[color=magenta]Assalamu alaykum[/color]
[color=magenta]Hope all brothers and sisters are in the best of health and imaan insha'Allah.[/color]
[color=magenta]It's been a while since I posted here.[/color]
[color=magenta]But I was wondering do any of you brothers and sisters have any tips/advice as to do when you are getting followed?[/color]
[color=magenta]Basically, today i was followed by this idiotic man, and i felt so powerless as to what to do, i start walking slowly, he does the same, waiting to fall back in step with me, i start walking fast, he does the same, i walk into a shop he waits outside for 10 minutes.[/color]
[color=magenta]This has happened quite a few times, and every time it happens, I go back to square one, being ultra terrified of Bengali men, staying in doors, hoping it was a bad nightmare.[/color]
[color=magenta]Thing is, scenarios such as the above is so common, sadly, it has happened to so many people I know.[/color]
[color=magenta]When we speak of it, different people suggest different things to do, like one friend would say speak up, so he knows he can't mess with you, but another would say don't speak up because guys like a "chatty girl" another friend would say look him in the eye, showing you mean business, but another would say, avoid eye contact he will think you are "asking for it".[/color]
[color=magenta]Also, i've realised the times it has happened to me, i tend to freeze, can't think straight, and feel like an emotional wreck, today it got to the point where i needed to calm myself down for 5 minutes in the middle of an exam :([/color]
[color=magenta]JazakAllah for all your thoughts and input before hand[/color]
[color=magenta]Wa'salaam[/color]
Avoid eye contact.
Ignore.
Try to shake off or lose him.
Stay in a crowd/amongst family/friends...
Avoid subways/quiet roads or alley ways.
If he dares to touch you then slap him.
Some people just get their kicks out of following girl...most of them are too cowardly to try anything.
Next time it happens visit or call on someone you trust and who is capable of issuing a stern warning, and point the guy out. Take it seriously. If you don't think legal options are called for at least make loved ones aware.
MS is right. Stick with friends/family. Safety in numbers. He aint gonna try anything.
Walk home with someone, or get someone to pick you up.
You dont seem to be the overly confident type to tell him where to get off. So thats out of the question.
If he tries anything or if it gets worse, call the cops. Theres such a thing as protection from harassment Act. They'll string the f*cker up (sorry about my french).
DO NOT LET HIM CORNER YOU.
Or alternatively you could always ring Haffy-bhi to call down his boys and go medieval on his a$$.
Back in BLACK
My mum said she doesn't know a woman who hasn't had some sort of scary experience like this. Unfortunately some stories don't end with just following/stalking, they can be a lot worse.
My dad told me that whenever he was walking along a quiet road and there was a woman walking a bit in front of him, he would always make a point of crossing the road away from her so she didn't get worried/paranoid.
I'm surprised that noone has mentioned reciting Ayat al-Kursi. If nothing else, at least it will put your heart at rest, insha'Allah.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
wa'alaykum assalaam ya ukhtee!
good to have you back dude! i take it this kind of stuff is still happening :(, anyway, next time a freek decides to stalk you just scream, shout out loud 'you perv get away from me!' should do the trick. don't bother staying quiet, you've dun that for too long and the same old crap keeps happening. tell ur dad/uncle or brothers if its getting really bad, this guy was obsessed with one of my cousins, would send her stuff through the post, wait outside her house and what have you, she told me uncles and they sorted him out!
reminded me of saturday, we were in manchester city centre and a dog decided to follow us and u no how much i hate dogs so me and cousin ran into debenhams, next thing we no someone the age of my dad decides to follow us, so we just ran towards the exist, he comes rate behind me tapping my back and i thort sod that so i ran outside to find a bunch of pervy arabs, the start saying all sorts following me and my cousin so i ran for the opposite payment only to nearly get killed by a tram!
Something tells me he's an MI5 agent trying to follow you!
Do you know some self-defence? Karate, Judo, Ju-jitsu, Tae-Kwondo or anything like that? That's always an option.
If not then just hang out with friends DON'T let him see you alone. That's the worst thing that can happen.
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
salams,
In addition to the great tips muslim sis gave i would recommend that sisters get trained in some sort of martial art. You don't have to become a pro,just join a class tell the teacher you wish to learn self defence.Those of you living in large cities like London have no excuse there's so much available for women.
I have a daughter and i think its essential that she learn some self defence when she's a bit older starting from 4 yrs with her bro, they do little ninja classes nationwide, i'm sure you've heard of them.
