Just a quick question really for anyone to answer or opinions. Arranged marriages are looked upon as the right thing in Islam? so why did allah create such a thing as love and emotions and lust which draws most people to have a girlfriend or boyfriend? confusing or what?. let me know your thoughts.
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You can love and have lust for your wife. You can also love other things for reasons other than lust.
"If crack cocaine was a bad thing, why is it so addictive?"
If love is something that takes time, would it be there if you never got yourself a girlfriend/boyfriend in the first place? Once you go down the path, the rights and wrong can seem harder due to you not being in a neutral spot.
And if you (or anyone else including me) do(es) go down the haraam/disliked paths marriage is still an option.
PS arranged marriage is not the only way. if you meet someone who you like, you (probably depending on the situations - opposite gender, she is not already married etc..) can marry the individual.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
becauuuuuse
Life is a test!
Duh xD
#Before you look at the thorns of the rose , look at it's beauty. Before you complain about the heat of the sun , enjoy it's light. Before you complain about the blackness of the night, think of it's peace and quiet... #
what if she's not really a looker? and has a bad personality, your stuck for life then?
You could not marry her in the first place - you are supposed to look and make sure it is a person that you like.
("til death do us part" is more a christian concept...)
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
so are you trying to say you should only marry someone based on their looks?, now thats quite low, what about the all important person inside, how would you know?
life is a test, well seems like abit of a confusing test lol, abit of opposite rules going on.
you ask them questions, you talk to them. you decide if the person is suitable for you.
Different things are more important to different people.
An article you may or may not like: The Do’s and Don’ts of Meeting a Potential Partner
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
What do you consider to be opposing rules? but yes, it can be tough and is a test really a test if it does not take you to the maximum of your abilities?
(saying that, life matters to, so it is more than a test - it is life.)
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
well you shoudlnt be finding this out after the marriage??? and bad personality...people do change. When two people understand each other, it makes them and their live's easier.
Being stuck??
freedom of choice!!!
there's allways a way out just like there's always a way in!! whether you succeed or not is down to you!
to be honest we live in this whole get married and divorce the day later kind of society today, i think marriage is starting to lose its meaning and i thought talking to females and getting to know them is like a 'date' is that even allowed in islam?
Or maybe the "it can only happen once, so it has to be perfect, lets now allow for there to be anything left to chance" was a distortion?
Ideally marriage should be once and lifelong, but that is not always possible due to a variety of reasons.
Dating and asking questions/talking are different things. The latter does not involve candle lit dinners, walking by the beach and a late night kiss (if I go by the hollywood version).
Some people will date for years, got way longer than many marriages last, and there something is wrong - it should all ideally be within a marriage framework. (There is also a fear of divorce because the settlement can be costly)
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
im kinda drained out and annoyed so u might wna ignore my post
first impressions of the title: what a stupid question.
i cant even be bothered to write anything else.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
Salaam. Many bros and sis please can u ignore my post aswell, this is solely for the power of silence. I think that these type of posts should be kept to themselves. If you couldnt be bothered writing anything.......Why did you...????!!!
Bro kamran has taken time out to discuss this subject and therfore made a topic of it, because surely,,, most certainly alot of people mostly the youth ask this question. And also people that have commented on it in a productive manner are aware of this fact. May allah forgive us all, and raise us among the pios people on the day of judgement. INSHALLAH.
Wsalaam.
LOL, ur comment was as unnecessary as mine.
clearly i wrote that reply just for the sake of writing it, i gave you a warning and told you to ignore it yet you chose to ignore me.
P.S
I hate it when people go off topic; apoligies to Kamran, Inshall'Allah i'll write a proper reply later on.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
@ Power and mAfm: This what the tribune is for!
@ Kamran: You should get to know someone you are seroiusly thinking about marrying. Have mahram present and ask questions. The mahram stops it being a 'date'.
Gentleness and kindness were never a part of anything except that it made it beautiful, and harshness was never a part of anything except that it made it ugly.
Through cheating, stealing, and lying, one may get required results but finally one becomes
A stupid question, no i think the words your looking for is a very relevant question? this topic is always debated about by the young and old, i think that we all bend the rules in some ways when it comes to getting married or getting to know someone by meeting them etc. To be honest i'm all for it, was just trying to clear the picture by asking what extents does islam allow you to go to get to know someone of the opposite sex.
