Right, we all know that in Islam cohabitting is Haram, while marriage is Wajib. But how do we "build the case" when we talk to a Westerner? You views and arguments please!
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Why "Build a case"?
What is the real difference between the two? except for the marriage ceremony(and the cost of a lavish marriage) and the lack of major costs when/if things break down? (Some women take their men through the rinser...)
If a person is serious enough to consider cohabiting, there is not much difference going the whole way to marriage. Have a simple ceremony, get a pre-nup (Is that Islamically allowed?).
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I thought a pre-nup was recommended in Islam?! Anyway, the government have bought in new laws that mean the legal rights of co-habiting couples is practically identical to married couples.
There is a funny interlude on an Outkast album (from my jahaliyyah days!) that goes:
[i]Romantic music plays in the background...[/i]
[color=darkred][Man] Hey baby.[/color]
[color=green][Woman] Yeah?[/color]
[color=darkred][Man] I know we've been together for a long time, right?[/color]
[color=green][Woman] Yeah.[/color]
[color=darkred][Man] Well, I got one question to ask you.[/color][color=green]
[Woman] Yes?[/color]
[color=darkred][Man] Will you marry me?[/color][color=green]
[Woman] Yes![/color]
[color=darkred][Man] Good, but I got one mo' question.[/color][color=green]
[Woman] Yeah?[/color]
[color=darkred][Man] Will you sign a pre-nuptual agreement?[/color][color=green]
[Woman] WHAT?![/color]
Don't just do something! Stand there.
No idea about pre-nup. That is why I asked.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Pre-nups are allowed.
They form part of the contract of marriage, in the even a divorce takes place.
Back in BLACK
Some ppl when they get married the husband gives a sum of money (i think its called Mahr) to the wife. Sometimes the intention to give that moeny is just stated when they get married but no money is actually given until they couple get divorced.
A couple months back a couple were gonna get married (i think i could be related not too sure) and the husband said that if he and his future wife were to divorce he would give her x amount of money at the time of the divorce. The birdes side kicked off saying no you either give the money now or the wedding is off. He refused they didnt get married.
As for co-habiting i dont see the point. If two ppl dont wanna get married then whats the point of living like one!
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
As far as I know the latter is wrong.
A womans money is her own - even when married.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
im on about the guy who has to give a sum of money in case they divorce she wont suffer financial hardship.
Ive not said anything about the womens money.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
The "Mahr" has to be given before the marriage is consumed. It is as far as I know totally unrelated to divorce.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
oh right i see.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
You guys know too much about marriage... or I know too little.
What's a pre-nup?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenuptial_agreement
Don't just do something! Stand there.
you better start learning then
Soz , but that's funny!
I think that thing in the nikah is about what the husband has to give to the wife in the event of a divorce. I think the purpose of that is to make the husband think twice about divorce and to make him do all he can to make the marriage work, ie the higher the stakes the more he'll lose.
However, at least in this country, I don't think that means the wife won't still rinse him if they divorce.
How many brothers here would contemplate a pre-nup if it is allowed in Islam?
And what about the sisters... would you be offended if your prospective husband said he wanted a pre-nup?
Can someone please explain what a pre nup is. Few lines will do. Thanks
When a man and women get divorced by law i think the man has to give some or half his money to the cow *cough* ex-wife but a pre-nup will stop this payment, usually seen with a lot og hollywood weddings.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
Someone who’s not a GCSE student please. No offence Funzo.
How did i know you were going to say that :roll: :roll: , how can i not take offence i think it was imam ghazzali ra who was asked how did you gain so much knowledge he replied because i wasnt ashamed to learn from a 7 year old or a 70 year old i think you should bear that in mind
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
Lol. When the husband (or wife) states as part of the marriage contract what they will give to their spouse if they divorce. If both agree, then they marry. And they can't go back on it as both have previously agreed.
For example if a husband said he wouldn't give anything of his, no money, no house etc if they divorce and the wife agrees, ie so the wife not getting anything is their pre-nuptial agreement - it is whatever they agree will happen (before they actually marry) if they ever divorce.
It is so that a person can't rinse the other one out after divorce. People advise famous people to do this in case the person they marry is only marrying them to get their hands on their money.
So what i said was right? and theres different parts to pre-nup's for instance they has to be a reason for breaking up.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
Oh sorry! And i'm not ashamed lol, i juts knew what kind of answer i would get from you! I was a GCSE student as well you know!
Jaazakillahu khayran Imaani.
Whats your point? okay you put a blank quote then you entered a message how was i suppose to know you where going to edit it.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
Nothing
Hmmm not sure but probably will be offended! We're meant to be getting married and you're already thinking about divorce! Wa Allahu alam.
As we're on the topic of marriage, how many brothers here will take a second wife or a third or a fourth! And sisters, how would you feel about it?
He's not thinking about divorce. He's making sure you're interested in him... and not his money.
Back in BLACK
It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if he wanted a pre-nup. I used to think it was really bad and whatever happened to having trust in Allah swt, but now I have heard of some girls who have been really greedy when their marriage has broken down and done their best to rinse the guy out. In fact I think if a guy is really loaded then maybe he should take out a pre-nup. I think that if someone advises you to take out a pre-nup then you definitely should, as it's better than being naive coz as they say love can be blind lol. If your both committed to each other then a pre-nup won't matter.
I wouldn't want my husband to take a 2nd wife. And that's it.
Well the dude obviously doesn't know enough about his to be wife if he thinks she's gona rinse him out if they get a divorce. Again depends on the couple.
Islamically they don't need our permission SO if you husband did take on another wife, how would you feel? Would you get a divorce? And women will out number men in the future, 50:1 so there won't be enough husbands to go around which will mean, sharing husbands!
Nah i would stick to one stops them from being jealouse prevents one half of me being paralysed on the day of judgement.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
I thought islamically they did...
It would depend on his reasons for doing so...
...I'd be really hurt though.
That's exactly why i dont want to marry twice most women are fragile creatures.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
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