss of blood and hopefully a loss of blood results in a light headed feeling where things don't matter. peace.

Or it could be an awful thing where you are writing in pain while the life slips out of you.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Wait, does this remind anyone else of the opening scene in "Reservoir Dogs"?

(That popped in my mind, but there is some other scene from somewhere else in my mind that this is reminding me of. I just cannot remember what.)

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

see?? thats imagination!!

and you're not suppose to take everything so literally doctor, you sound like you're ready to jump in my poem an take the person to hospital!! (but you might be right in the lightheaded thing...)

the poem was suppose to be an extended metaphor, i think it was depression is like the night and i guess the shooting part goes with the depression part... or the shooting IS the depression as in guetting shot by depression,

does anything ive said made sense? im just going to be quiet now.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

yes it does.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.