Firstly, scrap that :
Secondly, to answer your question:
Yes, love is allowed in Islam, Islam is all about love
Love and lust are different things. Although lust is natural it is only for your husband/wife therefore you have to avoid premarital relationships. It is hard to ignore our desires but you must remember that there are great benefits from not having a BF/GF. Some being:
and the list could go on really.
As the others have said you can look for a wife and get to know them as long as there is a mahram present. And it is possible to find a partner without dating. You might find this thread helpful: http://www.therevival.co.uk/forum/general/4629
There is a reason behind everything Allah(swt) has told us to do and it's all for the best. (however annoying that sounds - its TRUE lol)
But couples should get married asap if they get into a relationship beforehand. They should concentrate on their love and make the marriage rather than thinking "it might end in divorce, so forget it" - yeah i know thats not exactly what they're thinking but still...
At the end of the day if they get married they would be following what Alah(swt) has said and the teachings/practices of the Prophet(saw. That is surely a great thing for them. ofcourse just cuz they do follow Islam doesn't mean their life will be easy but in those times in hardship, they can turn to Allah(swt) and Insh'Allah be helped. Being in hardship does bring you closer to religion, strengthens your imaan etc, most of the time. If the problems are really bad then the couple could divorce.
There is a reason behind everything Allah(swt) has told us to do and everything that happens and it's all for the best. (however annoying that sounds - its TRUE lol)
May Allah guide us all to the straight path and give us the courage to stay away from sin. Ameen.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
i also hate it when people go off the topic... hint hint the power of silence...
next time try writing somet more productive, sumat wat sumat wants to hear.....
i think even this comment of urs was unnecessary... so really i fink it just runs in ur blood stream lol.... luvin da site
OP; Pakis do not equate to Islam! te Prophet
's first marriage was based on love - in its truest form. not the modern terminology which is inherently lust.
Correction: Prophet's
first marriage was based on TRUST.
and due to that trust, love developed. no ?, the 2 aren't mutually exclusive.
You will love/like anyone if they are trustworthy but the point is TRUST brings about a lot more than just "love"
I disagree, I trust lots of people. I trust that the bus driver isn't drunk and knows the route; I trust that the shopkeeper gives me the correct change and that his/her food isn't poisonous; I trust my bank with my money.
I don't love any of these people.
Love is about recognising someone's being/soul, and deciding if their good characteristics are so positive that you can ignore/tolerate their bad points. It's about sacrificing part of yourself for them. Yes, trust is an element of love, but it's such a small part of it, I don't think love can grow FROM it. There needs to be something (other than trust... and lust for that matter) as a starting point.
Personally, I found love and then was betrayed... even though I don't trust the person in the same way as I once did, I still love her. Don't know if that's enough for a productive marriage, however.
And in regards to the question, which is really about how we can go about finding a potential marriage partner, I think some people need to accept that we don't live in small primitive village society anymore, and if people meet potential spouses and go out with them etc, then it's not ACTUALLY a bad thing.
I don't think anyone can say that it would make someone a 'worse' Muslim just because they did this, and I don't think anyone can say it would make someone a 'better' Muslim just because they sit at home wanking all day instead of meeting up with girls.
Sorry if this is too frank, but I don't think skirting round issues in the name of 'taste' is a valuable pursuit.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
so according to you, dating is absolutely fine and not haraam in any way?
I'm not talking about black and white, halal and haram extremes.
Im talking about living in the REAL world.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
islam is not the real world?
It is. But the 100% ideal Islamic life is unattainable by us.
Islam is NOT about black and white, halal and haraam extremes. That's what the Daily Mail and/or the Taliban want people to think it is, but it really isn't. Or at least the Islam that I converted to is not like that.
Is having a boyfriend/girlfriend a morally bad thing? It's a different question to whether sex outside marriage is forbidden.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Depends on what is done, what processes are followed, who is present and how modest it all is I would guess.
But then again, if all those are followed, it would not really be dating would it?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
no.
it could be if we tried.
no one said it is. islam is a way of life... the laws within are black and white once understood and there is no such thing as halal and haram extremes. if something is halal, it is halal and if something is haram, it is haram.
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