My first memory of the unexplained magic goings on I have is when I was just six years old.

We had a breakfast bowl, it was like a football cut in half. I really like it. It had been acquired by collecting tokens from Corn Flakes boxes. I only ever ate breakfast from this bowl.

It was a weekend. Saturday morning. I was the first one up as usual. It won’t be until half a decade later that I’ll realise there’s no glory in waking early and start to have a few lie-ins.

I went to the kitchen, got the bowl from bottom drawer, got the Corn Flakes from the breakfast bar, got the milk from the fridge, sat on the stool at the breakfast bar and began eating.

I had just finished serving a regular customer. A local builder who had been using our garage since before I started there four year earlier.

"Yeah, I'm off to that nightmare project again. It's a load of b0110ck5 really. They should get shot for treating me this way but hey ho life goes on right? I'll learn from this and never take on a job from t0553r5 in big houses again" He called over his shoulder as he walked out of the shop.

"How ignorant !!!" Jan began, "He's so impolite. Never says Please, or Thank You. Always going on about his jobs. I was raised to always say Please and Thank You."

Right now, I feel like I only have two days to go. I feel that in two days, I won't be able to eat and drink during the day so I should make the most of it now.

I wonder if I'll feel like that in 30 days time. Will I be thinking "there's only two days to go so let me grab as much reward as possible"

I'm sat in the middle of the room.

It is a room, not a warehouse.

Warehouses have those tin roofs, but this hasn't.

This room has a flat roof.

It's not a normal room though, this one has a really high ceiling.

As high as a warehouse, or aeroplane hanger.

But unlike a hanger, this room doesn't have a roller shutter across one of the walls.

All this room has is a small 4ft door.

The ceiling height must have be at least 15 ft.

It's hard to be sure of the height when it's as dark as this in the room.

It's the sort of room where you'd expect to find rats scurrying along the the floor.

But the only sound is my thoughts.

The sound of my thoughts is bouncing off the walls.

I know I still need to do more studying, but I can't start until my wife finishes. If we're both studying at the same time there will be no one to do the chores.

So while I'm not studying, and when I've finished the chores I have some spare time.

I spend some of it with my children. Reading, playing, shouting etc etc...

Then I still have some time left over.

What can I do with this time?

I want to get involved in a project. Something that'll help the community. Help the needy etc etc.

Something that my son cah help with on weekends too, and then in a couple of years my daughter can get involved too. (but only if they want to)

But what? What can I do?

Recently came across this nasheed again and I'm not sure I understand it all but from what I do understand it's deep, powerful and beautiful. The sound of tears by Nader Khan: (I was going to attach the vid but Suhail beat me to it. See comment below )

Redemption from desire
Desires a lonely crier

AstaghfiruLlaha inn Allaha Dhu Karamin (I ask forgiveness of God! Truly God possesses generosity)
Wa rahmatin lilladhi qad taba min zalali (And compassion for the one who turns away after his errors)

If only you knew, 

the things I went through, 

the first side of June. 

If only you saw, 

my good luck withdraw 

that night I met you 

If only you'd been 

the one that had seen 

my hope crush and die

by the end of July 

If only you focussed 

you'd know by mid-August

That next June would be without you. 

I've decided to start blogging again. Well actually I decided months ago, but only just getting around to it. I'd love you guys' opinions on my thoughts, even if you disagree. and if you think that your opinion doesn't matter, you're wrong :]  Tbh if no one comments on my blogs, I'll just lose heart and stop doing them cos I'll feel a bit stupid :L 

Israel has a population of 5.9 million (Israeli) Jews.

There are are also 1.6 million Israeli arabs.

The West Bank holds 2.6 million Arabs and Gaza hold 1.6 million Arrabs.

Total all that up and you get 5.8 million Arabs. They also are growing at a faster rate.

So what should be sought is 1 vote for 1 citizen there and if that was achieved, all would be golden.

Source for figures

So - it's about time I got married.

I found a woman who was willing to take me regardless of the mess I was.

So, I went to her to get married. Arranged everything (food, guests outfits etc etc)

Then came the day of the Nikkah. The Imam said "How much "Haq Mehr" you putting down?"

I thought "You what? what's one of those?"

So my dad said the amount while I still wondered what this was.

Sheepishly I asked "What is the Haq Mehr?"

So the Imam began to explain "It's a payment that a man makes to his wife before the Nikkah. It's purpose is to protect the woman. So that she has something to fall back on if the marriage fails. So she can get by for a bit until she sorts stuff out."