·         Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, he had been with us for many years.

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·         No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost.

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·         He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

·         Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

·         Why the early bird gets the worm;

·         Life isn't always fair; and

·         Maybe it was my fault.

He lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Thing like:

·         A 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;

·         Teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and

·         A teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student.

He lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

His condition declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer an Elastoplast to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

He lost the will to live as:

·         Religion became contraband;

·         Churches became businesses; and

·         Criminals received better treatment than their victims.

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·         He took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

He finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

·         Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

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R.I.P Common Sense.

·         And the ones who preceded you in death:

·         Your parents, Truth and Trust,

·         Your wife, Discretion,

·         Your daughter, Responsibility,

·         Your son, Reason.

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·         I also hope and pray that those you’ve left behind don’t live as long as you did. Your 4 stepbrothers:

·         I Know My Rights

·         I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame, and

·         I'm A Victim.