By Alveena Salim

Easy! Check him out…he must be the fittest boy I've ever seen… lets sit closer to get a better view … Gwaan check him out, but don't be too obvious…

Sound familiar? Its one of the most common topic of conversations in most schools and colleges, "We're only looking, it's minor" is the defensive response of most. However the question arises "Is it really not that much of a big deal?"

In our society the seriousness of sins has been downplayed, almost everything is "minor".

This is because we have a tendency to self-justify our actions by comparing sins with other sins. We look at the extreme actions of other Muslims such as fornication or adultery and compare them to our own. That way checking out a member of the opposite sex seems trivial in comparison. However we fail to realise that a sin's a sin, which all bring about the wrath and punishment of Allah (swa).

We live in a society in which promiscuity is shamelessly encouraged. We are confronted with many tempting situations such as the endless choice of cable/satellite channels, obscene billboards that are plastered all over the place and the minimal clothing that women adopt as soon as temperatures increase. However, moral degeneration of society is an excuse that will not be valid on the Day of Judgement in the court of Allah (swa).

Many brother and sisters dress to impress, they pass of signals that seem to imply that they want people to look at them. Even so, we are only accountable for our own actions and we will be held accountable every single prohibited glance; regardless of how irresistible the brother/sister was looking.

Lowering the gaze is a sign of modesty, which in our society is perceived as being a feminine characteristic; this is due to the social construction of gender. As a result men seem to be excluded from this concept whilst women are expected to behave in a demure manner.

However, modesty should be incorporated in everyone's character, regardless of gender. We should bear the example of our Holy Prophet in mind, who was described as being "shyer than a virgin behind a veil".

A wise man was once asked "How does fornication begin?" he replied "through looking and wishing".

The first lustful glance leads to wrong thoughts, these thoughts then turn into desires, the desires become firm intentions and then these firm intentions are transformed into actions which lead to the flirty conversations, the lies, the deceit, the sneaking about, and then the secret meetings.

It's similar to the dominoes effect. This is why we are told that anything that leads to haraam is haraam in itself. We should also realise that prevention is better then cure.

The Holy Prophet described the glance as a poisoned arrow from Satan. Satan enters with the glance; he passes with it travelling faster then the wind. He makes what is seen appear more beautiful then it really is. He promises false rewards and ignites the fire of desire.

The object of ones desire then preoccupies the heart and prevents it from the remembrance of Allah (swa). After all how can Allah (swa) enter a heart that's occupied with the remembrance of another?

The one who does not restrict his/her gaze is often a victim of infatuation. Infatuation can be described as a sickness as it affects the heart through yearning for the forbidden, it affects the mind by preoccupying the thoughts and affects the body for one often experiences loss of appetite and sleep. One's infatuation is often mistaken for true love.

In most cases one does not even know the one that have supposedly fallen for, they fail to realise that they have only fallen for their looks. True love for someone is rooted in the knowledge of them. If one does not fully know someone they can not claim to love them. According to Mawlana Rumi ignorance does not lead to true love; this also rejects the notion of "love at first sight".

It has been said that there is a direct link between the eye and the heart. If the eye views the prohibited, then the heart becomes the centre where dirt, filth and corruption reside. Furthermore, setting loose the gaze cloaks the heart with darkness and makes it blind to the distinction between truth and falsehood.

When the sight is restrained the heart finds relief from having to go though the arduous task of wishing and yearning for the forbidden. For when we sin, we do so against the heart which enters a state of spiritual agitation. One should also know that Allah (swa) knows our most innermost thoughts, so it makes sense that we make them suitable for viewing.

A wise man once said "whoever enriches his outward behaviour by averting his gaze away from forbidden sights, his insight will never falter". Allah (swa) blesses such an individual with an abundance of His light, through which he can see what others can not see.

The Holy Prophet has said

"Whoever lowers his gaze for Allah, He will bestow upon him a refreshing sweetness which he will find in his heart on the day he meets Him".

In order to taste the sweetness of faith, we must refrain from viewing the forbidden. Yes, it is difficult because we live in morally degenerate society and yes, it does demand a lot of self-control and discipline. However we should realise that difficulties, hardship and inconvenience suffered for the sake of Allah (swa) will bring us immeasurable rewards and a multitude of spiritual benefits. Allah (swa) has told His Beloved Prophet to tell the sincere believers that He is most Jealous of anything that they may wish for beside Him. So we should bear in mind that Allah (swa) can not enter a heart which nurtures the yearning of another.

May Allah (swa) increase our self-control and give us the towfeeq to lower our gaze at all times, Ameen.