"Med" wrote:

This aint the thread for me to get into this topic, this thread is an encouragement for the Respected Muslima.

But if you actually read and tried to understand what I wrote, things wouldnt be so confused for you. Bechari.

[b]They are the women I am AWARE of who do purdah, I dont knw abt any1 else, I didnt say any1 else does or doesnt do it.[/b]
I have nothing further to add.

Peace, a word from a Lord Most Merciful.

This question has already been answered even before it was asked.

I see no benefit in your questioning and to be honest your logic and methodology of making a point baffles me. Why do you ask questions which have already been clearly answered? And what is it that you hope to gain from this questioning?

Your issue is that I mentioned two ladies specifically, and didnt mention others and from this you take that I assume they dont do purdah. Well I cant see into the unseen, those who I know do purdah I recommended for advice, sorry but by us ilm ul ghayb is by my ALLAH alone, how do you expect me to mention other ladies specifically when I am unaware of their oberving hijab or not? But even then I covered that issue by mentioning ''believing women who have been mentioned and those who have not''

I have made quite clear that I am unaware abt the condition of the other Believing Ladies, so I referred to the two that I am aware of but also added that the others can also be turned to for advice. In future I wont do such a sin.

MuslimSisLilSis, it appears you wish to debate with me on issues which are not worthy of any major consideration. Why it is you feel the need to get one over me is not in my understanding, but whatever keeps you happy.

"Med" wrote:

MuslimSisLilSis, it appears you wish to debate with me on issues which are not worthy of any major consideration. Why it is you feel the need to get one over me is not in my understanding, but whatever keeps you happy.

i dont feel the need to get one over u

but i do love argueing with u

simply and only cos ur views and behaviour fascinate me

I have never met anyone I so totally disagree with

never met anyone like u

it fun to have u on this forum-

k, salaam.

"Med" wrote:

k, salaam.

I'd say ditto-but I know I'd get banned frm coming here

I'm already on my last warning. :roll:

So..I'll just say laterz

I'll disagree with u some more later. its dinner time.

Stop it the pair of you - your ruining the thread with your petty arguements

Med never intended to disprespect any of the other sisters here, and has clearly stated so

End of - further posts regarding this little battle will be removed

i got to agree wiv Angel at the end of the day its your decision nobody else can make it for you and if your mates claim to be your friends will understand if you do decide to take it off. There were alot of girls at my college who use to wear hijab but it was so obvious that it wasnt for religious purposes, yeah its true people do think of you bad if you dont wear it (talkin from personal experience) but at the end of the day just ignore it, you've got nothin to prove to them. I think peer pressure plays a major part in this and one should not feel pressured to wear the hijab just to fit in but because they truely understand the concept of wearing it and why they are wearin it.

THANK U Phantom!! :roll:

Muslim princess, welcome to the forum!

funnily enuf, u remind me of one my friends who started wearing hijab about a year ago. she was in an easier position than u tho, as she started along with another friend of ours, and her 2 sisters. i understand it must b much harder for u without support from those close to you.

the reason u remind me of this friend of mine is coz she still calls me up for a chat when she has wot we call her 'bouts of hijabi doubt'. so ur not alone. many girls who start wearing hijab in their teen years or later do doubt their decision. Shaitaan will make u feel u are not ready for it, or that u are not doing it for the right reasons. think of it this way: even if u arent doing it for the best reasons at the moment, atleast u are fulfilling a fardh act and not displeasing Allah.

it may well be that u are concerned about wot others may think of u, but this isnt reason enuf to remove ur hijab. also, are u sure ur friends wud look down on u if u took off ur hijab? mayb u r assuming things? but to be sure, just ask them! if they do not make it clear that they are with u no matter ur decision, then they are not worth having as friends.

and lastly, dont ever feel u are alone in this! dont underestimate the power of du'a. before u go to sleep, just make a simple du'a for Allah to make things easier for u. when u feel there is noone else to talk to, open up to Allah.

May Allah protect you and guide u always! ameen.

"muslim_princess" wrote:

thanks naz so did u used to wear hijab..did ur mates in college take it off den...lolol..im sorry im askin all des questions its jus like dis is a big deal 4 me n i dunno wat to do..well i no ppl r gna chat bout me bt no1 but dos 2 hijabi mates of mine no iv becum hijab so no1 bt dem 2 will chat

Never really wore a hijab, i wore it last ramadan only to keep ma pops

happy lol but this yr i didnt coz i thought wots the point if im only gonna

wear it durin ramadan and then not afterwards thatl just makes me a

hypocrite. Like i said b4 the girls at college only wore it to fit it not for

religious purposes, so if you wore a hijab you were a saint and nobody

would think you were bad (but i can defo assure you that the majority of

girls that wore hijab did stuff that i wudnt have even contemplated of

doing) but if you didnt you were a s**g and thats what really gets to me

the fact you dont even know somebody and you judge them on the fact

the dont wear a hijab must mean they are a s**g. But girls at uni are so

different its obvious they where hijab for religious purposes and not to fit

in.

