Hahaha

Published by _Me_ on 30 October, 2011 - 21:58

Saalam everyone Biggrin

I decided to post some jokes to make yous laugh, (or at least smile!) Biggrin

Feel free to add any of your own!

W/Saalam Biggrin x

Submitted by _Me_ on 30 October, 2011 - 22:00

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come all of grandma's hair are white?"

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Submitted by _Me_ on 30 October, 2011 - 22:01

Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."

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Submitted by _Me_ on 30 October, 2011 - 22:07

A father sends a small boy to bed. Five minutes later...
"Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later...
"Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you, NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!"
Five minutes later...
"Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT!?"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

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Submitted by You on 30 October, 2011 - 22:21

Lol

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"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Submitted by _Me_ on 31 October, 2011 - 15:36

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down.....

Wife; "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"

Man; "Sorry I thought it was the start of Eastenders"

Lol

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Submitted by Bilan on 1 November, 2011 - 00:55

so lame..and no i have nt had a look yet Blum 3

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"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"

Submitted by Foysol89 on 1 November, 2011 - 05:02

Don't worry they are lame but i didn't wanna say anything...........

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Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH

Submitted by _Me_ on 1 November, 2011 - 15:31

Foysol89 wrote:
Don't worry they are lame but i didn't wanna say anything...........

Cray 2

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Submitted by Foysol89 on 1 November, 2011 - 16:20

_Me_ wrote:
Foysol89 wrote:
Don't worry they are lame but i didn't wanna say anything...........

Cray 2

The white hair joke was ok Smile (made me smile)

Don't worry lame jokes can be cool too, some are so lame you can't help but laugh.

I've got one

What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink?......

Whataaaaaaaaaa Lol

Another one

What do you call a Sikh man standing on one leg?......

BalanceSINGH Lol

Ok this joke makes no sense but still .....i like it.

There were 3 men running away from police (don't ask why) an englishman, a Welshman and an Irishman. They run round a corner and see some empty sacks so they decide to hide in them. The policeman comes round the corner to see them missing but notices the three sacks. So he taps the first sack and he hears a *meeeeaaow* so he leaves it. He hits the second sack and hears * dog barking* so he leaves it. He come to the third sack and taps it and he hears *(in an irish accent) POTAAAATEERRRS* Lol

Ahh i'll stop now

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Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH

Submitted by s.b.f on 1 November, 2011 - 16:25

No offence Foysol, but your jokes are the lamest ones I've read in a very long time...

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Submitted by Foysol89 on 1 November, 2011 - 16:29

s.b.f wrote:
No offence Foysol, but your jokes are the lamest ones I've read in a very long time...

That's what i was going for......

All my other jokes are either racist or sizeist or sexist or otherwise offensive to some....don't ask why

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Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH

Submitted by TPOS on 1 November, 2011 - 16:50

s.b.f wrote:
No offence Foysol, but your jokes are the lamest ones I've read in a very long time...

I think he was going for the 'so lame you have to laugh' thing lol

I like the whataaa one lol

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"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

Submitted by Bilan on 1 November, 2011 - 19:16

Foysol89 wrote:
s.b.f wrote:
No offence Foysol, but your jokes are the lamest ones I've read in a very long time...

That's what i was going for......

All my other jokes are either racist or sizeist or sexist or otherwise offensive to some....don't ask why

same. the irish one did make sense. they like their taters dont they?
i liked the eastenders one. made me sing the theme tune. all of youse now #doof, doof, doof, doof,dun dun dun dun, dun-dun..dun...dun dun dun dun..dadun dun dun dun duuuuu# thanek u thanek u and a kanicheewa Dirol

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"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"

Submitted by LookingToSee on 1 November, 2011 - 20:21

you think you know the irish dude, only thing you know is the potato thing and thats still a bit iffy.

i liked your jokes "me" especially the kid one. they didnt make me laugh out loud, but they did make me smile!

Foysol... such guy jokes.

can we have a riddle thread?

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Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Submitted by _Me_ on 1 November, 2011 - 21:49

Saalam Biggrin

Good to hear lol, at least they made you smile Smile

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Submitted by LookingToSee on 1 November, 2011 - 22:01

Three men were competing to see who was the most cruel. The first one attacked a man beating him till he was bleeding and couldn’t stand. The second man saw him in this state and stamped on his hands and face over and over. He turned to the others and said, “No one can be worse than me”. The third one said, “No, I am the worst one because I just stood by and watched. This man is my brother”.

The victim is Babar Ahmad. The first man is the police. The second is the Judicial System. The third are the Brits who did nothing when they knew about the injustice..

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Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Submitted by _Me_ on 1 November, 2011 - 22:05

Lilly wrote:

Three men were competing to see who was the most cruel. The first one attacked a man beating him till he was bleeding and couldn’t stand. The second man saw him in this state and stamped on his hands and face over and over. He turned to the others and said, “No one can be worse than me”. The third one said, “No, I am the worst one because I just stood by and watched. This man is my brother”.

The victim is Babar Ahmad. The first man is the police. The second is the Judicial System. The third are the Brits who did nothing when they knew about the injustice..

I got a text about this as well

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Submitted by TPOS on 1 November, 2011 - 22:05

That's no joke!

Although when I started reading it, I thought it was going to be one

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"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

Submitted by Foysol89 on 1 November, 2011 - 22:21

Yeah seriously the wrong topic for that Lilly but thanks for sharing. Read so many different versions.

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Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH

Submitted by Ya'qub on 2 November, 2011 - 12:04

In what way are those 2 jokes appropriate for an Islamic forum?

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Don't just do something! Stand there.

Submitted by Foysol89 on 2 November, 2011 - 13:44

They need to be deleted. Plus they were terrible

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Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH

Submitted by Bugz on 2 November, 2011 - 13:48

Ya'qub wrote:
In what way are those 2 jokes appropriate for an Islamic forum?

Oi, freedom of expression???

Submitted by Bugz on 2 November, 2011 - 13:56

Foysol89 wrote:
They need to be deleted. Plus they were terrible

serious?? lets see you do better wise guy!!

Submitted by Bilan on 2 November, 2011 - 14:07

Bugz wrote:
Ya'qub wrote:
In what way are those 2 jokes appropriate for an Islamic forum?

Oi, freedom of expression???

There is no such thing

—

"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"

Submitted by Bugz on 2 November, 2011 - 14:19

bilan wrote:
Bugz wrote:
Ya'qub wrote:
In what way are those 2 jokes appropriate for an Islamic forum?

Oi, freedom of expression???

There is no such thing

you wish

Submitted by Ya'qub on 2 November, 2011 - 15:57

Bugz wrote:
Ya'qub wrote:
In what way are those 2 jokes appropriate for an Islamic forum?

Oi, freedom of expression???


There's plenty of Places on te Internet for smut.
This isn't one of them?
Freedom of expression is not the same as telling (pretty rubbish) jokes bout sex on a forum that is dedicated to Islam & therefore (atleast tries) to have some standards.

Plus, kids come on here. Would u shout those jokes in a park with children around?

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Don't just do something! Stand there.

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