erm well i dont know what islam has to say about adoption, i cant see any harm in it and also, i think its an absolutely great idea alhamdulillah. The Holy Prophet adopted children didnt he? and also I dont know if this is true or not according to Islam, but i cant see the harm in adopting a child that isnt muslim, but as i said i dont know especially if the child is an orphan?

good luck, with that.
Salaam x

wa'alaykum assalaam, the prophet adopted zayd (ra) who was a former slave, so its sunnah to adopt. the adopted child cannot take on the surname of the new family, he/she must have his/her fathers name and the mahram issue, unless the child is suckled by the mother then only he/she will become a mahram.

I heard a hadith that you would walk hand in hand into jannah with your foster child?

Funzo wrote:

I heard a hadith that you would walk hand in hand into jannah with your foster child?

That is correct. InshAllah i hope to adopt one day.

Naz wrote:

Funzo wrote:

I heard a hadith that you would walk hand in hand into jannah with your foster child?

That is correct. InshAllah i hope to adopt one day.

me too! imagine the satisfaction! itl be one of the best things u can do (i think so anyway)

The Prophet said, "I and the guardian of orphans are like this." He raised his forefinger and middle finger to illustrate the closeness. (Bukhari & Muslim)

i love hadiths like that, they give me this warm feeling inside, have u got anymore Noor? about the prophet saw and his opinions on children?

plenty my darling, insha'Allaah i'll post them up later on tonight.

wednesday wrote:

Fostering is one of the best, the most generous, and the most caring things you can do in today's society. It leaves everyone and anyone with a sense of self satisfaction that they gave a child the life they desrve, however, it is a BIG, BIG resonsibility to take up, especially if you have you own children. You'll have to maintain the atmosphere equal. BUT it is up there, do you understand what i mean by 'up there'? it's quality stuff people!

Adoption on the other hand, is accepting a child for life (and obviously it depends on the child to stay if they wish to after they turn eighteen) << This is where the real challenge begins for the parents ofcourse, since the 'youngling' can think for her/himself so how far will the parents accept the maturity of that child? and rememebring that they have children of their own, which complicates the situation a bit more!

and like Noor pointed out above, if adopting, the child must keep their biological father's name (the child's surname) and it hurts the person to say, "you didn't even give me your name" to their adopted parents and on the otherside of the room, it kills the parents from inside. Rough stuff people, Maybe it's just me perception (i think it might be :? )

BUT kicking all that aside, it is one of the bestest of things that you can do... especially if you have the resources to do so... (I absolutely admire child minders- people who take care of your children will you are at work etc., a relief for single parents *thumbs up*) ... I can't believe people with such admiration for children and care by nature exist even today... fascinating!

so yeah give it your best Zahira (and everyone else who has such intentions), and let us know what's hard and what's easy, BUT remembering, all that happens/happened/will happen is due to Allah's will alone!

The thing about fostering is that you can grow really attached to the child so when its time to give them up it must be really hard on the fostering parent. Personally i think its best to adopt but it is really hard esp from abroad (you must have known and developed a bond with the child for a minimum of two years).

Noor wrote:

wa'alaykum assalaam, the prophet adopted zayd (ra) who was a former slave, so its sunnah to adopt. the adopted child cannot take on the surname of the new family, he/she must have his/her fathers name and the mahram issue, unless the child is suckled by the mother then only he/she will become a mahram.

how old was zayd ra wen he was adopted by the prophet pbuh?

For the reasons mentioned above i dont think i could adopt. Because i would want to give the kid my name. Okay, i would probably tell the kid that he was adopted. But the whole not giving him the family name is a lil cruel in my opinon. The kid might feel like he's not part of the family.

And i refuse to be cruel.

that dont make sense.

wednesday wrote:

I know it doesn't ... just trying to confuse everyone! :roll:

nothing new there then lol

still you get what i mean.