"muslim_princess" wrote:

aaaaaawwwwwww thank u ur sooo sweet bless u lol...na i NO they wud cos ders this 1 girl dat used to wear it n she tuk it off n dey back chat bout her sooo badly n i dont wnt dat to be me du no wat i mean..

i no wat u mean bout dua n i cry at nite cos i think allah will be mad at my decision to tkae it off n i pray so hard for strength but i dont no wats rng wit me..

hijabis dont hav a right to be judgemental. :roll: u should tell em backbiting is much worse a sin than removing ur hijab!!

nothings 'wrong' with u. part of being human means we're weak at times. keep up the du'as (and salaah!) and inshaAllah ul b fine - remember the hadith Qudsi in which Allah reassures us that our efforts to obey Him and get closer to Him are not futile:

“I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly [with the angels] better than that. And if he takes one step towards Me, I take ten steps towards him. And if he comes to Me walking, I go running towards him” (Al-Bukhari)

you are a better person than them, dont take no notice of others, theres ppl who just cant help but preach and those muslims are the ones you wanna watch out for coz they tell you not to do summit coz its against islam but then they do it. Dont thik bout wot other people will think of you. You got to do what is right for you, only you know what is best for you and most importantly dont let anybody ever get you down. If ppl are gonna talk behind your bk let them theyl get their punishment sooner or later. Allah Almighty rewards those who are muslims by heart and punishes those who gossip and backbite.

"muslim_princess" wrote:

thanks for that aasiyah n i tink ur rite..dey shudnt judge me..du wear hijab..

no prob, and yes i do, alhumdulillah.

"muslim_princess" wrote:

alhamdulliah sis so wen did u start did u feel lyk me wen u 1st strted sorry if im askin too mnay questions..if im feeling really bad is it rite to take it off

lol, ur justified in asking as many questions as u want as far as i'm concerned. i started wearing hijab when i was 12 years old. and no to be honest, i didnt have 'hijabi doubts' too often coz many women in my family aswell as my friends all wore hijab, so it was quite normal for me. i was lucky, alhumdulillah.

wot do u mean by 'feeling really bad'? in wot way?

"Aasiyah" wrote:

the reason u remind me of this friend of mine is coz she still calls me up for a chat when she has wot we call her 'bouts of hijabi doubt'. so ur not alone. many girls who start wearing hijab in their teen years or later do doubt their decision. Shaitaan will make u feel u are not ready for it, or that u are not doing it for the right reasons. think of it this way: even if u arent doing it for the best reasons at the moment, atleast u are fulfilling a fardh act and not displeasing Allah.

I think a very important point is raised in the above paragraph. I think this ''doubt'' can be extended to everything, for men who keep beards they doubt at times and wonder if they should shave it, for those who pray the fard salah, they sometimes doubt and feel like giving up.

I have made a realisation. Respected Muslima, this doubt in regards to religion is in my view gonna be with you your whole life, and it will be with every muslim all his life. This is the whole test. I think no matter how many years you become a regular namazi, there will always be times when you feel dejected and feel like giving up, or no matter how many years you been wearing the hijab, there WILL be times when you feel like discarding it. Ami I right or does any1 disagree?

So, in this new found discovery, I think that if you put it off for a later time when your ''stronger'' that day isnt gonna come, reason being that Shaytaan the Accursed is ALWAYS gonna be there to whisper his nefarious plots and machinations into the hearts of men. (had to get a bit of my old rhetoric in !)

So, Respected Muslima, I think you should stick with it and I KNOW for a fact that you can keep your scarf, I have FULL confidence in this.

yep Med, good point.

but with regards to doubting hijab, there comes a point in life when uv been wearing it for so long, u just cant imagine going out without it.

agreed bro

drop some more rhetoric!

Muslim_princess, jus a lil request... please type in as much full english as possible

its hard 2 read!

hmmm, maybe it gets EASIER over time, but I personally dont wnna be complacent, like now alhamdulillah I would rather be dead than beardless, or be seen without a topi etc. But who knows what the future holds, I wouldnt be surprised if I get doubts and feel like shaving, wearing jeans and t shirt and going on drugs or leaving uni and dealing. Cos ALL these things are temptation that ALHAMDULILLAH, it is my ALLAH's grace and favour that so far HE has kept me protected.

tru, Allah guides whomsoever He wills, so we should always make du'a that we remain on the Siraat al-Mustaqeem until we die.

absolutely true.

"muslim_princess" wrote:

asalam alakum bros n sistas...i just becam hijabi a month ago n its hard i have to admit but isnt dat feeling suposed to go away by now..i new i was gna feel lyk o i wna take it off cos im not used to it but its still der deep inside..i dont want ppl to tink bad ov me or [b](EDIT)[/b] or netin lyk dat but i jus need help!

i think u've got enough good advice from everyone, med aasiyah)

just would say i know its hard to do hijaab first time and its gonna take alot of courage for you to do SO since you've never done it before, but believe me if u willing and determined enough nothing can stop you from achieving what you want,

u need to bear in mind that when u feel the urge to take it of that is shaitaan trying to invade an attack on you he will try his best to take control of ya heart BUT in order to displease him which is what we should be doing we need to keep our hearts firm upon deen.

so i say now u've made a start stick with it dont back out be determined
and inshallah u shall succeed.

p.s dnt pay attention to them snobs

DELETED

"f020855" wrote:

ASSALAMU-ALAIKUM MUSLIM - PRINCESS! WHY DID YOU WEAR IT IN THE FIRST PLACE? WHO YOU TRYIN TA IMPRESS SIS? !

