There once was a village in Muslimistan, where a young boy called Wali Nuteen lived. He was a kind, fun-loving adventurous boy, who was Sunni, practicing, tall, with a fair complexion, steady job and a healthy respect for Shia people, without appearing dogmatic. In fact, just the kind of description any Muslim lady scouring adverts on Muslim matrimonial sites would be happy with.

One day, Wali was walking along the main street of his village when he spied a beautiful lady. In an instant, he fell in love. The girl was called Begum; she was from a rival tribe. She was 23 years his senior, and already married. But he still, Walis love for Begum knew no bounds.

A primary school in Weston-super-Mare has been criticised for banning Valentine cards to save pupils the "emotional trauma" of being rejected.

Children at Ashcombe Primary School were stopped from exchanging cards because the head teacher said they were not emotionally mature enough to cope.

Peter Turner told parents of the 430 pupils that cards would be confiscated.

One pupil's mother said: "I think it's outrageous. They're just children. Why spoil their fun?"

The woman, whose son attends the school, said: "It's comical really. I couldn't believe it when I saw the newsletter.

"My son is six and he's had a little girlfriend since nursery. They say they're going to get married, but we don't read anything into it."