Salaam ppl
Some of us have a child/children. Most us want to have children one day. Some of us will have already decided how many we want. Some of us will have already decided on names and careers for them. But has it ever occurred to us well what if it not in our kismat (destiny) to be blessed with children then what? Guys would you marry again in hope that your handaan (family) name will carry on? Or would you stay with your wife and accept your fate? (that you’re infertile and no matter how many times you marry there will be no kid)
Women would you allow your husband to remarry if you were the infertile one?
My grand father’s brother and his wife could not have kids. He never remarried nor adopted instead and had a lot of animals who he considered his kids. Another guy and his wife from my village back in Pakistan couldn’t have kids either. Again the guy never remarried and instead had a lot of cats. There is a guy that my dad knows and he has married 6 times in hope of a child but still no child.
None of them wanted adopt for one reason…. That the child will never be your own, when they go astray it hurts more.
There use to a girl (Muslim) that went to my primary school. Social services took her bro away when he were 2 or 3 after their mum took the kid to the doctors with a broken leg!
He was adopted by a childless couple here in the UK. He is now at university. He could have left his adopted parents when he turned 16 but he never did. He knows where his parents and brothers and sisters live but he doesn’t visit them. His brothers on the other hand spent 5 years in college before getting chucked. Their parents took them to Pakistan and got them married off. They have a couple of kids now but can’t get their wives or kids into the country because they don’t work. They mess around with other girls and sell drugs for a living.
They say a house is not blessed by Allah (swt) if there are no children.
It is said that if you adopt a child you will walk hand in hand with that child into Jannah.
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H.) was an orphan.
So why is it that childless Muslim couples do not adopt?
Jazakallah x
if someone's reason for not adopting is cos the child will never feel like 'there own', and don't see having pets would compensate in any way.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
depends who my wife was really. if it was a love marriage then ad stay with her and accept my fate. bt if it was sum mangator 4rm pakistan then i would defo get married agen lol
probably beacuse the feeling that no matter what happenz, the child is not biologically thiers. imagine telling you child when he turnz 14 that "puthar, we got somehing to tel u, we are not ur real parentz, you were adopted....."
not a very nice thing to say izit?
"ThiS WoRlD Iz A PrIsOn 4 A BeLiVeR AnD PaRaDiSe 4 A NoN-BeLiVeR.........."
I don't think we are allowed to put that off "til they turn 14".
Islamically one must know who their parents are. Only "exception" is that a married woman's child's "father" is always her husband.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
oh comeon... thats bs and you know it.
People of the "pakistani" disposition dont wanna adopt kids bcoz theyre too busy with their heads up their a$$e$ thinking they all that! and the thought of adopting a kid who parents you dont even know creeps them out. Like they're soo clean and the kids are something filthy.
That kinda mentality really pisses me off. These people dont see an innocent child with no home, they see somebody elses problem and adopting that kid would make it their problem.
Back in BLACK
Adopting a child is a noble act. But its not a piece of cake either.
If the adopted child is a guy his mother will have to do pardah (cover) from him when he reaches puberty.
If the adopted child is a girl, she'll have to do pardah in front of her dad when she reaches puberty.
And adopted siblings will need to do it in front of each other too, when they grow up.
'adapted' lol! 'we made you out of spare thing we had lying around...
'
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Are there any UK Muslim Adoption agencies? (quick Google search returned nothing...)
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Noone is stopping you from going out and adopting a horde of kids... (or would that be agauinst the law?)
Point being it is easy to criticise others.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
What if a couple tried and tried for a kid and then decided to adopt and then had a kid of there own, would they love the adopted kid (adapted in makaveli's case) less?
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
Yeah, but wheres the fun in that?
IF and when I cant have kids... i reserve the right to adopt.
And no freako is gonna stop me.
Back in BLACK
What if that freako is the guy who makes the decision in whether your allowed to adopt?
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
I'll cross that bridge and blow it up with C4 when i get to it.
:twisted:
Back in BLACK
no comment.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
im sure you wont
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
"ThiS WoRlD Iz A PrIsOn 4 A BeLiVeR AnD PaRaDiSe 4 A NoN-BeLiVeR.........."
Firstly you nasty so and so have a heart.
Secondly why would you marry someone who you are not remotely attracted to nor do you have anything in common with?
Thirdly what makes you think a "mangator" from Pakistan would want to marry you! They do have standards.
I dont think there are any Muslim adoption agencies in this country but most ppl if they do adopt tend to adopt from abroad (ie Pakistan). Its really complicated adopting from abroad and time consuming.
But when do you tell a kid that you are not their real parents? What if you decide never to tell them and then they hear the kids whispering in school what then?
I remember back in college when we were filling out our UCAS forms for uni there was a question which asked to state any pervious surnames you had. My tutor was peering over while i was filling it in and started to tell me that she had a student last year who was filling out her UCAS form and she came to this question and decided to have a look at her birth certificate. There was a different name on it so she confronted her parents who told her that she was adopted. Apparently she was absolutely devastated.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
Firstly you nasty so and so have a heart.
firstly i do have a heart, bt i dont use it often lol
Secondly why would you marry someone who you are not remotely attracted to nor do you have anything in common with?
secondly dats just the way it is. marry someone who u never met and spend your life with them, only reason av not got a problem with it is to keep my parents happy
Thirdly what makes you think a "mangator" from Pakistan would want to marry you! They do have standards.
thirdly al go with a [b]british[/b] passport round my neck. we'l c hu says no them lol
"ThiS WoRlD Iz A PrIsOn 4 A BeLiVeR AnD PaRaDiSe 4 A NoN-BeLiVeR.........."
No thats not the way it is. The word chicken and mouse comes into mind lol.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
If the woman suckles the child then she doesn't have to do pardah in front of him (if its a boy) and likewise if it's a girl. The father becomes her mehram. Not sure about the siblings but if the girl doesn't have to do pardah in front of the dad, then im guessing it's the same for the siblings.
Can anyone back me up on that, i'm certain i've heard this somewhere.
And the child must be told that he's adopted but at what age, i don't know. Probably when he/she becomes baligh.
standards :? are you mad?
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
What are you trying to say about people from Pakistan?
That they will do almost anything to get to this country.
The ones which come from the shanty towns that is.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
Some yes but not all. My dad is dying to go back but none is willing to go back with him.
Go back where?
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
PAKISTAN. Come on Funzo, this is not like you.
Sorry, i was just clarifying yeah most people who come to england from pakistan realise that this isnt the utopia they were hoping for and then long to go back.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
I have heard that Ethiopia is a beautiful country...
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Must be.
All ppl have standards just the ppl from Pakistan might have to lower their standards if the person they are about to marry just happens to have a British passport.
But come on if you lived in Pakistan you would do the same (i know i would). Anything has got to better then living down there.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
i mean utopia
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
Dont bet on it.
Apparently some have standards (ive just heard this... as shocking as it might be).
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