Wearing a scarf for the first time is very difficult for most girls. People look and behave with you differently..some people get used this change quicker then others.

I remember when I first started to wear a hijaab a few mates stopped associating with me! That was very hard...

Of course, the more one struggles for the sake of Allah (swt) the more reward they recieve....

People need be sympathetic and supportive to such girls...

By the way, there's no need to shout.

Assalamu Alaikum,

I think the sister has been bombarded with advice, so I'll add one more for full confusion. I won't encourage you to remove your hijab, because that would mean I'm encouraging you to rebel against Allah. But I will say I know how you feel to some extent. I didn't want to remove the hijab because I had doubts about it's validity in Islam. But because i was afraid of being treated differently by friends, family, and work colleagues etc. I was also scared about how ppl in the streets, buses etc would treat me. After my initial paranoia, I got used to the whole idea. You have been wearing it for a month I think you said? Which isn't really long enough to adjust.

Give the hijab a longer trial. Seeing as your friends don't make you feel great about yourself it would be wise to get some space from them. I'm not saying break ties altogether, just get some time out.

My friends were not positive forces when it came to the hijab either. Some of them made me feel like I was trying to act holy, when all I was trying to do was act upon a divine law, only to please Allah. Others said nothing bad but nothing good either. They didn't really support me much. Friends can either make or break you. If our friends don't remind us of Allah then are they friends worth having. If they don't wish paradise for us,If they're always ready to put us down, If they can't be trusted are they worth having?

Similarly with family. I must be the only hijabi in the history of my family for God knows how many generations, and I kid you not. It's no wonder they made such a fuss, ridiculing me. Trying to scare me into taking it off. Allah kept me strong, and He will keep you aswell.

You need to ask of Him (swt). None of us can really help you. If you seek advice seek advice from Allah, He will open doors for you. He will remove your burdens. Pray for yourself that's the best thing you can do.

Please read this:

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=4862&CATE=128

P.S why don't you join a new muslim group? I know you're not a new muslim (don't think you are) but they will be more welcoming to you that certain muslim groups, sad but true. They will be more aware of what you're going through

Or join a sisters study circle, go to sisters events, they're good ways to make new friends. Friends who will insha'Allah understand and support you.

just to put a little less serious stance on this post...
Maybe just maybe when ur thinking twice about whether wearing hijab is the right decision for urself...just ponder over this little ode of mine

Her long, thick, shiny black hair
Fell against her back.
Her rich, copper skin
Gleamed in the sunlight.
Her slender figure outlined,
With her soft voluptuous curves.
But when she stepped outside,
She became a ghostly figure of the night.
Nothing more to the people
Than a dark, shadowy figure of oppression.
But she showed them.
As she walked down the street,
People made way,
Men lowered their gazes in utmost respect.
And others whispered,
As she held her head up high,
With pride in her belief
And showed them how oppressed she really was!
While they whistled at their women,
Looking them up and down as they were
pieces of meat to be inspected?
She pitied their savage ways.
As she walked into the arms of
her partner,
Her only love,
Her husband.
Where she was transformed,
Into her beautiful self,
For only his eyes to see.

May allah (swt) protect us all from zinah inshallah!

Dear muslim_princess,

I can relate to what you are going through. I remember when I started wearing a hijab, the first time because my uncle used to always say to us and I used always run and hide from him when he came around my house. Then one day just to get him off my back I started wearing a hijab but at that time I didn't know the true value for it, and my intention was not for the pleasure of Allah. I would have it on at school and when I came back home take it off and my parents didn't mind this. But before I started to wear the hijab I had these doubts, how do I look, what are my friends going to say and so forth, but they accepted me.

A year or so down the line by the Mercy of Allah Almighty and Blessing of Holy Prophet (SAW), everything fell in its place and I knew why I should wear a hijab, why I wanted to wear a hijab and finally I knew the true essense of hijab, now alhamduillah I do the full purdah, and can't think of myself without the purdah, it has become part of me.

The point of me telling you all this is, as I know everyone has told you (good advice from everyone) is think why did you want to do hijab in the first place, deep deep down look into your heart and the answer lies there, if its for the pleasure of Allah Almighty then struggle on and think to yourself that by you covering yourself you are making your Creator, your Lord happy, and His happiness is much much more important that others.

If you are still having doubts of wearing hijab then what I can advice you is look into the concept of hijab, why should one wear, whats the essense, the beauty behind it, and inshallah that will remove doubts from your mind and your heart will be content. (did i make sense there :roll: or I'm I rambling on making no sense :shock: )