Seraphim wrote:

For the reasons mentioned above i dont think i could adopt. Because i would want to give the kid my name. Okay, i would probably tell the kid that he was adopted. But the whole not giving him the family name is a lil cruel in my opinon. The kid might feel like he's not part of the family.

And i refuse to be cruel.

its an order from Allah swt.

zayd ra was first called zayd bin muhammad and then after the revelation it was changed.

Noor wrote:

Seraphim wrote:

For the reasons mentioned above i dont think i could adopt. Because i would want to give the kid my name. Okay, i would probably tell the kid that he was adopted. But the whole not giving him the family name is a lil cruel in my opinon. The kid might feel like he's not part of the family.

And i refuse to be cruel.

its an order from Allah swt.

zayd ra was first called zayd bin muhammad and then after the revelation it was changed.

I know its an order from Allah (swt), that is why it would be best if i didnt adopt (since adoption is not compulsary) bcoz i couldnt do that.

i hear you but saying something is a lil cruel when Allah swt has laid down the law doesn't seem right. 'we hear and we obey' surah nur

Seraphim wrote:

Noor wrote:

Seraphim wrote:

For the reasons mentioned above i dont think i could adopt. Because i would want to give the kid my name. Okay, i would probably tell the kid that he was adopted. But the whole not giving him the family name is a lil cruel in my opinon. The kid might feel like he's not part of the family.

And i refuse to be cruel.

its an order from Allah swt.

zayd ra was first called zayd bin muhammad and then after the revelation it was changed.

I know its an order from Allah (swt), that is why it would be best if i didnt adopt (since adoption is not compulsary) bcoz i couldnt do that.

Why not? Its better than the kid thinking they were actually yours, no? Lying is lying is lying.

All I can remember is the episode of friends when Chandler actually lets a young kid know that he was adopted, and then pays him $50 dollars not to tell his parents.

wednesday wrote:

Very true, I love it when you write Naz.

anyhow, a harder thing to do is choosing the child, just imagine you just staring at starry eyes, all full of hope and you can only 'free' one, just the one... this is where your decision making skills are an absolute mess!

true true. But i intend on adopting a girl coz the ppl that do adopt tend to adopt boys and no one bothers with the girls. So that kinda makes it a bit easier :doubt:

Seraphim wrote:

For the reasons mentioned above i dont think i could adopt. Because i would want to give the kid my name. Okay, i would probably tell the kid that he was adopted. But the whole not giving him the family name is a lil cruel in my opinon. The kid might feel like he's not part of the family.

And i refuse to be cruel.

come on that is by far the lamest excuse i have ever heard. If you explain to the child that Islam does not permit you to give them your name and you give that child love and treat it like your own it will not question its name. I dont have my dads name does that mean to say that he doesnt love me?

Lol, yes. This does remind me of that friends episode where Chandler accidentally tells that kid he's adopted.lol, i could soo see myself doing that.

Yes, noor. He commands and i obey. But unless it becomes necessary for me to adopt. I would prefer not to. My reason may seem silly to you. But not to me.

Seraphim wrote:

For the reasons mentioned above i dont think i could adopt. Because i would want to give the kid my name. Okay, i would probably tell the kid that he was adopted. But the whole not giving him the family name is a lil cruel in my opinon. The kid might feel like he's not part of the family.

And i refuse to be cruel.

But your name probably came from your father who when coming in to this country had to make up a surname so it really doesnt have sort of attachment to your family lineage.

yes especially when they come from villages back in the old days they never used surnames they only used nicknames or where they were from, thats why loads of pakistanis have nicknames

i was born in this country with my dads surname.

wednesday wrote:

Funzo wrote:

i was born in this country with my dads surname.

why surname and not the forename?

i dont know and i dont care it doesnt make me love my dad any less.

Seraphim wrote:

For the reasons mentioned above i dont think i could adopt. Because i would want to give the kid my name. Okay, i would probably tell the kid that he was adopted. But the whole not giving him the family name is a lil cruel in my opinon. The kid might feel like he's not part of the family.

And i refuse to be cruel.

