When I first saw him I recall thinking I don't want to be seen within 100 miles of this dirty tramp.

I asked my cousin what this guys name is. "They call him Ment"

What a stupid name. What's Ment ment to mean?

"His real name is Moazam" my cousin explained "they call him Ment because he's Mental"

"Oh right, so he's actually mental is he?" he sure looked it.

"I don't no, no one ever takes him seriously or gives him the time of day, he's just Mental"

It seemed the whole village was in on this. All 14 people in his household called him Ment (even his 2 year old sister - she did sound cute when she said it), the neighbours all called him Ment, even the shopkeepers and the policeman called him Ment.

You only live twice?! Something for you to all watch! It acts as a reminder to always think twice about the choices we make in life and to choose the better options! Remember where you've come from and where your heading..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJndzTc6G-0

(Oooo, kind of scared me, a quarter of the way through, when something unexpected popped up! And the fake 'red' paint is not of my liking..)

I heard there's a place called The Alhambra Palace, and another place called The Cordoba Mosque. Both are architectural gems that can found Spain.

Spain - ruled my Muslims for a good number of years. There are other improvements to the way of life for the people of that region that were made by the Muslim rulers. The Mosque and Palace was not their only contributions.

I hear they greatly improved the education and infrastructure of this place.

The Public Bath House was another of the great works of these Muslim rulers. I hear some of these bath houses have been restored to their former glory and are being used for the purpose they were created even today.

AN EXTRACT FROM A DEEP AND MEANINGFUL BOOK:

Janet and Trudy we laughing quite uncontrollably as they sat into Trudy’s little red car on their way to town. The sun was shining bright, almost blinding. Not warm enough to be wearing vest tops and miniskirts as the two girls who just walked past though which is why Janet and Trudy were snuggled up in their cosy summer jackets.

Life was good as a pensioner despite incidents like pulling up to the lights on Upper Market Street and the salesman like gentleman in the car behind honking his horn. “It’s OK Trudy” reassured Janet “just ignore him. You were right to stop at the amber coloured light. It’s the safest thing to do. You can never be too careful you know. He should learn to be a little more patient”

Surely there must be a joke in here somewhere.

This is the third time I think I have heard of such a tactic, and a third failure.

Any good standup comedians think up of a line?

One that is appropriate?

All those people experiencing wet conditions right now may not be aware that many parts of the UK are currently facing drought.

I was just reading this article in The Guardian and to me its pretty shocking. The government is in action, it wants to install more smart water meters which will force people to be more efficient in their water use because using more will cost more.

This may save up to 2% of the overall water usage.

This is billed as a big efficiency.

On the other hand leaking pipes in the UK, pipes owned by the water companies are thought to have so many leaks that 25% of the water is lost before it gets to a place where it cna be used.

I was walking past the Dawa stand, munching on my sandwich, minding my own business after Jumma on my way back to the office when the Brother called me over.

“Asalamalykum Brother” he said.

I replied with the standard “walaykumasalam”

“I see you’re on your way back to work for the capitalist kuffar so I’ll not take too much of your time” he began.

‘Capitalist kuffar’ I thought to myself, ‘that’s not one I’d heard before, I’ll have to remember that’ and secretly smirked to myself at what may follow on from this comment.

“Sheik Saab is doing a talk this Sunday at the Dawa place and we’re trying to get as many brothers to come to it as possible. Here’s 5 leaflets for you, give them to some other brothers at your work and bring them along with you too”

Salam Alaykum people,

I just discovered this brother from the US, who got me thinking about how we recite the Quran in our prayers and how we should be doing so. Do you ever feel as though in salah that your mind is drifting?

Maybe this could help you.

Reciting with Maqama- Raef Haggag

I was just looking through the internet and came across MYH (Muslim Youth Helpline)It's like a confidential non judgmental helpline for Muslim Youth who are experiencing the "down" of the ups and downs of life.

They have their bank details on the site and need regular donations. Something as little as £15 will help support one helpline volunteer for a whole month.

In my opinion, this is a really good organisation that should get the help and support of everyone which is why I'm setting up a standnig order this afternoon.BTW - £15 is not the minimum donation they take. According to the website it could even be a £1 one off donation (15 people do this and that's one volunteer supported for a whole month)

I was once told that we should all pay 2.5% of all our worldly posessions as like a charity tax every year.

My cashflow is usually a bit all over the place and I don't think I ever have 2.5% of what I own as liquid capital in my account at any point in the year.

I do however make regular donations (monthly ones to like Water Aid and NSPCC and one offs like to the chap whos doing the 10k to raise money for the Revival) throughout the year that amount to more than 2.5% of everything I own.

Does this count? Do I get let off the hook for not having made that one off donation last Ramadan?