Also if you're being followed persistently by the same man then screaming won't help. The situation is very dangerous and shouldn't be handled lightly,file a complaint with the police.That way they'll keep logs of everything and that will act against him should things get worse,insha'Allah this man will see sense and move on.
“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]
some good advice you getting from people already..would especially recommend aytal kursi
it seems you may have some anxiety issues judging from the last paragraph you wrote.. I know it not your fault people constantly looking/following you .. but maybe it’s a good idea to see a counsellor so at least you mind well be at ease when this situation arises again.. just a suggestion
and hope the exam went well!
she cant report it bcz its a different man each time!
Whoever said don't look them in they eye is full of brocolli. If confronted look them in the eye. Last thing to do is look down or away showing fear. Remember 1 thing no sharp movements with hands, body or eyes. They indicate fear and instability.
Do not confront them first. Do not talk to them if they talk to you (if he does make sure he knows your not scared by looking him in the eye once for 3 seconds). Make a phonecall, DO NOT, and dear you cannot know how serious I am when I Say this - HESITATE TO CALL THE POLICE. Thats what they are there for, not just to solve crimes but also to prevent them. Certain minorities in this country think they can't call the police because they'll get in trouble. Well tough, thats why you pay taxes and if you don't.... thats why I pay taxes.
One more thing you can to is look for the closest person and on instinct if you feel its right then approach them and tell them. Stay in a lit area and reach in to your bag. Take your eyeliner out and pretend its a weapon.
Best of all though, say a little pray!
I would say carry a taser or pepper spray (even better.... bear mace). Unfortunately they're all illegal in the UK.
What about one of those panic alarms that are so loud that it attracts people's attention and so they come to help.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
I was gonna say that but I prefer offensive 'weapons' rather than defensive ones.
If that had been me i would have stopped, asked him really loudly so that the passersby can hear, why the f**k he was following me. 9 times out of 10 it does the trick, they will be too embarrassed to say anything and back off. Confrontation is best, by staying quite he knows your scared and therefore will carry on what he is doing. If your too scared to confront someone then stick with family or friends who will. Guys who follow girls around are too cowardly to say or do anything. And remember its not your fault nor are you to blame if a guy is following you around.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
Yeah I didn't go, but I know a few people that date. There was also a motion to let the government chose the delegates! Or something, right-wing like that.
Those people I knew did a fairly good job, I think.
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
Assalamu alaykum
Sorry for the late replies, was just caught up in exams, but wanted to say a great thanks to all of you guys for your advice.
[b]@ MuslimSister:[/b]
Avoid eye contact-i do that naturally, can't look him in the face
[b]Ignore-[/b] yep too scared to say anything
like they cant be with u 24/7
[b]
Try to shake off or lose him-[/b] i can't manage to do that.
[b]
Stay in a crowd/amongst family/friends...[/b]it happens on a busy road and crowded place, and it's not always possible to stay with friends and family
[b]Avoid subways/quiet roads or alley ways.[/b]again, i do that, it happens in busy places
[b]
If he dares to touch you then slap him.[/b] i can't even look him in the eye cuz they terrify the life out of me, i wouldnt even be able to touch him.
[b]@ Joie de Vivre:[/b] i'm scared to get my fone out, incase he tries to make a grab for it :(.
[b]@ brother Seraphim:[/b] you know when it comes to situations like this i can't do nothing, i freeze, i'm in a state of shock.
and your dad has the right idea mashaAllah.
[b]
@ brother Ya'qub:[/b] Ayatul Kursi great advice jazakAllah khair
[b]@ Noorie Woorie:[/b] sis you know well enuf to know, especially at times like these i can't open my mouth like its glued together
you know i saw someone i could ask for help, but something just stopped me from approaching someone for help.
[b]@ Courage and Hajjar:[/b] hehe i do know how to do judo, but never in a million years have i done it on someone as a form of self-defence it was just a thing i used to do as a hobby.
[b]@ Popadom:[/b] it's different freaks at different times, so if i do notify the police, wht do i say to them??
[b]
@ MuslimBro:[/b] you know even if i carried those sprays, i prolly wouldnt hv time to think to use it
[b]@ Naz: [/b]jazakAllah for your comment sis, cheered me up a lot
i know i'm not to blame, but there are always going to be people who have the "blame the victim routine" and think people "ask" to get followed.
and finally [b]anon11:[/b] whoever you are thank you for your advice, the exam went good alhamdulillah
[b][color=DeepPink]O you who believe, If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm[/color][color=DeepSkyBlue] {Surah Muhammad7}[/color][/b]
Well, maybe Karate might be a better option for on the spot "battles"
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.