Isnt it more cruel to deny a child his birthright and heritage? Your argument is selfish - you are not considering the rights of the child, but fulfilling and imposing your own wants on him/her. That is one of the highest levels of injustice in my eyes. Malcolm X, one of the best known civil rights acitvists fought for the emancipation of his people who were subjucated and humiliated into denying their heritage, including their own names. To deny a child that now would be a huge dishonour and discredit to the great man, the just cause he fought years for, and equally to all the millions and millions of people in history who have fought against the raping of social justice and the independence of the individual.

Islam asks us to do what is JUST, even if it goes against ourselves.

Seraphim wrote:

For the reasons mentioned above i dont think i could adopt. Because i would want to give the kid my name. Okay, i would probably tell the kid that he was adopted. But the whole not giving him the family name is a lil cruel in my opinon. The kid might feel like he's not part of the family.

And i refuse to be cruel.

In Islam, he or she, would be part of the family, as your brother/sister in Islam, wouldn't they?

you don't have to adopt for goodness sakes! Most people do so because they aren't able to have children.

you don't need a reason why not to adopt and you don't need to feel guilty for anything. it is a choice people make and it is not made lightly nor made under compulsion. you don't do it as a do gooder, or because there is no other choice.

its a decision not made lightly but thought out carefully. adopting deosn't make you a better Muslim or a kinder person. it gives you an opportunity to love and look after a child who needs parents. it is something you do entirely for yourself - and your need to love a child.

And because you are only looking after the child though under English law you have adopted them it is best and right to tell them of their birth parents and birth family. they have rights and it is their right to know where they have come from and that they are adopted free to return to the birth parents if they so wish (when they are 18).

you keep a life story book from birth which you are given and together with the child you explore this and continue it until they are adults. this includes photos of their birth family and letters from them etc.

Always remembering that on Judgement Day we will be called my our birth mothers name.

laila wrote:

you don't have to adopt for goodness sakes! Most people do so because they aren't able to have children.

No they dont. The ppl that adopt already have children.

laila wrote:

adopting deosn't make you a better Muslim or a kinder person. it gives you an opportunity to love and look after a child who needs parents. it is something you do entirely for yourself - and your need to love a child.

No its to give that child a better life and opportunities which we were lucky enough to be given by being born in this country.

laila wrote:

And because you are only looking after the child though under English law you have adopted them it is best and right to tell them of their birth parents and birth family. they have rights and it is their right to know where they have come from and that they are adopted free to return to the birth parents if they so wish (when they are 18).

What if there parents are dead. A lot of the orphanages in Pakistan are full with children that dont have any parents.

She said "Most" people... not every1. And i happen to agree. Most people adopt becoz hey cant hav kids of their own. Others are just crazy celebrities wanting in on the new thing.

And i think its both; a "normal" persons need to love and the opportunity to give a child a better life.

And if the biological parents are dead, then atleast the kid will know. Which is the whole point. The kid should know where he came from, who his parents were.

I sense great fear in you.

Seraphim wrote:

She said "Most" people... not every1. And i happen to agree. Most people adopt becoz hey cant hav kids of their own. Others are just crazy celebrities wanting in on the new thing.

The word "most" is what i was disagreeing with.

Seraphim wrote:

And i think its both; a "normal" persons need to love and the opportunity to give a child a better life.

Suppose

Seraphim wrote:

And if the biological parents are dead, then atleast the kid will know. Which is the whole point. The kid should know where he came from, who his parents were.

I didnt say that the kid shouldnt know who his/her parents and family are/were. S/he has a right to know and should be told. If they arent there can de devastating consequences.

Seraphim wrote:

I sense great fear in you.

Fear of what? This should be interesting, i need a laugh.

If ppl dont wanna adopt for whatever reason then no biggy. Its not fard in Islam to adopt anyway. Its rare to see Pakistanis adopting coz of this whole issue of "its not my kid and i dont wanna raise someone elses". Really saddening to see such backward mentality exists today.